Today was Commencement for the entire University, where all graduates were made official and all deans made nerdy inside jokes about their schools.  Read on for memorable quotes, pictures, and videos.

Remember: tonight the Empire State Building will be lit up Columbia blue and white. And more importantly, Bwog is proud of you.

PrezBo:

• “It is a well-known fact: the smarter you are, the more you can procrastinate.”
• “I sometimes imagine I’m president of a dating service.”
• “Being at a university means never saying ‘well that’s just what I believe.’” … “Imagine how different the world would be if people entered conversations willing to change their opinion.”
• “I believe no generation has faced a world with more promise than yours right now.”
• “I hope you will always remain the brilliant students you have been with us.”

Deantini: “The pen is mightier than the sword, but we know Columbia College students are mighty good with both the pen and the sword.”

Goldean: “They are the hardhatted, hammer-waving students who will lead the world in engineering and applied sciences.”

DSpar: “The brilliant, the bold, the dazzling, and the ever beautiful women of Barnard College.”

Dean Awn: “These students are deeply indebted…..to the faculty!”

George L. Van Amson (Chair of CAA): “Stand Columbia as Columbia stands with you.”

Pics and vids after the jump

Update: Deantini just gets cuter and cuter. A tipster reported that along with mini candy canes, he’s sharing some amazingly dorky classic comments. Ex: “We have a class called Lit Hum??? *chuckles at own joke*” and “I don’t have *anything* figured out!” Keep chuckling, good sir.

We know that your 10th hour in Butler seems to be crawling by with the same stale power bar keeping you going since 4 p.m. But if you’re on the lower levels of the library, you may have some happiness and a new snack in store. Deantini and PrezBu have been spotted handing out candy canes and administration love in 209, as per the new yearly tradition. Rumor has it they plan to cover floors 2, 3, and 4, so be on alert for a planned act of kindness.

Look at that tired, stunned expression

Provost Coatsworth

CAFA, the Committee on Admissions and Financial Aid that governs CC/SEAS, has been made anew. It used to be under the Dean, but now it’s under the Provost. It used to have student reps, but now instead has professional school reps. There should be student reps on CAFA. Please make that happen, “student leaders.”

Not long ago, Coatsworth announced ”the [re-]formation” (Bwog’s addition) of the Committee on Admissions and Financial Aid.

According to its charter, CAFA

offers guidance on how diversity—of personal experience, of academic interest, of non‐ academic achievement, of place of origin, of family background, of secondary school—should be considered in evaluation of applicants for their potential to contribute to and benefit from the undergraduate experience at Columbia [and] advises on financial aid policies that enable the achievement of admissions goals, and assesses the effectiveness of these policies in meeting educational objectives.

Why “re-formation”? Because CAFA existed before, and included student representatives. Not this time.

In 1992, CAFA Students were instrumental in killing a cost-cutting plan that would have ruined financial aid. Said CCSC ’92: “We are convinced that such policies would return us to the days when classism—and institutional racism—dictated the College’s policies on admission and financial aid.”

So why are there no student representatives in CAFA, despite history? Because of history, says Coatsworth. From Spec:

Coatsworth, though, said that “it isn’t normal for a provostial committee to have student representatives [...] I think it’s likely that we will not [add student members], because the main purpose of the committee is to have faculty advice for our long-term strategy”

And what does our own Deantini say? The three Columbia College senators met him and asked. Here’s what Eduardo Santana, CC ’13, told Bwog. Note the bolded language:

[W]hen the NROTC case came up last year, and we tried to get student representation, [Valentini said], “Yeah, of course, there should be a student on this board.” We go to him for CAFA, and he said, “No.” [...] This is really important, it’s just for the faculty.”

But what does it all mean? (Probably ill.).

Columbia’s convoluted administrative structure has undergone some major changes in the past year. To bring our freshest batch of freshpeople up to date, we’ve prepared this handy hyperlink guide to the major events surrounding the appointments of two of the most important administrators of the undergraduate community: James Valentini (Deantini), Dean of Columbia College; and Donald Goldfarb (Goldean), Interim Dean of the Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science.

