#psa
PSA: Don’t Get Locked Out
Time to get crafty

Time to get crafty

If you haven’t heard, Columbia has a new policy when it comes to getting locked out of your room. According to those Columbia emails that you don’t read, “residents are granted one complimentary key assist and one complimentary proxy escort per semester.”

A key assist is when a faculty worker comes to open your door, and a proxy escort occurs when you authorize housing (by emailing them from your Columbia email address) to let someone else into your room. As for key loans, “each resident is granted three complimentary key loans” for the semester.

After locking yourself out three times you will incur a $50 charge. Additional proxy escorts and key assists have a $20 charge. For other questions, read the Guide to Living.

Another Year, Another Orgo Night/Midnight Breakfast Smashup

What it says on the tin. When you need that study break tonight, the Columbia University Marching Band’s got you covered, as they do every semester. Orgo Night, Butler 209, 11:59 pm. Go groan at the lame jokes and tweet the good ones so we don’t have to. Snag a spot early.

And as always, accompanying Orgo Night is Barnard’s Midnight Breakfast: Breakfast in Wonderland. The lineup goes like: BC First-Years @ 11pm; All of BC @ 11:30pm; CU @ 12am, and the whole shindig is in the LeFrak Gymnasium.

Go to one, go to the other, go to both. Take a break. Laugh a little/eat a little. You deserve it.

PSA: Old Man Wants to See Your Feet
Mmm does our big toe turn you on, Tarantino?

“Quentin Tarantino, star of my sexual nightmares” — Tina Fey

Ladies, you’d best listen up. There’s some creepy shit going down at the Barnard library right now.

These alarming tips just came in:

“Man in Barnard library just asked me to remove shoes so he could see my feet. What is going on, Bwog”

“There have been reports of a man coming into Barnard’s Lehman Library asking female students to take off their shoes so he can touch their feet.”

A source who works in the Barnard library confirms that they’ve received emails in the past to report the “weird creepy foreign man with a foot fetish.”

Obviously this would be happening during finals. If you’re foot-conscious or easily creeped out, might be best to head to a different library today.

Podiaphile via Wikimedia Commons

Breaking: 113th Crawling with Police

Bwog has received multiple tips that 113th street is crawling with police. Tipster say that they are responding to a student with a rumored mental health issue in one of the Columbia dorms to the left of Symposium. If you have any information, let us know at tips@bwog.com.

Update 2:30pm Public Safety has issued the following email:

Dear Members of the Morningside Community,

Significant NYPD presence at 113th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue. Please avoid this block until further notice.

Thank you,

CU Public Safety

Update 2:57pm Police have taken down the barricades, and traffic is moving again on 113th. Apparently a woman in her 20s, in what we believe was 540 or 542 113th Street (both Columbia apartment buildings administered by UAH) was put in an FDNY ambulance while screaming—it is rumored she had barricaded herself into her room. NYPD removed her from her apartment and put her in the ambulance. No confirmation on if she is a Columbia student or not.

The police line has been taken down, and traffic is moving again. Emergency vehicles are pulling out.

Update, 3:20 pm Public Safety sent this email:

NYPD activity on113th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue has concluded successfully. The street has now been reopened. Thank you!.

Update, 6:06 pm Public Safety has confirmed to Bwog that the woman was a GSAS student in 542 W 113th.  She was emotionally disturbed and removed to St. Luke’s Hospital.

 

PSA: Get on top of Barnard

Apparently Dean Hinkson and Barnard’s Student Government Association have opened the roof of the Diana Center from 12:00-2pm today. That’s right, you are actually allowed to go on the roof.

So hop on this intrepid sit-outsiders. Enjoy the weather. And don’t forget to thank your friendly SGA. Their first town hall is this Thursday, 6-8pm, in the Diana Event Oval. (They talk about feminism. It’s cool).

PSA: “Hey, Who Turned Out the Lights?”

Update: As of 11:56 pm, power is back.

At 8:54 pm tonight, Bwog received a tip that the power in Wien had gone out. Skeptical, Bwog checked out of our 18th story EC window to see most lights in Wien on, indicating that the tipster was in error.

Around 9:30, we received confirmation from the Wien CA that the power in most rooms was out, and the elevators were not working.

