Today was the first day of the rest of your lives, or so we hear. For your own records, enjoy this photographic evidence that you did in fact put on the robes and get the degrees. Also, you can watch all 167 minutes here.

Send your own photos to tips@bwog.com, and we will add them!

Choice Quotes from PrezBo and the Deans

• “It’s a well-known fact that the smarter you are, the more you procrastinate.” – PrezBo
• “Standing before you in sections eight and nine, which must be an indexing error because Columbia College students only sit in section one…” – Deantini
• “If you ask me what makes Columbia great, I have a very, very long list.” – PrezBo
• “Under the watchful eye of Nike, with the leadership of Athena, in the splendor of the Diana, and with the wisdom that comes from at least nine ways of knowing…” – DSpar
• “I’ll wait for another day to make the case that Columbia is now the greatest university in the world.” – PrezBo
• “[GS grads] are deeply indebted to the Columbia faculty, and to their banks, for this superb education.” – Dean Awn
• “You, the class of 2012, are the most intelligent and attractive graduation class we have ever seen. Definitely the most attractive, in any event.” – PrezBo

Despite what began as a light drizzle but soon became a torrential downpour, the 2012 graduating class of Columbia College made it up to the South Lawn stage—and on to the real world—this morning. There’s got to be a metaphor in there, somewhere.

Words of wisdom and congratulations were bestowed upon the baby blue-swathed grads by John “Rick” MacArthur, CC ’78—who did not clarify the whole Rick/John thing—as well as Deantini, PrezBo, several classmates, and KevSho.

No POTUS Here

Today, the SEAS class of 2012 took the metaphorical and literal stage. Super SEAS Specialist (aka SEAS junior) Brian Wagner watched and took some notes. 

Coming and going with a bit less fanfare than today’s other ceremony, SEAS Class Day took place on the South Lawn late this afternoon. The atmosphere was decidedly less energetic than it had been earlier, and there were far fewer large men in suits with radio earpieces. However, the dour weather and subdued mood were rather fitting for this celebration of Columbia’s engineering school graduates. Whereas themes of the morning included empowerment, seizing opportunities, and fighting for equality, the speeches delivered by SEAS Class Day’s keynote speaker Ursula Burns and PrezBo this afternoon were decidedly darker, if not still inspirational.

Burns did encourage the young engineers to pursue subjects they enjoy and take time to have fun every once in a while, but the crux of her speech was—instead of the fantastical promise that the grads could go on to do whatever they wanted—the unideal state of our world, which Burns supported with troubling statistics about the percentages of the population that do not have access to food or clean water. She informed the grads that it was their role as engineers to improve these conditions; the burden of the world’s problems appeared to now lay squarely upon the shoulders of a group of 22-year-olds. Jokes were made, but the message was clear: it was time for the engineers to enter the real world and make a difference.

Following suit, PrezBo spent the first point of his speech bemoaning Earth’s condition, and made it quite clear that the students in front of him were the ones being deployed to the front lines. Nonetheless, he expressed a calm confidence in the abilities of the grads, delivering a concise and fatherly pep talk.

Standing in stark contrast to the morning’s mood, the serious tone of SEAS Class Day perhaps fit the school’s sense of realism and purpose nicely. Many of the student speakers mentioned their time in Gateway as one of their first true engineering experiences; maybe today was merely another rehashing of what SEAS students have been doing all along: Here’s a problem, go fix it.

List of speakers below!

The school year might be over as far as final exams and cat-naps in Butler go, but as we learned last summer, there’s never a dull moment for the admin.

As SEAS seniors and their Dean get ready to tear up South Lawn, their student council remind us that there’s more to the story, with a newly released statement reaffirming their confidence in Dean Peña-Mora’s “commitment to undergraduate students.” You can check out all two paragraphs after the jump, but bear with us for a few bullets if you need a recap.

The quick-and-dirty:

• Last October, members of the SEAS faculty expressed dissatisfaction with Dean Peña-Mora’s stint at Columbia in the form of a letter to Provost Coatsworth
• However, we had no idea ’til it was leaked to/published by the NYT in early December; main complaints were that the Dean refused to listen to other staffers, and that his hiring decisions were made at the expense of academic interests
• At the time, Deaña-Mora declined to comment—but, last month, he sat down with Bwog and addressed some of the concerns outlined in the letter; Choice excerpt: “The departments are like states, and states have their interests. But the federal government has to do what’s best for the country as a whole. I need to make decisions that are best for SEAS as a whole.”
• But wait! That’s not all for leadership drama—way back when (and by “when” we mean “August”), former CC Dean Michele Moody-Adams rocked our worlds inboxes with a surprise resignation, to later be chalked up to lots of complicated questions about protecting the College and dubbed Moodygate
• Chem professor James Valentini took over as the interim Dean of the College back in early September, and earlier this month, he talked to Bwog about some of the issues facing the College.
• More than a month ago, PrezBo announced the formation of a student/faculty committee put in place to select a permanent Dean; just last week, the timeline for that decision got pushed back to the end of May “at the earliest”

