He’s the most envied and hated man on campus—yes, Steven Rubel, who snagged housing lottery number 21. So what’s going on in that lucky head of his? Via e-mail, he responds to Bwog’s queries: How does it feel to be the shit? What’s your secret? It’s just further proof that God likes me a lot […]

Housing says: “Lottery Numbers have been delayed and will posted by Noon on March 28. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.” UPDATE: Spec beats Bwog to it. To our angry poster (see comments), we’d only respond: sorry for any inconvenience that might have caused.

It is only in the heat of the housing lottery that Columbians can feel like New Yorkers. Square footage dominates conversation. Friendships end–six friends can’t fit in a suite for five. Welcome to the city, toots. Deal with it. Much of the strategizing has already gone down, but today group lottery numbers are finally posted. […]

Carly Hoogendyk, Carman RA, reports: Everyone’s favorite security guard and vocalist is now soliciting his newest musical offering to Columbia freshmen just looking to swipe into Carman. Michael Lane has come out with a second album of him doing what he does best: singing over karaoke tracks. Lane opens with Santana’s “Smooth” and ends, creepily […]

If you haven’t been hanging around freshman dorms lately, you’ve missed out on the many pleas for ’09 pairs to fill out EC exclusion suites. Bwog wonders how these living situations work out–can you figure out via e-mail whether someone has an incurable habit that drives you nuts? Are juniors so isolated that they really […]

The Bwog never knew that bedbug infestations were treated so seriously. One student’s description, though, “It was horrible,” Bettelheim said. “They would bite me and then I would get huge rashes. It looked like a miniature tumor. I still have scars on my stomach.” makes us think the John Jay kids should get a container […]

We all just got sold out to the man. As “‘required by U.S. law (Title 13, United States Code, Sections 141, 193, and 221),'” Columbia Housing and Dining has turned over the names and addresses of two dormfulls of students to the Census Bureau. Expect the men in black to come a’callin’ tomorrow. Fun fact: […]

-When Columbians aren’t busy drinking fermented horse milk from Kyrgystan, they’re assassinating people—people like Tao Tan. -The stars aligned, and Larry Summers got axed. He’ll no doubt rap to cope. Those Harvard faculty sure were mean to him. But according to David Horowitz, Columbia’s professors are the naughtiest around. Basically, they’re terrorists and/or communists. -You […]

Will Snider reports: Part of an email (“South Field Soundbites”) from Amanda Atkinson, Assistant Director for First Year Housing: In this issue you will find information about: First Year Series Events Discussion: Abortion in the Caribbean

Word has it that it costs the university 15 cents in used energy every time you press the handicapped button to open the doors into John Jay or Butler. Tuition for a full year is about $40,000, which equals 266,666 door openings. If you figure that it takes the door 5 seconds to open and […]

Rumor has it that two CC sophomores, both gay, are getting married — or maybe, got married this past week (not quite sure which). The reason? Columbia offers better financial aid and free summer housing to married students. Looks like Facebook needs a new relationship category: marriage of convenience. — Donna Loffredo