At the time of writing power appears to be out building-wide. It is not clear what the timeline is for getting power back on, but for now Wiener’s probably don’t want to return to their linoleum-tiled abodes. We’ll keep you updated as more information becomes available.

PSA: Don’t Get Fined for Un-Stopping Your Window
He gets you.

He gets you.

A freshman emailed Bwog in the heat of his despair:

“The living situation in Hartley, John Jay, and Wallach is becoming a huge problem. People sleep with fans next to their faces, wake up sweating, and have to take multiple showers per day. It’s even boiled down to people crashing in Carman just for the air conditioning. When does summer end again?”

 

We’ve heard weather dances don’t work, but we can tell you to buy a fan and head to the air-conditioned libraries/continue your Carman sleepovers. If you were thinking about taking out your window stops, read an email we were forwarded:

Hey guys,

If you don’t know me, I’m [name redacted]–the RA on [floor redacted].

The super spoke to me this morning about uninstalled window stops. He can see that a lot of you have uninstalled them from looking up at the building from the street. He also has keys to all of your suites and can go see for himself if they’ve been uninstalled.

Housing is setting up fines for uninstalling your window stops. If you have removed them, please put them back in. If you’ve been considering taking them out–lucky you! You’ve procrastinated just long enough to save yourself hundreds of dollars in fines.

I know it’s ridiculously hot. My room is ridiculously hot too. But suffering is better when we all do it together, so to those of you basking in the cool air wafting in because you don’t have window stops: join us.

Best,

[name redacted]

A chill bro via Shutterstock

Your Campus Rep Really Does Hate You
The life of a sorority campus rep.

The life of a sorority campus rep.

This Saturday night, a Bwog correspondent was enjoying a wonderful dinner at Freda’s (109 and Columbus). It was a calm evening until a particularly loud comment from the table behind him caught his attention.

“I am their campus rep, and I fucking hate them.”

The unknown Columbia employee went on to talk for another 10 minutes to his/her friends. He went on to bash the sorority (who shall remain nameless) he/she works with for the next 10 minutes saying:

“They are the most self-centered human beings I’ve ever met… They’re awful! I hate them… They’re so in love with themselves–it’s sick!”

The disgruntled admin’s friends all found it rather amusing, but their statements might lend some credibility to any group out there who has ever felt like their administrative connection was actually out to get them. But I suppose if you had to deal with things like this, maybe you would feel the same way.

Overly Attached Girlfriend, Meet Overly Attached Computer

This is an important document

We all have that one friend, that girl who keeps texting her boyfriend, tweeting her boyfriend, screen shotting posts by her boyfriend, and generally just scaring the crap out of her boyfriend.

Now, there’s Overly Attached Computer.

Remember that time you needed to bring a resume to that interview for that internship with that company that never called you back? You probably printed it from a Columbia printer, and used a Columbia computer. Guess what? The computer saved a copy.

Remember that time your mother emailed you a copy of your passport for that fun trip/mandatory detox in Paris?

The computer saved that too.

In fact, computers at Columbia University, (with those at Carman Hall reviewed specifically), are gold mines of information that should probably be private. Bwog has found addresses, birthdays, telephone numbers, and of course pictures, in these public documents.

So the next time you print something out, such as a copy of your passport, double check the documents saved on that computer. You just might find a copy available for public use.

Because Overly Attached Computer is overly attached.

What not to leave for public consumption via Shutterstock

PSA: Keep Thy Loins Girded
They can do that?

They can do that?

Bwog received an anonymous tip from an RA outlining the current procedure for investigating marijuana incidents:

  • If an RA detects the smell of weed, or someone reports the smell to an RA, they call in another RA to confirm.
  • Once two RAs have confirmed the smell, they will knock on the door in question
  • If no one answers, the RAs will call Public Safety and key into your room

According to the Terms & Conditions of Housing’s Guide to Living, this is completely kosher:

The University reserves the right to enter an assigned space for reasons of health, safety, or emergency with or without the occupant’s permission; for the purpose of insuring compliance with these Terms and Conditions of Residence; for inventory; and for making necessary repairs.

Since Bwog thought that RAs couldn’t enter your room unless you open the door, we figured we’d let you know to hide your bong, hide your stash, ’cause they invadin’ everybody up in here.

