A CC student at a bar finds a practical application for his reading:

No more talking to guys, no more talking to ugly girls—let’s be Machiavellian.

Sooo.. it sounds like Ted isn’t the only HIMYM character to hang around Morningside.

Due to a fire alarm, River has been evacuated. Overheard from one of the tens of residents milling around aimlessly outside, “My room smelled like a scone…is that a bad thing?”

How Cantaloupe might appear, were it an animal.

Sunday brunch conversation in John Jay deliberately blurs distinctions and crosses boundaries we take for granted.

Girl: Cantaloupe? Isn’t that an animal?

Antelope via Wikimedia Commons.

Not this one either.

A girl reading The Aeneid on the subway is approached by a random older man.

Guy: What are you reading?
Girl: The Aeneid.
Guy: Oh, I remember reading that. I liked the Iliad better.
Girl: Me too. I can’t wait to finish this so I can read the Metamorphoses.
Guy: Oh man, I love Kafka.
Girl: Yeah, me too, he’s awesome.

As Kafka says, “God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.”

Circle of Life Via Wikimedia Commons

It's a good thing sex isn't this complicated

Some times the devil is in the details. Other times its in the name.

Girl 1: Where’s 1020?

Girl 2: On Amsterdam somewhere…

Girl 1: Like, where? It’s a pretty long street….

Girl 2: I don’t know… I’ve never been there before.

Bwog recommends brushing up on your celestial navigation before setting out on this evening’s escapades to protect yourselves from the same fate as these unfortunate souls.

Fancy looking device via Wikimedia Commons

A bougie, white, early 30s, peacoat-wearing couple enters Oren’s.

Man: We would like to buy coffee beans.

Oren’s barista: Okay, let me show your over here.

M: Before you start, I just wanted to make sure that it was fair trade.

OB: Well no, it’s actually better than fair trade.

M: What?

OB: It’s actually direct trade. Oren actually meets the farmers and negotiates a price, cuts out the middleman.

M: Hmm, that sounds fine.

They continue to talk about coffee bean sourcing until the man settles on a pound and a half. Sometimes TV is real life…

Pro-tip: Just don your nicest party dress always to avoid wasting time changing back and forth between events.

Think your workload is rough? Imagine having to squeeze it in between a demanding regime of “social planning” and, like, a million Bat Mitzvahs. The following exchange, overheard by a tipster waiting for the subway, falls somewhere in between precious and precocious.

“Sixth grade, you’re still trying to figure out who you are. Seventh grade is tough, between work and all the Bat Mizvahs, you know, social planning and all…8th grade is the best. You just rule the school. On one hand I want to stay, but also I think I’m ready to go to high school…I’m just not sure where I belong yet. I’ll figure it out by the next break though.”

We only wish we’d thought to use winter break so constructively.

Unrealistic proportions via Wikimedia Commons.

This morning, senior economics majors had their last chance to sign up for required seminars. The department necessitates students to be there in person for a 9 am first-come, first-served sign up, and thus the annual IAB slumber party ensued. Bleary-eyed campers appeared at ungodly hours, trying to figure out how they would survive work life after years of 4:10-6 lectures and wondering if it was really worth it…

“I didn’t even wake up this early to get a Wii.”

For high schoolers whose involvement with international affairs surpasses that of a game of Risk, Model UN is a glorious playground. Nevertheless, such a fulfilling extracurricular has its sacrifices—for example, remember how hard it was to balance the stress of being President of Pakistan with the stress of spending all week convincing your parents to let you go to that one kid’s Halloween party where there miiiiight be drinking? A quick reminder of those aforementioned woes, overheard from a gaggle high school Model UN kids on Broadway:

“So, are you guys popular at your schools, or…?”

House of Lies premiered last Sunday night, and nestled in between raunchy lesbian bathroom sex and unbridled elitism was this little gem of an exchange. You might think it sounds familiar, and you’d be right—the ‘ole “is Barnard part of Columbia?” debate has found its way onto a national stage.