And without further ado, check out ESC’s statement

In the time we’ve shared here at Columbia with our dear PrezBo, it’s become increasingly clear that he’s not the most, uh, accessible campus figure—unless you’re stalking him online or in class. But for most of us laypeople, PrezBo has remained a man of many mysteries, shrouded by evasively worded emails, exclusive garden parties rife with sparkling waters of all sorts, and a goddamn beautiful head of hair.

At least that’s what we thought—until we took a closer look. Turns out, like Waldo himself, PrezBo’s been right under our noses the entire time. We had Snapshot Super-Specialist Zach Kagan cull together the following freeze frames taken from Big Brother hidden campus security cameras the archives, so you can find PrezBo for yourself…

Exhibit A: PrezBacchanal

Not pictured: his roadie

Exhibit B: Bollounging On The Lawns

Not pictured: his beachwear

Exhibit C: EarLEE To Lecture 

Not pictured: his first dibs on the limited Havemeyer Wifi

Re-remember more of your memories, after the jump.

A photograph of PrezBo’s face lands itself on Wikipedia’s homepage as the featured picture of the day. He appears pensive and distinguished—concerned about the Core, financial aid, and diversity all at once—while his coif remains perfectly intact. Ain’t he a beaut?

Pencil it in! Again!

According to an email from Dean Awn, the date for GS Class Day has been changed late in the game, due to the amount of set-up and security checks required for Obama’s Barnard Class Day visit. Instead of taking place on Monday, May 14th, the ceremony will occur on Sunday, May 13th. Spoiler alert (literally): it will still begin at 9 a.m. Check out DeAwn’s full email below—don’t worry, it contains epigrams in English, French, and Latin. Update, 5:45 pm: PrezBo has issued an email of his own, with an impressive word count of 84. Read it after the jump. 

Dear Graduates,

Since the announcement of President Obama’s decision to speak at Barnard College, it was apparent that the security requirements surrounding the President’s visit could potentially disrupt the Class Day of GS, if not SEAS as well.   We were informed last Friday that, if we were to continue with our original plan to have Class Day at 9am on Monday, May 14^th, your families would have to arrive at least three hours before the event (5:30 am) to undergo a lengthy security check to attend a ceremony that is not associated with the President’s visit.  In fact, neither you nor your families would be able to remain on campus to hear President Obama speak.  We would also be confined to the Butler lawn with no ability to roam around the campus.  Frankly, I find that unacceptable.

(more…)

Yesterday the African Students Association hosted their last political round table of the year on the topic of affirmative action. Panelists included University President Lee Bollinger, Professor Eric Foner, Professor Ted Shaw from the Law School, and Janine Jackson, program director at FAIR. Packed to capacity from 9 pm till 11 pm, Lerner C555 provided the venue for extended comments from this all-star panel of speakers. Foner Fan Alex Jones was there.

ASA Political Chair Kambi Gathesha, GS ’13, commenced the round table with a justificatory caveat explaining the purpose of the discussion. First and most obviously, Kambi cited the Supreme Court’s recent decision to hear Fisher v. University of Texas at Austin, which questions Grutter v. Bollinger qua the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Kambi continued by citing the importance of broad historical and legal context while discussing affirmative action, as the issue can often be surrounded by nuanced and misunderstood language. He then pointed to the University’s announcement of a $30 million Faculty Diversity Initiative and resulting Bwog comments as evidence that this campus is want for a healthy examination of the principles underlying the policies that it practices. Kambi read aloud—”not for shock value”—a Bwog comment suggesting, “how bout instead of hiring based on the hue of one’s flesh, we emphasize *actual* competence and hire based on skill instead!” The shock was lost on me, but then I’ve never been a student of affirmative action. Who am I to question intellectual magnums like PrezBo and Foner?

(more…)

As they do every couple of weeks, our friends at the TIC box are here to let you know about upcoming arts events on- and off-campus, as well as some best-sellers of yesteryear. All shows can be accessed on the CUARTS website. 