Surprised stoner via Shutterstock

Crash on Broadway
Aerial view of the scene

Aerial view of the scene

If you live near the Broadway/115th intersection and are wondering what all the sirens are about, here’s the info. A taxi cab has collided with an NYPD vehicle and spun out of control and into the sidewalk in front of Morton Williams. It appears nobody is hurt.

Cheap Eats in Morningside
ALL the food

All this for $3

Whether you’re boycotting the meal plan or boycotting Milano, Morningside offers a plethora of  inexpensive dining options to try before you come to the last resort of, you know, actually cooking. Here’s a roundup of some staff favorites– add your tips in the comments!

Breakfast:

$3.75 for a large coffee and ham, egg, and cheese bagel at the breakfast cart on 120th and Broadway (Monday-Friday)

Lunch:

$7 appetizer, entree, and coconut ice cream at Sookk (101st and Broadway)

$8 appetizer and entree at both Thai Market and Wondee Siam V (both at 107th and Amsterdam)

$8 chicken entree and side at Freda’s Caribbean and Soul Cuisine (between 108th and 109th on Columbus Ave)

Dinner:

$5 burger Mondays and $5 hot dog Tuesdays at Deluxe (113th and Broadway)

$6 dinner special on Tuesdays at Wondee Siam V

All Day:

$3.69 falafel sandwich at Falafel on Broadway  (between LaSalle St and Tiemann Place on Broadway)

$6 make-it-yourself pita at Maoz (111th and Broadway)

Noms via Wikimedia Commons

PSA: Robberies in EC

we all had 2 team up 2 write these txts…

[Received on February 8, 11:00 PM]

Lock ur doors…they r stealing stuff in ec…whats ec..they sent out an email…make sure 2 keep ur stuff safe…and dont go out in the storm…luv bwog

 

[Received on February 8, 11:01 PM]

Y r u not answering…ru even reading this…did they steal ur phone…ru out in the storm…if ur out in the storm ur grounded…luv bwog

 

[8 missed calls from Bwog]

 

[Received on February 8, 11:03 PM]

hello??????????????????

[Received on February 8, 11:07 PM]

hello???????????

[Received on February 8, 11:11 PM]

hello???????????????

 

[Sent on February 8: 12:00 PM]

Hey Bwog. Relax, I’m fine. I don’t even live in EC.

 

[Received on February 8, 12:00 PM]

U r grounded. Lock ur doors

Your adoptive overbearing parents via Shutterstock

PSA: Reactivate Your Room Key or Get Locked Out!
A nasty surprise come January

A nasty surprise come January

This PSA is relevant only to those who have electronic swipe access to their room via CUID. If you access your room with a mechanical key or a Ving card (the one with holes in it), go find some other way to procrastinate. 

Last week, housing sent out an e-mail to everyone who uses their CUID as their room key about some sort of “self-encoder” stations that you have to stick your CUID in to “re-activate” it. Whatever that means.

Except what it means matters, because if you don’t re-activate your CUID by today at one of those mysterious black boxes with flashing lights that have appeared in Wien, Hartley, Broadway, Nussbaum and Carman, you will find yourself unable to access your room. In order to use the encoder station, simply place your CUID into the slot with the magnetic strip on the right side, facing down. The machine will make funny noises for about 15 to 30 seconds, then spit your card back out with gusto. If your room key fails to work after this process, or if you left campus before re-activating your card, see Hartley Hospitality desk for “further assistance.”

Housing’s full e-mail after the break

Be a Powersuite

Powering your powersuite

Do you live with all political feminists? Have you made a giant Harry-Potter themed map of Columbia? Does your suite have artistic domination over all of campus? If you’re not impressed by any of these situations, then we’re interested in you and your illustrious living companions! Bwog is bringing back Powersuites, aka the living lifestyles of the bizarre and maybe famous. Whatever your interpretation of power is, we are hungry to learn and write and post all about it.

If you and your suitemates are well-known throughout campus, are all professional trapeze artists,  have raised an army of teacup pigs in your dorm room, or just think you have some clout, we want to know about it. Send us your info to tips@bwog.com!
What Bwog understands power to be via Wikimedia