#overheard
Overheard: Mind-Blowing Citrus
Eve would've been very tempted by this fruit

Ferris…in your dreams

As anyone who enjoys the new morning donuts knows, the sight of any new things in Ferris is cause for a whirlwind of excitement.

A Bwogger recently overheard a girl get a little overexcited by the Ferris fruit:

“Are these clementines? Because if these are clementines, then I’m about to lose my goddamn mind.”

Consider your mind lost. Especially when you sample that clementine and find it a sorry disappointment.

Fruity goodness via Shutterstock

Overheard: Turnstile Bottleneck

It’s tour season and one fellow Columbian started cracking wise at the Lerner turnstiles:

“What is this?”

“It’s a really long omelette line.”

The omelette might be worth the slowed traffic but some poor Barnardian won’t be able to enjoy a drink with her meal. A true tragedy.

photo 2-1

Overheard: Hey Honey
Yellow hat/lid = the only way to go

Yellow hat/lid = the only way to go

Milano’s has always been a convenient destination for late-night munchies when you’re too drunk/lazy to walk any further. But a place to pick people up?

Recently overheard at the deli:

“There are a lot of good-looking honeys here!”

Our tipster turned around to see them looking at…jars of honey. Damn. Bwog exclusively buys the honey in the plastic bear. That’s the only good looking honey we see.

Lookin’ fine via Shutterstock

Overheard: Party Like It’s Ya Birthday Edition
Put on your 3D glasses now for enhanced viewing pleasure.

Put on your 3D glasses now for enhanced viewing pleasure.

Saturday is the first official day of the weekend. No one had any classes today, not even a stupid discussion section. Everyone is ready to get their groove on at The Heights …at, well somewhere. But not all of us could wait until the weekend. Bwog overheard one young woman having the crunkest of conversations this past Thursday on 114th and Amsterdam.

“Wait, what!? You’re getting what? Why are you poppin’ bottles on a Thursday night?”

To which Bwog would like to respond, why aren’t we all?

Overheard: Family Affairs
Okay, I kind of get it

Okay, I kind of get it

A tipster on College Walk overheard this intriguing tidbit:

“No way! So, your uncle makes murder porn!?”

Bwog has two questions. First, what the fuck is murder porn (please DON’T answer that in the comments), and second, why would you let your niece/nephew know that?

Sexy murderer via Shutterstock

Overheard: Frohdian Slip
Shutterstock apparently has more than puppies

Shutterstock apparently has more than puppies

We overheard two gentlemen at the Columbia bookstore buying their books for CC, and it doesn’t seem like they know what they’ve signed up for.

Guy: I’ve got to buy two more books for CC, one’s called Three… Jinnies… and the other is by… Frehd, Frawd… Frohd? 
Guy’s friend: How do you spell that? 
It’s not like we don’t understand… In such a psychologically taxing environment as Columbia it’s very hard to hold difficult penises in your mind.

…pronunciations. We meant pronunciations.

Disapproval via Shutterstock

Overheard: Adderall Papers
If you had Adderall, you wouldn't need to stay up this late.

If you had Adderall, you wouldn’t need to stay up this late.

While waiting for a class this week, Bwog overheard a group of TAs for a class on Buddhism talking about their students.

First TA: “They’re grumpy because they don’t get any sleep and it’s also a side effect of the Adderall. You can always tell when you’re reading an Adderall paper—they think we can’t tell, but they always have so many ideas and spewed it out in one sitting.”

Second TA: “We are surrounded by drug users.”

Third TA: “I give them better grades than they deserve…”

mole person eyes via Shutterstock

Overheard(s): Revealing Truths
Bwog is fashionable, even in the bushes.

Bwog is fashionable, even in the bushes.

While sitting in the bushes the past few days, Bwog has overheard students spilling some secrets, questioning life, and making some promises. Read on for some choicy bits:

On college walk:

Girl 1: “Have you ever…?”

