For the second Senior Wisdom of the day we present Meriam Raouf, who takes “30 words or fewer” literally and “one thing to do” less so.
Name, Hometown, School: Meriam Raouf – Flakes, New Jersey – CC
Claim to fame? I half-heartedly interned for KCR like 1 semester a year, and never took the test, so there’s that. I think I got nominated because I may or may not have pooped in the pool during my swim test. I lived in the Writer’s House in Harmony, I usually have tequila with me at Quarto readings.
Where are you going? You’re not the boss of me.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
- The only thing dumber than wearing a bikini on campus on a brisk day in May, is discussing it. In fact, the only thing dumber than doing any dumb thing, is discussing it. It’s like you didn’t even see Mean Girls.
- If food, mice. Every damn time.
- If you make a joke, and it is too much for your friends, and this happens a lot, and you feel weird about it, make new friends, not new jokes. Your second joke will be worse and your second friend will be better.
Back in my day… Well first of all, John Jay had Hogwarts lighting. The turnstile at Lerner was fucked up so that if you swiped your ID without paying attention to the click, it would clothesline you right in the crotch. It was funny to watch people do–I’m pretty sad they fixed that. 1020 didn’t dare have a LINE, let alone a ROPE for that line, the nerve. The artist formally known as Campo was just Campo, a place where freshmen could get drunk in the morning, and a half-decent second base at night. Women were not allowed to go to Columbia, Four-Loko was not Three-Loko, and not a single igloo was left un-hotboxed.