Skip ahead to 24:00.

Bwog is confused. Is Jeannie a Barnard Alum diligently reinforcing the position that Barnard is rightfully included under the Columbia umbrella, or is she a College (Business Psych major, so not SEAS) alum offended by the association? Perhaps more importantly, how does she feel not being able to use Flex/Dining Dollars anymore…?

Eat your hearts out, mysterious SCE couple.

As the first day of classes draws nearer and nearer, you should prepare yourself for classmates’ and professors’ accounts of how they spent their breaks (even if, like us, your only response is to admit you spent it in a raggedy Hanson tee-shirt, blogging). Tales of alleged “reading for fun” are sure to abound, amidst anecdotes of travel, near and far. You might be surprised that some Columbians even made it as far as the Shire—the following teaser was overheard at the School of Continuing Education.

“My husband and I once watched all of Lord Of The Rings, just to see their facial hair.”

What we can only hope is a close-up of a face via Wikimedia Commons.

Deantini shmoozes with the band

The adorable back and forth between Deantini and Prof Mercer on set:

Deantini: She’s my favorite philosophy professor!
Professor Mercer: He only knows one.

Professor Mercer: I asked Jim if there was any chance he had ten minutes on a Friday morning—
Deantini: I had to clear my schedule, my meeting with the President, the Provost, the trustees. Angelina Jolie wanted to meet with me…

Professor Mercer: When I have a beer or get nervous my Texan comes out.

Bagels and cream cheese; Debate of real facts ensues; Overheard haiku

Lend us your ear as we eavesdrop on the heated debate casual conversation of two Nussbaum patrons re: multiplication tables and the the real definition of “precociousness” (it’s Bwog, and you know it).

Nussbaum Patron 1: I was very precocious. I remember that in third grade, I argued with my teacher about whether their definition of multiplication was correct.

Nussbaum Patron 2: You must have been wrong.

NP1: Yeah, but it was an interesting point.

NP2: That’s not precocious, that’s dumb.

NP1: I’m sure I was precocious about it. I still don’t know my multiplication tables by the way.

 

Opportunity to use “B.I.L.F.” scrollover text via Wikimedia Commons.

Waking up with no idea where you are and how you got there isn’t an experience only reserved for the cast of The Hangover. After sitting through the pain of that final three hour exam, who wouldn’t want to go from hitting the books to hitting the bar? While most of these nights end with your Carman hallway smelling like puke and/or Koronet regrets, a select few take it too far. Amidst the sushi and egg noodles of m2m, we eavesdropped as a seemingly ordinary student wondered if he fell into that category.

Student: Do you have any kids?

Guy Behind Counter: Yep, I got two boys. Do you?

Student: … Not that I know of.

Benjamin Button Drop via Wikimedia Commons

Our wake-up is slightly more graceful than this one—think bedhead-chic.

Join us in bed as we bemoan the existence of Sunday finals/try to eat an everything bagel without spilling poppyseeds into our bedding (spoiler alert: it’s impossible). 

Bwogline: We’re a little late in the game to report that a GS alum handed out $50 bills to current students on Friday, in a random act of kindness. Many thanks—or more aptly, a fist bump—to Reddit user “Niiccce” for bringing it to our attention (and for reminding the Columbia community that Flex isn’t the only type of free money).

Finals tip: It’s never too late to make a lasting impression on your professors—email them every couple days asking to reschedule your exam. Don’t be shy; add a winking emoticon.

For more insider intel, check out our twitter. And while you’re at it, take a look at these.

Stressbustyourself: Deep breathing can calm your body and soothe your mind. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in, focusing your attention on your diaphragm moving down and out. Breathe in for four counts, hold for two, and exhale for five counts. Repeat until you feel calmness and energy.

Overheard: Two students talking shop, outside of Carman:

Girl 1: Yeah, she took like 2 five hour energies and then she just kept doing shots.

Girl 2: Woah. That’s like old FourLoko.

Woman checking her BO via Wikimedia Commons.