overheard Archive



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img October 26, 20152:32 pmimg 1 Comments

If this were an Overseen, it would look just like this

If this were an Overseen, it would look just like this

Ferris Booth is not usually a place of productivity. A crowded feeding trough for busy students, it becomes even more of a pressure-cooker area during midterms. Everyone’s in a rush to get into the pasta line, then everyone’s hurrying to grab the silverware before it runs out, and then comes the mad dash for a seat (or maybe even multiple seats if you happen to have a friend to eat and converse with). If, by some stroke of luck, you manage to snag a balcony seat during the weekend brunch rush, you should count yourself blessed. But if, once you’re out there, you happen to overhear the conversation below, you should count yourself…not as blessed.

Two young men sitting at a table on the balcony began their discourse by commenting on the mysterious ways of women—always a good place to start. “I just don’t understand what they mean,” one lamented. “Why can’t they just say what they want?” His friend nodded in commiseration. The conversation quickly took a turn as the first boy made a suggestion to his friend. “Dude, you should really be getting it on with married women. They’re so much more direct.” (*Note: Yes, he really did use the phrase, “getting it on.”)

More sensible advice after the jump



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img October 20, 20151:08 pmimg 2 Comments

Save your salad stories for the second date, perhaps.

Save your salad stories for the second date, perhaps.

Some things are just better left unsaid. This includes “hey, man, I hope it’s ok I used some of your hemorrhoid cream last night,” “I actually really hate Drake,” and “Donald Trump actually has a chance at winning the 2016 elections.” A  recent conversation overheard at the Hungarian Pastry Shop takes the cake, though: two people, ostensibly on a date, were innocently discussing salads when things took a turn for the worse.

Dissecting the best salad-making techniques, one of the pair admitted that he “[didn’t] know how to toss them.”

In case you didn’t know, talking about tossing salad on a first date violates just about every single rule of romance. No, every rule of LIFE. If you’re wondering why discussing the methodology of covering leaves of lettuce with just the right amount of dressing is verboten in this context, you obviously haven’t watched the freaking Buzzfeed video detailing the nitty-gritty of “tossing salad” (the pre-video warning for “sexually explicit content” should give you a pretty good idea of what you’re in for), listened to the Nicki Minaj hit “Anaconda,” or ever taken a trip into the Urban Dictionary void. Honestly, good for you, but it’s important you know these things so you never make the mistake of being the kid who takes their date to Hungz and loudly discusses the merits of tossing salad manually versus with utensils.

The Hungarian Pastry Shop should be a safe space for enjoyment of buttery pastries and freaking out over senior theses–no salad tossing should be involved.

Sexy Salad via Shutterstock



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img April 02, 20154:47 pmimg 0 Comments

Don't be fooled, these dolls go hard on Wednesdays

Don’t be fooled, these dolls go hard on Wednesdays

What do you think Russians do on Wednesday night? Bwog heard a great snippet of conversation outside of Milbank Hall this morning, that will surely put a smile on your face.

“I’m sorry I’m not a rich fucking Russian. I’m sorry I’m a poor American. I’m sorry I don’t have a sexy fucking accent or go flaunting my tits around at Wednesday-night raves.”


Russian Dolls via Shutterstock 



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img February 21, 20152:02 pmimg 0 Comments

Classic mom

Classic mom

One tipster overheard the following exchange between two Schermerhorn denizens:

Girl 1: Yeah, it’s like, sometimes my mom will buy me a $700 keychain but not a $700 jacket.

Girl 2: Yeah, moms are weird like that sometimes.

We at Bwog are no strangers to this bizarre double-standard. Please: if you know any moms who tend to be “weird like [this] sometimes,” remember that you have the power to change minds. Together, maybe we can make this world a better place—a place with fewer platinum keychains and more tacky Canada Goose jackets.

Artist’s rendering via Shutterstock



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img January 24, 20156:09 pmimg 6 Comments

Happily wondering where his next meal is coming from

Happily wondering where his next meal is coming from

A tipster overheard the following exchange between two students in line for an advising appointment:

Junior: What year are you?
Where you trying to go after this?
Oh, uh, John Jay I guess.
For what?




Blissful shortsightedness via Shutterstock



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img November 22, 20145:02 pmimg 8 Comments

Accurate depiction of Dodge

Everyday sight in Dodge

A student tour guide was overheard singing the praises of Columbia’s fitness offerings near the entrance to Dodge:

“We have all kinds of sports and activities, including yoga and aerobics—like what middle-aged moms do.”

The tipster noted that the group was mostly middle aged moms and their kids. This might not be what they mean when they say “know your audience”.






