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Spring 2017 Semester In Review

Gonna miss these sunrises

This spring has been full of drama. From CCSC overtimes to shit in unexpected places, Columbia doesn’t seem to be able to agree on anything. Bwog has been here to cover all of the action, whether it’s debates on the value of John JJ’s (*vajj’s) or students suing their school. Here’s a recap of this semester’s highlights, before we peace out for the summer.

To kick off the semester, we stirred things up a bit by changing our Bwoglines format. Columbia stirred things up more by flooding JJ’s Place. A back-up was created by converting John Jay to John JJ’s – more seating, less fooseball. We tried to come up with a better nickname than John JJ’s, but it didn’t really stick.

Barnard dorms were infested with mice, and Barnard contingent faculty were infested with anger at the administration. They threatened to strike, but a deal was reached before the deadline hit. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet talked to Columbia students. Our basketball team played some games (well, but not well enough to make it to the Ivy League Championship). Sorority and fraternity recruitment happened, and we tried to explain them.

Spec columnist and Federalist founder Neil Gorsuch, CC ’88, was nominated (and eventually selected) for the Supreme Court. The only people at Columbia truly happy about this decision was the Fed, which briefly marketed itself as “Columbia’s Only Newspaper Founded By a Supreme Court Justice. Seriously.” Meanwhile at the more local level of government, ESC VP of Policy Sid Perkins, SEAS ’17 tried – and failed – to get Legos installed in Carleton Commons. This failure pissed him off enough to initiate a long resolution on stress culture and student government’s relationship with the administration.

While we celebrated our eleventh birthday, students protested Trump’s Muslim ban, in what was perhaps the largest rally on campus this semester. The administration also expressed anger at the ban, albeit in a quieter and more formal manner.

February started out with a bang – or, more accurately, a scream, when a GS student fell into an air shaft in EC. The suspense then continued to pile, as we wondered what was up with the dining hall bananas and whether or not school would close for Winter Storm NikoGloria Steinem then came to campus, which was a different kind of thrilling.

On Valentine’s Day, we celebrated our love for NYU Localand, um, basketball? But don’t worry, – if you’re feeling less love than we are, you can probably find some in Butler. Activists protested the speech of an Israeli ambassador, perhaps foreshadowing events of later in the semester. Columbia released the date of Bacchanal without telling anyone.

Columbia standardized prices for upperclassmen housing (how’re those McBain doubles looking now?). And, of course, the Carman elevators fucked up (again).

There was some insane weather.

Midterms really kicked our asses in March, but it was the little things, like having a coffee machine in 209, that got us through. We also figured out how many Canada Goose coats were taken (accidentally or not) from Cannons. We gained a nickname for John JJ’s (Vajj’s Place), and we officially lost DSpar for good.  Columbia divested from coal but was also sued by a student for alleged Title IX violations. We did some rankings and reviews. But most importantly, Book Culture turned 20.

For April Fool’s Day, we temporarily turned our website into an op-ed platform. We also created a periodic table of Columbia’s elements.

CCSC met for four hours before eventually voting down the proposed Apartheid Divest Referendum, perpetuating the tradition Columbia not taking a side on the Israel-Palestine conflict. GSSC almost impeached their USenator, but ultimately decided against it. The Sandwich Ambassador position was cut from CCSC and replaced with Financial Security & First Generation Representative.

D.R.A.M., AlunaGeorge, and Mykki Blanco came for Bacchanal. Could you guess which one was the headliner?

We created a new series called Bwog Love, and showed appreciation for the things we love at Columbia. Speaking of things we love, we saw Dean Kromm climbing over the fence separating the South Lawns from the rest of the world, reminding students that she really is just like us.

A Physics TA was investigated for vandalizing in Pupin, and someone else vandalized an EC dishwasher with their poop. Martin Shkreli joined Buy Sell Memes, which, by the way, is still a thing.

In the Varsity Show we saw DSpar sell Barnard to CU in her final minutes of presidency, which upset some students who felt they couldn’t connect to a Barnard-centered plot.

Orgo Night seems to be regularly occurring outside now, although many alumni are still pretty pissed over the move from Butler.

Columbia is leaving this summer with a promise of cutting their credits in the fall, while Barnard is leaving with no clear next president in sight. But with all of the change and confusion, one thing will remain consistent: we will be here as your board next semester, along with our team of writers and editors, bringing you the news, the gossip, and the free food :-). Have a good summer, CU!

Amara Banks, Editor in Chief

Betsy Ladyzhets, Managing Editor

Finn Klauber, Internal Editor

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  • Woot Woot!! says:

    @Woot Woot!! Donald Trump won! Suck it SJWs it’s a new world without you precious little snowflakes.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Don’t worry. He will be impeached soon.

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