Tomorrow marks the beginning of something new—a new semester, that is. As is tradition, professors will jazz up their lectures and discussion sections with absurdity and mystery galore. Be sure to send your professor’s words of wisdom and wiseassery to tips@bwog.com, or leave them in the comments.

Your professors are still in that cute “let’s make the class like me” phase, saying the darndest things to get a laugh during the first few days of class. Before they actually assign homework and their jokes become less endearing, send the inspiring/crazy/out-of-context stuff they say to tips@bwog.com or comment on this post. Here are some […]

The official last day of classes was yesterday–despite the 5 make-up classes you’re taking this week because of Hurricane Sandy.  Take a deep breath and read the words of professors’ end-of-year nostalgia exasperation. Herbert Sloan, Survey of American Civilization to the Civil War: “Unfortunately, the president during all of this is James Buchanan, who has […]

A tipster has sent us the following gem uttered by an economics professor explaining off-equilibrium threat: “I don’t want you to get up in the middle of class, and you don’t want to see me naked!” …we’d appreciate some context.

Just as you realize that watching all those Breaking Bad episodes reading all your chemistry textbooks during break still doesn’t shake that feeling that you’re not quite so ready for another semester, your professors made another round of funny comments to get you back into the swing of things. Professor Richard Bulliet, History of America in the Muslim World  […]

Today is the first day of classes and of Columbia’s unofficial two weeks of “shopping.” Accordingly, professors tend to bust out some of their best material in order to sell you the idea that the whole class will be entertaining/worth it/whatever you’re looking for. Sometimes it will be, and sometimes today is simply a masterful […]

And now for something a wee bit different. In today’s Actual Wisdom, English professor Edward Mendelson teaches us a lesson about breaking the rules. And about the perils of questionnaires. It’s all below, in his personally requested format. It’s kinda like when you take major liberties with an unappealing essay prompt and end up writing […]

Happy mid-December! Celebrate the end of classes with some pithy phrases your professors say that we call Closing Remarks.  Bruce Robbins, Modern Comparative Fiction: “You don’t have to express yourself. People don’t give a shit, they never have.” Randall Balmer, Evangelicalism: “Thank you so much for being interested and coming to this class. If you […]

Here it is, the last day of classes of the semester. Fun, wasn’t it? We thought so too. As they are wont to do, your professors may end class with a delightful tale, some words of wisdom, or an awkward, abrupt silence. Or if you’re in SEAS, they’ll rush to finish that last example then […]

Tuesday-Thursday classes for Fall 2011 are done forever. They are in the past. Depending on what you study/believe, the past, and those classes, might not strictly exist anymore. Passing over that—and any of the impending existential crises that tend to come a’ knockin’ late Thursday night—you should tell us the notable things your professors said to […]

This weekend, we published a preliminary petition declaring the support of Columbia and Barnard faculty for the Occupy Wall Street movement. The petition has been officially released today on behalf of the Faculty Action Committee with 328 over 350 signatures (and no repetitions this time), by Professor Paige West. You can read the full press […]

Here are a few more quotes from your witty and wry professors. Like, um… Pringles, the, uh, fun of professor remarks doesn’t stop after the first day. Feel free to send in any weird, kitschy, or cute thing your professor says as the year progresses. Prof. Musatti ”Unfortunately, most societies still believe in…monogamy.” John Magyar, […]

Professors say the darndest things. Sometimes it’s unintentional, and sometimes it’s a well planned line that they’ve used for years to break the ice. Either way, we find them funny, and Bwog collects the best quotes at the beginning and end of each semester. Here is a roundup of our favorites so far. Prof. Lambert, […]

Classes start today! And as you probably already know (unless you’re a wee freshperson), today is noteworthy for two reasons: You will actually attend all of your classes. Your lovely profs will say silly/funny/hilarious things to convince you to continue to come to class for the rest of the semester. We at Bwog enjoy a […]

Congratulations, you made it through a whole semester’s worth of classes! Now all that stands between you and summer vacation is…finals. Procrastinate by checking out all of the ridiculous things professors said before ending class. If you forgot to send one in, or we just foolishly overlooked it, feel free to share it in the […]