Two freshmen guys during the BlaZe: “You’re not a real New Yorker until you can use the subways really really well – without a map.” “Actually, you’re not a real New Yorker until someone has peed on you.”

Freshman girl on her cell phone: “Okay, so we’re meeting at Tom’s?… where’s Tom’s?” 

Two freshman boys, feet submerged in an inch of standing water on South Lawn: “Sandals were a bad choice.” “Dude! That is SO the name of the next facebook group we’re making!”

Leo Gertsenshteyn reports: A man in a banana costume just ran screaming through 209 Butler. Luckily, it has promptly returned to being an uneventful night of studying and NSA sex in the stacks. And overheard in Butler Cafe: Girl: Oh guess what! I’m soooo excited! I got my books on Mesopotamia today! Guy: Oh, cool. […]

Professor Molly Murray, in an email to her Lit Hum section about an upcoming end of-the-year movie watching party: “Then, (since, in the immortal words of Jay-Z, after the party, there’s the after-party): 8PM. V & T’s pizza, 110th and Amsterdam.” Overheard outside Uris: Girl 1: I’m not like…a fun person. I’m not a fun […]

Sharp-eared tipsters relayed these juicy conversational fragments: Overheard during the Varsity Show intermission in reference to the orphan fundraiser thing: Guy: You stole from an orphanage?! Transvestite (or so we think): I didn’t know it was an orphanage! I didn’t even know orphans existed! I thought they were one of those made-up things! Overheard before […]

Overheard outside Cafe 212: Girl speaking passionately to 2 guys: …It’s not that. It’s that I hate the Varsity Show, I hate everyone involved with it, and I hate it as an institution. Apparently, not everyone finds Zach Bendiner wearing a wig and make-up as funny as Bwog does.

(Skinny guy in striped shirt walks away from two girls waiting in line to pick up tickets to the Varsity Show) Girl #1: Ian smells like liquor. Girl #2: Ian ACTS like liquor. Ian was unavailable for comment.

Overheard outside John Jay:”I didn’t get any sleep last night. I went to bed at 12:30, but I kept being woken up by Richard III.” Nothing like the wake-up call of betrayal, murder, and outdoor Shakespeare. See the final showing tonight at 8 PM. Be at the Sundial.

Girl and Boy at John Jay. Girl looks at Boy’s apple juice: Girl: What kind of drink is that? Boy (sarcastically): It’s my own urine…no, it’s apple juice. Girl takes a sip: You’re right, it is apple juice.

Overheard near Hamilton: A young girl, and a grown man with a dog. Man with dog: Hey, how are you? Girl: I’m good, how are you? Man: Fine. Girl: What’s your dog’s name? Man: Chloe. Girl: Hey, Chloe! [girl pets dog] Man: Say hi, Chloe. [dog is quiet] Come on Chloe! Say hi! [Dog does […]

It’s been two weeks, and Wein-bound general selectioneers fight over the dregs of Columbia housing. Observed in Lerner Piano Lounge: One guy: I want 840! Other guy: No, I’m taking it. I’m sorry, I’m not letting that happen. Other guy, to friendly Bwog correspondent: And the funny thing is, we’re on the phone with our […]

Overheard in the Carman elevator, a first-year host talking to a prospective student: “We don’t really go into the city that much, but there’s a great bar scene on campus right across the street. And if that’s not for you, there’s great campus life too–in Mudd, there are Halo parties and everyone gets on the […]

Overheard on College Walk: “The Biennial? Didn’t they just have one of those two years ago?”

Bwog continues to revel in ethnic stereotypes. Overheard at the end of an Arabic class: Female Student: I’m really sorry, but I won’t be able to make it to class on Wednesday. It’s Passover. Male Student: Neither will I. Sorry. Female Student: I’ll bring back some food for the class! Male Student: And I’ll bring […]