Why did Emma Watson leave Brown? Because every time she spoke in class, her classmates yelled “Three points for Gryffindor!” (NYDN) Who’s that new serial killer on Long Island? Profilers say he’s likely white, charming, and “has access to burlap sacks.” But sorry ladies—he’s not single. (NYT, Daily Intel) Which coffee cart on 43rd Street […]

Breaking news below! Mobsters busted in raid on HamDel’s mysterious neighbor, Camille’s. Charlie Sheen has locked himself in a reading room on Butler 4 with several female students, a suitcase of cocaine, and every book on the Lit Hum syllabus. Student looks at Community Food and Juice Menu from a Marxist Perspective. Emma Watson transfers […]

Roses are red, Brown must be blue, Since Emma Watson is leaving… We would be too. (EmmaWatson.com) There is nothing quite as annoying— With our hearts cab drivers start toying, “Where do you want to go? Queens, Bronx, Brooklyn? Ha, no!” Caught on tape, the act’s self-destroying. (NYT CityRoom) Speculation ensues; New, very low number […]

Put down the wands – a wizard will not be joining the Columbia community in the fall. Multiple tipsters alerted us (with startling quickness) to Emma Watson finally going on the record about her Ivy destination. And yes, as predicted, Brown won this battle. Guess we’ll have to settle for the White House.

The Hermione-to-Columbia rumor machine continues to be more active than anything ESPN Insider has to offer (yes, that was a sports reference – just move along). Previous rumors (which we and our commenters were skeptical of) were based an entry in the Columbia University directory, but now British tabloid The Daily Mail is reporting that, […]

JustJared claims to have uncovered proof that Emma Watson, aka Hermione Granger/face of Burberry, will be attending Columbia University. This follows rumors linking the actress to Yale, Harvard, and Brown, but, using knowledge of Ms. Watson’s many other names (“her birth name is Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson”), they say that the directory entry at right […]

More news about that Hermione Granger maybe-visit, not that you’ve been anxious about it or anything. Earlier, we had predicted that the next stop on Ms. Granger’s southbound Tour D’Ivy would be the City of New York. One smitten commenter directed our attention to a recent Gawker Stalker sighting of our heroine, which confirmed our […]