Girl 2: “No! I mean, I’ve been tardy before, but I’ve never…ditched.”

Bro reading a text to a bunch of his friends:

“If someone laughs at me again when I try to answer a question, things are not going to be good.”

Hipster stalker via ShutterStock

Overheard: Pep

those fucking ballons

It’s Columbia’s pep rally

Overheard: “We have a mascot?”

Field Notes: Weekend of 10/9-10/13
HELLO BBBBBBBBBB

Bodega cat we love you

This fine Monday, we want to remind you of the glory that was the weekend.  We now present to you a new series: Field Notes, where we round up the drunk late night tips we received during the weekend.  Be sure to send in what you’re seeing this upcoming weekend to tips@bwog.com, or use our anonymous tip form.

Last week’s Senior Night was once again held at the Village Pourhouse instead of its regular Havana Central.  Revelers unanimously agreed that it was a “really weird scene.”  Something about moving a few blocks and an avenue changed something.  According to tipster, 1:43 am–”Just as awkward as at Havana, but somehow..;worse.”

Of course night life doesn’t just include bars.  Thursday, at 12:03 am, a tipster reported that a “guy across from me in Butler just pulled out a PBR…”

Then there’s the more abstract.  At 12:15 am on Friday, an anonymous tipster requested we start a new series where we “go to Greek life parties thrown to support a charity, and then ask the brothers at the party what charity they’re supporting. See how many of them actually know what it is.”  It should also be noted that on Thursday night, AEPi was having a “Rave Against Cancer” at Domain.

On Friday night, Bwog editors and Bwog tech discovered that we are not good at pool.  However Ding Dong Lounge was still, as always, gloriously uncrowded and filled with randos.

At 1:14 am on Saturday, a cat was found in a bodega on 107th and Amsterdam, pictured right.

More stories, the Wall of Shame, and your anonymous-tip-form story of the weekend

Overheard in MusicHum: Passover is a Catholic Thing, Right?
Jesus was Jewish, right?

I mean, Jesus was a Hebrew…

We weren’t even sure how to react to this tip ourselves…

From a bewildered tipster: “85% sure my Music Hum instructor wasn’t joking when he said, ‘They only composed masses for really special holidays. Like Easter and Passover.’”

No one reacted.

 


Your favorite curse-word courtesy of Shutterstock

Overheard: Ke$ha Lyfe
shutterstock_86170642

All Bwog remembers from Saturday night

It seems that some of our classmates have taken a hint from the Queen of Class herself:

“It’s gonna be the most ratchet thing ever. All I’ve bought is Nikolai and glitter.”

Bwog Pro Tip: Invest in a bottle of Jack, so you can brush your teeth in the morning.

Glitter everywhere via Shutterstock

Overheard: Judgments
Por qué no los dos?

Por qué no los dos?

We live in a judge-y time, faithful readers. You can’t love plaid and moleskines or coding the night away without someone shitting on you.

“I’m staying away from these literary people. I’m sticking to engineers—no personality is better than a shitty one.”

 
 
 
 

We will never find a more photogenic man on Shutterstock

Overheard: LIES

Now Low Library is already a bundle of mendacity since it’s not neither a library nor Low, being Prezbo’s little office and one of the tallest buildings on South campus.

But now the sensationalist media is tricking our children into misbelief! We overheard a teacher telling his kids:

“This is a huge deal! This is a real college library!”

It isn’t even that. You and whoever carved the façade of Low, sirs, should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

 

Overheard: 50 Shades

Which Columbia dorm is most conducive to sex dungeons? Discuss.

Although nobody seems to know what it’s called, that mysterious lawn in front of Kent is apparently the location for a new kind of romance:

“Do you know how lucky you are to be with me? Do you know how far out of your league I am? Ivy-educated, multilingual, generous, kind, crazy, fun-loving kind of guy, and willing to tie you up?!”

Other tidbits from couples making out on those weird island lawns on college walk or behind you in Butler should be tipped immediately.

Furnald via Shutterstock