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Microsoft Word Just Doesn’t Get Us

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 93 Comments

We, oppressed Humanities students, have discovered, through our weeks of crazed paper-writing, that Microsoft Word doesn’t know anything about anything. If “precolonial” isn’t a real word according to our computers, college is a lie. Here are some words Bwog was punished with that red squiggly line for writing recently. Add your own in the comments. […]

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Alumnus Passes Away In Columbia-Owned Building On 113th

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 21 Comments

Public Safety has just confirmed that a yet-unidentified man passed away due to natural causes in a Columbia-owned building on 113th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam, across from Watt. The man was a Columbia alumnus from the Class of 1964.

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Professor Archetypes: The Dress Sneakered TA

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 8 Comments

Grad students spend a lot of time talking about binaries, which, if you think about it, is sort of fitting. Being in grad school is a kind of middle ground, and binaries are everywhere! Think about it: you’re not quite a student, but certainly not a professor; you want to be friendly to undergrads while […]

professor archetypes

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This Is Contemporary Civilization

By Bwog Staff on Dec 17, 2010 18 Comments

We’ve got you covered! Good luck, sophomores and anyone else fortunate enough to take the CC final today!

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The Graveyard Shift: WKCR

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 27 Comments

During finals, people stay up late and then talk a lot about how late they stayed up. But there are some people who stay up all night, every night—not just when they have a Sustainable Development paper due. In a three-part series we’re calling the Graveyard Shift, Bwog hangs out with people ’til dawn and […]

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Lit Hum Limericks: There was once a final exam…

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 16 Comments

…for which not even the gods could cram. Hark, freshpeople! Way back when, a few Bwoggers converted several thousands of pages of reading into limericks—the perfect size for you to memorize in between sips of Red Bull and Pepsi Max. Read on for anapests aplenty! Homer, The Iliad Achilles, the raging Achaean, Agamemnon’s war plans […]

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Dead White Men Go Dancing: CC Selections in Song

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 8 Comments

Sometimes Bwog procrastinates by reading Bwog. While digging through our archives, we found this gem of a playlist by 2006 CC prof Dermot Albert Ryan. Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy The Police: “Spirits in the Material World” Locke, Second Treatise of Government The Beatles: “Mother Nature’s Son” Hebrew Bible, Ecclesiastes The Byrds: “Turn! Turn! Turn!” […]

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Why I’m Scared of Midnight Breakfast

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 66 Comments

Lily Icangelo satirically explains why horror, bemusement, and brunchfoods go hand in hand at Barnard’s traditional last-night-before-finals feast. Midnight Breakfast is as absolutely terrifying as it is incredibly awesome. Walking into a crowded gym of highly stressed out, type-A personality, sleep-deprived girls? So, SO scary. The nervous energy that fills LeFrak Gym during Midnight Breakfast […]

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Sing Us A Song

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 17 Comments

Overseen during Orgo Night: a studious young fellow memorizing Chinese characters and watching “Piano Man.” God bless you!

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Professor Archetypes: The Superstar

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 29 Comments

The Superstar is often late for class on account of just having flown in from Singapore/Zurich/LA. Nevertheless, s/he breezes in casually. S/he chills with presidents after all, it’s no big deal. While the Superstar may be calm (they have seats that recline to become beds in business class), their brilliant TAs (who actually read what […]

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The World Still Turns While You’re Stuck in a Finals Frenzy

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 19 Comments

Former Bwog energy explorer, Armin Rosen, and The Curent‘s Editor Emeritus, Jordan Hirsch, report for the New Republic on Columbia’s new Center for Palestine Studies. “Unaccompanied by a dedication to real expertise,” the pair writes, “the CPS will be little more than a clique of like-minded academics whose defining commonality is a hostility toward Israel.” […]

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Orgo Night: This One Was Too Easy

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2010 55 Comments

Tonight was Orgo Night, that (rare) cherished Columbia tradition, in which The Cleverest Band in the World occupies Butler 209 and strives to “lower the curve on the orgo exam” by telling raunchy jokes with topical music interspersed. Likely due to a number of recent events, 209 was buzzing by 11:10 p.m. By 11:20 Public […]

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Grades@CU Gets a Makeover (Sort of)

Bwog Staff 12

colorful linezz
Daniel Liss
grades@cu
senatorial candidates doing shit
that graph = grade inflation?
wait according to that graph less As are given out in the sciences tehehe

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2014 Housing Coverage, Day One

Bwog Staff 14

all the sour patch kids
housing 2014
liveblog

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LCUI Gets on the Ballot

Bwog Staff 1

columbia money probz
credit unions
lcui
student initiatives yay

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Dean Martinez To Leave For Johns Hopkins

Bwog Staff 6

Associate Vice Provost and Dean of Student Life is one of the longest titles we've ever seen
Dean Martinez
dean of student affairs
dean of student affairs is cu's defense against dark arts
johns hopkins stop taking our deans!!!
length matters when you're hiring deans of student life
storbeck giveth and storbeck taketh
storbeck/pimentel & associates

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School of Public Health Drama?

Bwog Staff 6

betcha can't take us seriously in comic sans
dean fried
mailman
school of public health
uh oh more drama
we heard it through the grapevine

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Bwoglines: WTF are Bwoglines Edition

Bwog Staff 3

biglowns
bloglines
blowglines
blurredlines
bowgline
bowglines
bwaglens
bwaglines
bwaglnse
bwogline
bwoglines
bwoglins
bwooglines
bwuglones
dwoglines

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It’s Officially A Fiasco

Bwog Staff 80

#throwbacchanal
bacchanal
bacchanal 2014
bacchanal don't leave battlescars
day drunk is the best (worst?) drunk
lupe fiasco
please play the modest mouse remix thing!
so many puns
the hashtag #throwbacchanal makes us puke more than drinking at bacchanal will
we told you a month ago and you didn't believe us

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Spring 2014 Elections: Who’s Running?

Bwog Staff 14

#longreads
ccsc
concision
me senate
student government is important
typing is hard guys
you senate
you want my vote keep your answer short

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