Past weeks’ best-sellers: 

• ONYX Hip-Hop Dance Troupe presents Madhatters Put Ya Stunna’ Shades On!
• Fruit Paunch presents March Madness Improv Festival
• CISA presents Norooz 1391 Banquet Persian New Year
• CUPAL Spring Showcase
• OPS presents Chamak
• Student Organization of Latinos presents Nuestra America: El Salvador

Upcoming on-campus:

• Bright Lights, Big City, Apr. 12 – 14, $5-$10
• Barnard Theatre Department presents Gloryday, Fri. Apr. 13 at 7:00 pm and Sat. Apr. 14 at 7:00 pm. Free.
• Barnard Theatre Department presents The Blind, Fri. Apr. 13 at 8:00 pm and Sat. Apr. 14 at 8:00 pm. Free.
• Barnard Theatre Department presents The Long Goodbye, Fri. Apr. 13 at 9:00 pm and Sat. Apr 14 at 9:00 pm. Free.
• CoLab Spring Showcase 2012, Fri. Apr. 13 at 7:30 pm and Sat. Apr. 14 at 7:30 pm. Free.
• CU Wind Ensemble Presents Perspectives, Sat. Apr. 14 at 12:00 pm. Free with CUID.
• Final Fete – CSA Social, Sat. Apr. 14 at 11:00 PM. $3

Upcoming off-campus:

• The Shins, Reggie Watts, Neon Indian, and more shows from Bowery Presents, April 20 – May 20. $15-$40.
• An Evening with Fleisher & Kalish, Fri. Apr. 20 at 7:30 PM. Students: $10 with code CMSCU.
• Yuja Wang and Mahler’s Symphony No. 1, Tue. Apr. 17 at 7:30 PM. Student Rush: $12.50
• Ballet Hispanico at the Joyce Theatre, Sun. Apr. 28 at 2:00 PM. $29

Perfecting the smize.

Look alive, Columbia! Tomorrow afternoon, the Senate’s holding their 4:30 pm Town Hall about publicizing Course Evals in 104 Jerome Greene Hall.

In the meantime, the best we’ve got is CULPA. Since his Freedom of Speech & Press class still has some vacancies, we’ve culled the best of PrezBo’s CULPA evaluations for the fall course offering:

• “Remember in Legally Blonde when she freaks out in her first law class because the professor randomly calls on her and expects her to have read and understood case law? Ok, that’s really how law classes work. And that’s not even half as intimidating as it really is.”
• “I imagine the quality of this course is entirely dependent on whether or not he’s in town.”
• “Once you’re comfortable with the possibility of PrezBo grilling you (and you should be, he couldn’t care less), then you can’t go wrong taking it.”
• “I’m pretty sure the review below this one was written by someone from Bollinger’s office. He is a very image-conscious guy, so I wouldn’t put it past him. I guess that’s the first thing everyone needs to know about Bollinger: he is a bit of a prima donna, yet tactful at keeping his annoyance with the inferiority of the world under wraps.”
• “If the student clearly doesn’t know what they’re talking about, PresBo will make them feel fairly inadequate at life, which is more than most professors have the balls to do.”
• “He shows up late to class exactly 5 minutes and keeps class late exactly 5 minutes every week.”
• “I walked away with this distinct impression that he lacks any genuine intellectual rigor. If he does have the intellect of an average Columbia professor, then it is obviously taken up by his occupation as president.”
• “Unfortunately one must often sit through this painful process while the students he has chosen to call on struggle to articulate their half-formed opinions.”

PrezBo via Wikimedia Commons

A couple of minutes ago, Columbians opened their inboxes to the announcement by our dear PrezBo that the University will be spending $30 million to recruit women and underrepresented minorities to the faculty. His e-mail, in full:

Dear Fellow Members of the Columbia Community:

The experience of being on the Columbia campus makes clear that a diverse university community is essential to achieving academic excellence.  Indeed, fostering the uninhibited exploration of competing ideas and beliefs—expressed by people of different backgrounds and perspectives—makes possible the distinct brand of scholarship, learning, research, and public service that are Columbia’s reason for being.  

We can be proud that we have achieved notable success in building a student body that is one of the most diverse, both culturally and socio-economically, among the nation’s great universities.  Yet all who are familiar with the University’s commitment to opening doors to those who have been underrepresented in American higher education, and our nation’s more uneven history of pursuing the same goal, appreciate that building a diverse university community is not the work of a moment or only of admissions offices.  It requires a sustained effort and the attention of us all.

In recent years we have devoted increased attention to the challenge of enhancing the diversity of our faculty.  Today we announce a significant expansion of these ongoing efforts through a $30 million commitment to the recruitment and support of outstanding female and underrepresented minority scholars.  Recognizing that enhancing diversity is a core academic responsibility, we asked the deans to lead this process for their schools.  Their work was supported by the Provost’s Office of Academic Planning, directed by Vice Provost Andrew Davidson.  The result has been the creation of three-year plans, responsive to each school’s distinct priorities and needs.  The plans address key points of the faculty career cycle, with specific strategies for achieving the diversity goals of each of our schools.  

