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Posts with Category "Shortforms"

This is a guide on how to not be an asshole in Ferris, because too many people simply don’t know how to carry themselves in a way that isn’t a giant inconvenience to everyone around them. Apologies if this post comes off as patronizing. If this is advice you need to heed, you can’t complain. […]

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A new phenomenon has been occurring since approximately last April; late-night studiers are being kicked out of the stacks after 11pm. It’s true that the stacks technically close at that time, but before we posted the article about what to do if someone is having sex in the stacks on the book you need at […]

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Commas and periods always go inside double quotation marks in American English except in the case of a parenthetical citation. Columbia University is in the United States of America. But what is this? A comma outside of a quotation mark? Shall we take another look?  You can find this here. Even though I linked four different […]

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Disclaimer: this is completely made up. It probably makes no sense. Front table: You enjoy watching darts. You like breathing space. Maybe you want to look out the window. You don’t want to swim through 200 people for a smoking break outside. Booths: You have about four friends. These four friends bring their friends and surprise […]

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Everyone at this school is busy. Everyone’s time is valuable. Some people, however, seem to think their time is more valuable than others’. There is a specific group of people who seem to tend to do this a lot; people who flake on purchases on Buy Sell Trade at Barnard. Picture this: you’re selling a […]

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Rolls of what seems to be grass were spotted outside of the patch of dirt that we once called South Lawn. The project is projected to be completed today. A special shoutout to Facilities for reaching out to us; we love you! The students shan’t revolt. *soft, sustained, stressed, depressed, mildly excited screams* MoHi farmscape […]

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We’ve all seen those alums who hang around campus despite the fact that they literally fucking graduated. We’ve had those semi-awkward conversations: “Hey! Good to see you! Didn’t you graduate, though…?” “Yeah! I’m still here though! Haha!” Bwog investigated: why do alums hang around after literally graduating?  One might be inclined to think that once […]

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We were sad enough with the grass. Now that there is this big ugly patch of dirt in the middle of campus, we are even sadder. Facilities, we love you, but please give us grass. Ugly via Youngweon Lee

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Most bagels, when they turn twenty years old, grow stale and moldy, but not this one. Our own bagel is twenty years old and beautiful and thriving. She is a beautiful bagel and a perfect bagel in chief. Here is photographic evidence of her thriving. I found every single picture on my phone and computer […]

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If you’re anything like me, your life dream is to be Instagram famous. I’m not actually Instagram famous, but I spend enough time on Instagram to know how to Instagram successfully. Here is a list of things you have to have on your Instagram to be successful at Instagram at Columbia. Aesthetic pictures of Low […]

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We might all think we’re special and unique, but the fact of the matter is that we Columbia students are all sort of similar. If you feel attacked by this post, or don’t, let us know why in the comments below. A typical Columbia student on any given day is wearing Stan Smiths (dirty) or […]

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Shortforms

WTF, Carman?

Everyone, you need to stop what you’re doing right now and look at this. Yes. That is right. Carman has been renovated. WE REPEAT. CARMAN HAS BEEN RENOVATED. It’s only the top three floors so far, but no doubt the lower floors will follow suit. This is a disaster. Carman isn’t Carman if Carman is […]

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In honor of the long-awaited opening of Shake Shack’s Morningside Heights location happening soon, we bring you a conspiracy theory on why Shake Shack is replacing Ollie’s.  The campus has been in an uproar for the past few months, ever since it was announced that Shake Shack will be taking over the spot where Ollie’s once stood. […]

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Rafael Ortiz, memer supreme, was recently elected as the Pre-Professional Representative of CCSC. We don’t know about you, but Daily Editor Youngweon Lee thinks this is…fishy. Here is her conspiracy theory. Around the end of last semester, columbia buy sell memes was created by a group of edgy meme-y students. As it quickly became everyone’s […]

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It’s that time of the year again…election season. Supplement the endless Facebook posts and professionally-shot posters with this edition of Night In the Life, the tale of a profoundly competent and selfless CCSC candidate.  9:34 pm Messaging my hookup from last week to endorse me on Facebook—gotta work those connections. 9:42 pm Blocking them after […]

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Same Semester, New President!

What Should Acting President Claire Shipman's Nickname Be?

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