Downing a Deantini Takes the Edge Off of Moodygate

• In June of 2011, then-Dean of Columbia College Michele Moody-Adams (MiMoo) sent a letter announcing her resignation to a group of alumni. In the letter, she gave her reasons for resigning—involving a controversial report about Columbia from the McKinsey consulting firm—and said her resignation would be effective June 30, 2012.
• However, PrezBo had different plans in mind: our fearless leader tendered MiMoo’s resignation immediately, planning to replace her with an interim dean loyal to the party ranks administration before the start of the academic year.
• In the wake of what would come to be called Moodygate, administrators and student groups released reactions and explanations, while the drama drew media attention from outlets like the Times.
• Though a week late for 2015′s cancelled convocation, PrezBo appointed James Valentini, a chemistry professor and former chair of the chemistry department, as Interim Dean of Columbia College; Valentini was promptly affirmed by the University Senate’s Student Affairs Committee.
• Of course, no administrative appointment would be complete without a nickname contest; the people spoke (and received Milano), choosing Deantini as the new Dean’s “official“ name.

Read the rest of Deantini’s saga and the evolution of Goldean after the break

The Twitter account, that is. We received word yesterday that the @deantini Twitter has been suspended. Turns out the as-yet-unknown creator didn’t put up the white flag after being unveiled by both Columbia College and the dean himself (see below). His resistance caused a “fair amount of confusion” according to Amanda Lang from CC’s Office of Communications, however, the dean “didn’t dislike being parodied on Twitter” (what a great guy, am I right?). Fortunately, no back alley, internet conspiracy means of account deletion had to be taken: the office simply “asked Twitter to remove it,” and they did. Don’t expect that this means the end of Deantini’s presence in the Twittersphere, however. The office “would consider using @deantini in the future.” Initiate phase three of internet outreach.

Social Media in Action

James J. Valentini, (Permanent) Dean of Columbia College

It’s official: According to this letter from Prezbo, Interim Dean James J. Valentini is the new permanent Dean of Columbia College.

According to the Selection Committee, Deantini is the “ideal candidate for the position of Columbia College Dean” due to “the depth of his understanding of Columbia College,” particularly its finances, administrative structure, and financial aid.

Don’t feel too bad for the other three candidates. They might not be dean, but they are “attractive candidates” with “great potential for assuming leadership roles in the future.”

Here’s the Selection Committee’s letter:

The search committee for the Dean of Columbia College has concluded its work. After considering a long list of nominations and interviewing four candidates over several days, we recommended to President Bollinger that he appoint Interim Dean Jim Valentini to the position. The decision was unanimous and enthusiastically endorsed by all members of the search committee. Jim impressed the committee with the depth of his understanding of Columbia College and the clarity of his thinking about the future of undergraduate education here. His grasp of budgetary process and his familiarity with the institution’s new administrative structures position him well to provide effective leadership at this pivotal moment in the life of the College within the University. We were struck in particular by his appreciation of the contributions of all members of the community – students, alumni, faculty, and administration – in making Columbia College a world-class liberal arts learning environment. Jim is also firmly committed to ensuring that all Columbia College students are able to avail themselves of academic opportunities, regardless of their financial circumstances.

In his nine months as Interim Dean, Jim Valentini has set the highest standards for transparency and integrity in the governance of the College and the Arts and Sciences. He has brought energy and creativity to every task. Finally, he has demonstrated his capacity for compassion and personal engagement with the students on this campus. These qualities make him an ideal candidate for the position of Columbia College Dean.

In the course of conducting interviews, the committee identified other attractive candidates with great potential for assuming leadership roles in the future. We have communicated these findings to President Bollinger as well.

The search committee was composed of faculty, students and alumni to ensure that the perspectives of all groups were represented.

