Image via plasticless.com Just as you’re feeling comfortable with this new semester, you feel a sudden wetness.  Yes, CU Assassins is back, launching with E-Week 2009.  ESC has more information in a blog post thing, awkwardly titled “Oh Snaps.”  Clearly, this is going to be a killer event, as it involves multiple snaps “from behind.”  […]

Oh boy, the “New Facebook” that you’ve been hearing nothing about is here. What’s different about New Facebook? Well, for one thing, it’s certainly wider! And your wall posts are outlined in gray. But apparently there are other differences, and the madman behind this creation has explained them all in his Facebook blog: The Publisher […]

We rocked so hard, I thought we’d be together forever. And then you came back from Bulgaria with him. So I followed you home. And shouted expletives at your window all night long, and kept strands of your hair in a little box on my nightstand. I didn’t see the harrassment charges coming. From now […]

Public Safety is now on the Facebook in the person of John Murolo, the Morningside Campus Director. Let’s all welcome him into our trusting community with open arms and many Facebook friendship invitations. It must be tough to come back as The Man only two years after graduating at the fresh young age of fifty […]

Scene: a bar on the Upper East Side. A curly-haired man in his mid-20s approaches a Barnard senior and asks if she’s heard of David Blaine. “David and I, we’re kind of friends,” the man says. He then reveals that he’s a magician, and offers to show her a trick. “Sure,” she says, at which […]

In an email sent this evening, LLC director Scott Helfrich warns the student body to be on the lookout for a shady character who has been terrorizing a certain floor of McBain as of late. Helfrich included two photos and an account of the man’s actions as described by Public Safety, which reads as follows: […]