Health-conscious human via Shutterstock



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img November 15, 20145:32 pmimg 1 Comments

shutterstock_96651895Bwog overheard the following exchange between two Columbia students:

1: You’ve never pulled an all-nighter before? Not even for social purposes?

2: Yeah, I mean, playing Call of Duty and shit.

The lesson? Don’t be ashamed if you haven’t watched a sunrise through Butler’s portholes windows. Your copy of Call of Duty, on the other hand, is feeling a little lonely.

Candle in the darkness via Shutterstock



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img November 08, 20141:30 pmimg 2 Comments

A drop in the bucket

A drop in the bucket

Overheard outside of the package center: a conversation between two girls, one carrying a pair of large Gilt boxes.

Girl with boxes: So I just spent $500 on clothes again.
Other girl: Do your parents not notice that? Mine would call me if I spent more than $200.
Girl with boxes: Maybe if I spent $1000.

Pocket change via Shutterstock



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img October 13, 20145:32 pmimg 3 Comments


Columbia B-School students featured in last episode of Suits

In the Uris Cafe earlier this afternoon, two gentlemen spiffed up in suits had the following exchange:

Suit 1: “If you met the perfect girl, would you ditch your girlfriend?”

Suit 2: “No way man, the sunk cost is way too high.”

To the girls lucky enough to call these men their own, we suggest you try dating outside of the Business School.

Spiffy via Shutterstock



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img October 11, 20146:32 pmimg 6 Comments

Overhead in Lerner from one student affairs admin to another: “Do students live in John Jay?”


This is what we speculate PrezBo does in the uninhabited John Jay Hall.

Good question! No, John Jay’s only purpose is JJ’s Place. Just ask the athletes who eat there 4 times a day…The other 15 stories are just used as storage space and other random rooms for PrezBo to do, well, whatever PrezBo does. The freshmen who don’t live in Carman, Furnald, or the LLC have to find really nice park benches every night. In the winter Columbia even gives them fleece blankets!





Dexter PrezBo’s lab via Shutterstock



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img October 07, 20144:44 pmimg 18 Comments

It's an eye-opener for everybody, not just you, straight, white, males

Queerness is basically an unspoken bonus here at Columbia

This past weekend Bwog overheard a profound insight on 115th and Broadway:

Well you know my rule about Columbia: assume gay until proven gay.

If this isn’t already your general rule of thumb here in MoHo, you must be a freshman.

Opening the eyes of straight, white men everywhere via Shutterstock.



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img August 28, 20141:59 pmimg 13 Comments

Ridiculous NSLOP tips keep pouring in, so we thought we’d share some with you. Use our anonymous tip form or email us at tips@bwog.com.

Dean Awn has lots of school spirit. We love Dean Awn (remember this?)

Peter Awn, BAMF

Slow down there:

freshman boy coming out of ruggles on Monday night with freshman girl: “that one shot really hit me so hard right now. wow, i’ve never felt like this before”

Truly disgusting:

“There’s a couple nuzzling and kissing at the financial aid info session….how have these people already found each other???”

Drink responsibly, kids:

Sweet dreams

freshman boy with orange wristband in plain sight passed out alone at a table for over an hour at cannons on tues night. lots of people went over to check if he was ok, to which he responded, “oh yeah hi I’m totally fine my friends are here with me” #nslop

Glowsticks update from the rave:

So many kids who are too cool for school, below the jump.



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img April 05, 20143:57 pmimg 2 Comments

Eve would've been very tempted by this fruit

Ferris…in your dreams

As anyone who enjoys the new morning donuts knows, the sight of any new things in Ferris is cause for a whirlwind of excitement.

A Bwogger recently overheard a girl get a little overexcited by the Ferris fruit:

“Are these clementines? Because if these are clementines, then I’m about to lose my goddamn mind.”

Consider your mind lost. Especially when you sample that clementine and find it a sorry disappointment.

Fruity goodness via Shutterstock



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img April 03, 20145:34 pmimg 3 Comments

It’s tour season and one fellow Columbian started cracking wise at the Lerner turnstiles:

“What is this?”

“It’s a really long omelette line.”

The omelette might be worth the slowed traffic but some poor Barnardian won’t be able to enjoy a drink with her meal. A true tragedy.

photo 2-1



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img February 15, 201412:56 pmimg 2 Comments

Yellow hat/lid = the only way to go

Yellow hat/lid = the only way to go

Milano’s has always been a convenient destination for late-night munchies when you’re too drunk/lazy to walk any further. But a place to pick people up?

Recently overheard at the deli:

“There are a lot of good-looking honeys here!”

Our tipster turned around to see them looking at…jars of honey. Damn. Bwog exclusively buys the honey in the plastic bear. That’s the only good looking honey we see.

Lookin’ fine via Shutterstock

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