Sincerely,

Ruth DeFries
Chair and Denning Family Professor of Sustainable Development, Department of Ecology, Evolution and Environmental Biology

Chris Brown
Professor, Department of History

Bob O’Meally
Zora Neale Hurston Professor of English and Comparative Literature

Cathy Popkin
Jesse and George Siegel Professor in the Humanities, Department of Slavic Languages

Tom DiPrete
Giddings Professor of Sociology

Stuart Firestein
Professor, Department of Biological Sciences

Christia Mercer
Gustav A. Berne Professor of Philosophy

Norma Graham
William B. Ransford Professor of Psychology

Kyra Barry
Alumna (CC ’87), President of the Columbia College Alumni Association

Yale Fergang
Alumnus (CC ’87 EN ’88), Chair of the Columbia College Board of Visitors

J.T. Ramseur
Student (CC ’13), Psychology

Mary Kircher
Student (CC ’13), Economics

Karishma Habbu
Student (CC ’13), President of the Columbia College Student Council

After the jump, read Prezbo’s letter

Today was the first day of the rest of your lives, or so we hear. For your own records, enjoy this photographic evidence that you did in fact put on the robes and get the degrees. Also, you can watch all 167 minutes here.

Send your own photos to tips@bwog.com, and we will add them!

Choice Quotes from PrezBo and the Deans

• “It’s a well-known fact that the smarter you are, the more you procrastinate.” – PrezBo
• “Standing before you in sections eight and nine, which must be an indexing error because Columbia College students only sit in section one…” – Deantini
• “If you ask me what makes Columbia great, I have a very, very long list.” – PrezBo
• “Under the watchful eye of Nike, with the leadership of Athena, in the splendor of the Diana, and with the wisdom that comes from at least nine ways of knowing…” – DSpar
• “I’ll wait for another day to make the case that Columbia is now the greatest university in the world.” – PrezBo
• “[GS grads] are deeply indebted to the Columbia faculty, and to their banks, for this superb education.” – Dean Awn
• “You, the class of 2012, are the most intelligent and attractive graduation class we have ever seen. Definitely the most attractive, in any event.” – PrezBo

The school year might be over as far as final exams and cat-naps in Butler go, but as we learned last summer, there’s never a dull moment for the admin.

As SEAS seniors and their Dean get ready to tear up South Lawn, their student council remind us that there’s more to the story, with a newly released statement reaffirming their confidence in Dean Peña-Mora’s “commitment to undergraduate students.” You can check out all two paragraphs after the jump, but bear with us for a few bullets if you need a recap.

The quick-and-dirty:

• Last October, members of the SEAS faculty expressed dissatisfaction with Dean Peña-Mora’s stint at Columbia in the form of a letter to Provost Coatsworth
• However, we had no idea ’til it was leaked to/published by the NYT in early December; main complaints were that the Dean refused to listen to other staffers, and that his hiring decisions were made at the expense of academic interests
• At the time, Deaña-Mora declined to comment—but, last month, he sat down with Bwog and addressed some of the concerns outlined in the letter; Choice excerpt: “The departments are like states, and states have their interests. But the federal government has to do what’s best for the country as a whole. I need to make decisions that are best for SEAS as a whole.”
• But wait! That’s not all for leadership drama—way back when (and by “when” we mean “August”), former CC Dean Michele Moody-Adams rocked our worlds inboxes with a surprise resignation, to later be chalked up to lots of complicated questions about protecting the College and dubbed Moodygate
• Chem professor James Valentini took over as the interim Dean of the College back in early September, and earlier this month, he talked to Bwog about some of the issues facing the College.
• More than a month ago, PrezBo announced the formation of a student/faculty committee put in place to select a permanent Dean; just last week, the timeline for that decision got pushed back to the end of May “at the earliest”

And without further ado, check out ESC’s statement

Last Wednesday, Bwog got the chance to sit down with Deantini to talk about the McKinsey report, financial aid, admissions policy, and a bunch of other things College-related.

McKinsey Report: We first asked Deantini how he felt about Spec’s publishing of an executive summary of the McKinsey report. To our surprise, he said he was happy it had come out, and relieved it had only been leaked and publicized now, rather than in Fall 2011. The reason? Arts & Sciences (which encompasses the College, GSAS, GS, the School of the Arts, and SIPA) recently completed an administrative reorganization that was very different from what McKinsey advised last year.