Employing this flexible, collaborative framework, Columbia is poised for new investments in the recruitment of outstanding faculty and postdoctoral scholars from underrepresented groups to more closely reflect the composition of the national pool of qualified candidates; and a small-grants program for junior faculty designed to contribute to their career success.  In addition, we will provide some support for enriching the pipeline leading to faculty appointments with the goal of enhancing the participation of pre-doctoral and Ph.D. students from underrepresented groups.  

The expansion of these activities across our campuses reflects a shared financial commitment, with $15 million from the University’s central budget matched by contributions from the individual schools, resulting in the total of $30 million to meet the costs of this effort.  The sizeable dedication of resources comes with an insistence on accountability and achieving measurable movement toward our goals.  The Provost will be appointing an advisory committee of senior faculty to help guide this process.  The Provost’s Office of Academic Planning will work with schools to design and implement mentoring and professional development programs for junior faculty; create training materials for search committees; and exchange information on best practices.  In the coming weeks, the Provost’s Office will be working with the deans on plan implementation.  

The announcement we make today builds on recent successful efforts, led by former Vice Provosts Jean Howard and Geraldine Downey, including a diversity initiative focused on the recruitment of Arts & Sciences faculty and one supporting fellowships for junior faculty at Columbia’s professional schools.  Under the leadership of Vice Provost Andrew Davidson, our focus now turns to working to enhance faculty diversity at all of Columbia’s schools and to employing the considerable resources that have been made available as efficiently and effectively as possible to achieve this goal.   

With the help of the many deans, faculty members, alumni, and administrators dedicated to this important endeavor, we look forward to this next phase in our efforts to expand and strengthen Columbia’s unique academic community.

Sincerely,

Lee C. Bollinger, President

John H. Coatsworth, Provost

Meet him!

Looking for Sunday night dinner plans? PrezBo would be happy to host you at his place for a homemade dinner. “Starts at 8, goes until whenever,” he wrote in an e-mail to Bwog. “Wouldn’t want to miss the Bwog meeting. It’s just going to be comfort food mainly. Warm approachable stuff.” The president is purportedly looking forward to “just talking/chilling” to/with undergrads, but especially hopes that the topics of the Manhattanville expansion and Obama’s speech at Barnard class day come up. No registration, pre-screening, or security clearance required, so come on down!

Your would-be host via Wikimedia Commons.

Because commenting on comments isn’t meta enough, PrezBo and DSpar have released a third statement to Spec regarding the Obamanard fallout. Now that the furor has more or less gone viral:

We join in the sentiments expressed by so many of our wise and thoughtful students that disrespectful comments are not representative of our community.  Our collective undergraduate student body takes justifiable pride in the uniqueness of their individual schools even as they share so many of their collegiate experiences.

In light of this infinite loop of commentary, Bwog would like to reiterate its commitment to serving as a conduit for Columbia community discussion. It’s clear that this discussion can, at times, take a severely hateful turn. But even challenging moments like this one offer an opportunity for progressive discussion and confrontation of social ills. To be clear, Bwog condemns and thoroughly disagrees with the hatred directed at both the Barnard and Columbia College communities. However, we do not view ourselves as arbitrators. Bwog comments are a mirror held up to the student population, soberly reflecting our microcosm of society with all of its imperfections intact. We encourage student efforts to rationalize the terms of this ongoing discussion, and look forward to a near future in which both the Columbia College and Barnard have resolved their differences, and can all get back to procrastinating in Butler together with hearts full of sibling-y love.

Updated with statements from CCSC and SGA after the jump.

Since the news broke Saturday morning that President Obama will be Barnard’s Commencement speaker, Bwog has been more or less blowin’ up with commenters’ reactions. Today, the folks over at the New York Times labelled the chaos “sibling rivalry,” and asked Columbia administrators and students what they make of it.

PrezBo bit—quoteth the NYT:

Lee C. Bollinger, the president of Columbia University, drew a distinction between the harsh comments, which he said “reflect the views of hardly more than just a few people,” and the disappointment that “reflects the sense of enormous connection with the president as an alum.”

“It’s completely understandable,” he added.

DSpar got in on the action too, with a response we’ll just file under “apt.”

Debora L. Spar, the president of Barnard, said the relationship with Columbia was complicated and at times tense, but she dismissed the online commentary as what “probably is 19-year-olds writing at 4:30 in the morning.”

Read the article in its entirety for more responses from the Columbia community (including a cheeky kicker from DSpar!).

PrezBo becomes the 603rd person to comment on Obama’s upcoming Barnard gig:

Spotted by a tipster on the 114th street facade of Lerner