While McKinsey’s recommendations would have seriously diminished the power and authority of the College dean—infamously, McKinsey suggested that the dean should be responsible only for “the care and feeding of undergraduates”—the latest changes to A&S actually confer more power upon the Dean of the College. Deantini now has a spot on the executive committee of the A&S, the three-member group (the other two members being the Dean of GSAS and Executive Vice President of A&S, Nicholas Dirks) that has the final say on the budget for all of A&S. Thanks to these reforms of A&S, Deantini declared, the College has never had more power than it does today.

Financial Aid: Deantini also spoke to us about the changes to the College’s financial aid—namely, that the responsibility for financial aid for College students is moving from A&S to the Provost’s office. Before the shift, the faculty of A&S had to decide how much financial aid to give out, keeping in mind that more money allocated from the (relatively small) A&S budget to financial aid meant less for academic concerns like keeping Core sections small or funding academic. Now that the Provost’s office is responsible for financial aid, the faculty will no longer be placed in such an awkward position.

Read on for Deantini’s thoughts on financial aid and international students

It seems like just yesterday that Bwog was announcing the launch of the Core Scholars program, in which overachievers like us submit creative works inspired by Core texts to win fame and glory. Well, as some core author might have said, time flies when you’re having fun. Ladies and gentlemen, your winners:

2012 CORE SCHOLARS
Anneke Solomon, Columbia College, Class of 2015 – “Departure-in Four Parts”, essay
Gabriela Pelsinger, Columbia College, Class of 2015 – “Ode to Eve”, spoken word poetry
Marian Guerra, Columbia College, Class of 2014 – “The Ecstasy of Sonya”, painting
Rowan Hisayo Buchanan, Columbia College, Class of 2012 – “Triptych for Ovid”, triptych

2012 HONORABLE MENTIONS
Lesley Thulin, Columbia College, Class of 2014 – “In Flux”, sculpture
Raphael Peterson, General Studies, Class of 2012 – “Ascent”, original composition

They’ll be honored by Deantini at a reception next week. A few samples after the jump.

(more…)

Earlier this morning, The Eye published an article about shakeups in the upper echelons of the Columbia administration. The piece contained a couple of new nuggets in this seemingly never-ending story—including a summary of the infamous McKinsey report and changes to financial aid—but it can be difficult to keep track of everything that’s happened since Moodygate broke back in August 2011. So Bwog decided to put together a little guide to the latest news about Columbia’s administration and what effect, if any, this will have on your life. 

What’s the latest news about the McKinsey report?

Spec reporters apparently obtained a partial summary of the secret McKinsey report, which recommended three different options to reorganize the Arts & Sciences (A&S), an administrative grouping of the College, GS, GSAS (the liberal arts grad school), SIPA, and the School of the Arts.

The first option is the least radical, just calling for an additional “operating committee” to decide issues that involve multiple schools in FAS. Since the Dean of the College would probably be on this committee, it wouldn’t be a huge change from the status quo.

The second option is a little more centralized, suggesting that FAS create “functional heads” like a chief financial officer to decide policy for all schools in FAS. This would basically involve ceding authority for College matters from the Dean of the College (and other College administrators) to administrators in FAS who’d have to consider the interests of schools like GSAS and SIPA in addition to the College.

The final option calls for a major reorganization, basically putting the Provost—who would have to consider the interests of every school at Columbia—directly in charge of the A&S. The Dean of the College would only be responsible for the “care and feeding” of undergrads. Particularly in this option, the Dean is really no longer a leader; he or she couldn’t make decisions for the College but could only try to persuade and advise the Provost to make decisions.

Which of the three options did the University end up choosing?

None yet, although Nicholas Dirks, the vice-president of A&S did just announce the formation of an “executive committee” consisting of himself, Deantini, and the dean of GSAS, which seems similar to the “operating committee” called for in the first option.

What’s all this about financial aid? Will my financial aid be cut?

According to the Eye article, the College’s financial aid department was recently moved into the Provost’s office. Depending on the Provost’s priorities, this could be really good or really bad.

The College is always strapped for funds, while the University’s budget is much larger. If the University is serious about financial aid for undergraduates, then, they’ll be able to take money out of that large budget and put it directly into a pool for College students’ financial aid.

On the other hand, the University budget also includes many more things expenses—like facilities costs, that school we run on 110th street, and of course Manhattanville—that will be competing with financial aid for funds. At this point, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Read more after the jump.

Money shot

Deantini is getting in on Random Acts of Kindness Week by setting out a lot of free pizza in all first-year dorms (and some selected upperclassman dorms). Go get some. It’s good, and there are no strings attached. Crust is fluffy, cheese is tasty. Only gripe is, there is too little sauce.

It looks like Columbia will no longer be exclusively serving Deantinis—at least until April 15. PrezBo sent out an e-mail about an hour ago announcing the formation of a committee to select the next Dean of Columbia College. As Deantini is currently the Interim Dean, he will almost definitely be in the running. PrezBo has “limit[ed] the search to internal candidates” (which might be an indicator that Deantini will in fact continue to roar), and nominations are welcome at nominations@columbia.edu. The committee, listed below, will consist of administrators, alumni, professors (including Christina Christia Mercer), and two CC juniors. They will submit their recommendations to Provost John Coatsworth, Executive Vice President Nick Dirks, and PrezBo, who will then make the final decision.

Dear Fellow Members of the Columbia Community:

I am writing to announce the formation of a search committee to help in identifying the next dean of Columbia College.  I have asked the committee to limit the search to internal candidates.  We welcome all nominations.  Please submit letters to nominations@columbia.edu no later than April 15th.  Following the usual practice, the search committee will conduct interviews of a select number of candidates and then submit their recommendations to me, hopefully in time to complete the process by the close of the academic year.  I will then work closely with Provost John Coatsworth and Executive Vice President Nick Dirks to select the best qualified of these candidates to serve as dean of the College.

The members of the committee include (I am awaiting confirmation of two additional faculty members): Bob O’Meally, Cathy Popkin, Tom DiPrete, Ruth DeFries, Stuart Firestein, Christia Mercer, Kyra Barry (CC87), Yale Fergang (CC87 EN88), J.T. Ramseur (CC13), and Mary Kircher (CC13).  I am grateful to each of them for agreeing to take on this assignment.

Sincerely,

Lee C. Bollinger

Not one, not two, but three

Since the very beginning of his (interim) tenure, Deantini has closed his charming emails to the Columbia College student body with an egregious perversion of our fair fight song’s title. Though the Band may disagree, the title and refrain of our fight song is “Roar, Lion, Roar.” Deantini, however, has continued to sign correspondence with “Roar, Lions, Roar,” leaving Bwog and many of our fair commenters wondering: Where did all the extra lions come from?

The first time this happened, it was understandable. Deantini had just unexpectedly underwent promotion to the position of Dean; these early email-blunders were almost endearing. But as the mistakes continued, we wondered whether Deantini even knew his own school’s fight song. We can now report the truth.

We’ve received confirmation that Deantini does in fact know the proper lyrics of the fight song and was deliberately tweaking them in his email signature—apparently, the “lions” in his signature are meant to refer to all the students, alums, and other members of the Columbia community that receive the correspondence.

And so, we conclude our investigation into DeantiniFightSongGate. Much like Deantini’s own nickname, this incident demonstrates not the ignorance of the College’s dean, but rather an attempt to build community. Delivery of any Pulitzers for our scrutiny of Deantini’s rogue endeavor should be directed to the our office (the Westside aisle with copious cheese samples).

Roar Lions Roar,
Bwog

Prides and plurals via Wikimedia Commons

However, immunity from gratuitous administrator emails is not one of them. Want a sneak peak at your future inbox? Want to see if you’ll be among the select few special enough to be used by Deantini to brag about the College?
Oh, and Dean, it’s “Roar, Lion, Roar!”
Humblebragging wall-of-text after the jump.