Welcome back from Thanksgiving Break—if you were one of the fortunate Columbians who left campus, that is. If you weren’t, you probably tried to steer clear of Butler. But these guys didn’t; join hands with Amateur Expert Anthropologist Claire Sabel as she paints a very pretty picture of The Long Weekender. 

Representation of hypoallergenic cats that Louise McCune may or may not have smuggled into Butler.

Unable to return home for the holidays because they’ve developed a sudden and violent allergy to the childhood pet, and just really need some space right now, the Weekenders abandon their families for the safest space there is: the Reference Room of Butler Library. Sighing contentedly in their misery, they move in Thursday night, sporting an assemblage of sweats and PJs designed to exclaim, “Yeah it’s Thursday night, I’m comfy, and I don’t give a fuck.”

The Ref Room is a strategic choice. You don’t just put your feet up and take a snooze in here. Only under ceilings of this height can the loft of their academic ambitions soar to their true heights, buoyed by thoughts of frivolous freshpeople at home with their parents complaining about the Iliad and sexting their darkest LLC fantasies.

Since they’re here for the long-haul, the Weekenders bring all the essentials. There’s going to be so much space for the next few days, and they really want to utilize it. A pillow pet, a large bag of M&Ms, the ten books at the core of their thesis research, glasses, contacts, glasses cleaner and contact solution, are all laid out. It passes 11, 12, and the Weekenders thoughtfully gaze down at their reading, occasionally around at each other, and munch peacefully on the M&Ms (they’re holiday-themed). Soon though, one notices a neighbor has set aside his work and opened up a copy of Deadalus. Others around the room notice this shift to recreational, yet still intellectual, activity, and gradually follow suit. A trickle-down effect is noticeable, as screens across the Ref Room display Ted Talks, then xkcd.

Soon enough, every Weekender has given up pretense of academic pusuit and is watching a Pixar movie (Toy Story 3 is noticeably dominant). Safe in the knowledge that everyone else is in the same boat, with only the best of intentions, these archetypes do not judge.

After all, they’ve got the entire weekend ahead of them.

We asked, and you delivered. Although you won’t be around home long enough to enjoy a full week of Thanksgiving leftovers, we imagine that a gallery of festive and appetizing spreads will inspire the holiday spirit to linger just a little bit longer. Moveable feast/ food porn below:

At least we didn't make a (cranberry) saucy pun...

As per tradition, we put our heads (see: gmail accounts) together and compiled this long list of the things/people/places/things/snow penises for which we are most thankful. Contest, corroborate, or add your own in the comments.

It’s that time of the year where we’re allowed to get a little corny (<– Thanksgiving pun), so on that note, let us be the first most public to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. See you Monday!

Vegetables or Minerals

• The Onion Horoscopes
• Amir’s Hummus
• Pumpkin Ale
• Pumpkin Tarts
• Pumpkin-everything
• Fresh coconut from Westside
• The last banana
• Whole wheat noodles at Ferris
• Levain Bakery on Frederick Douglass
• Coconut Liberté yoghurt
• Westside cheese samples
• Absolute bagels
• Strawberry cream cheese
• Kitchenette cheese grits
• M2M #5 wrap
• Kim’s Magic Pop at Westside

Libations

• Port
• Woodchuck amber hard apple cider
• NYC water
• Tea and sympathy
• Creamy coffee foam on the top of coffee
• The first sip of cold beer

Those days 

• Little kids laughing on campus
• Sunset in Riverside
• The rare chance of getting into an elevator in Hamilton
• People you don’t know waving back and smiling when you mistake them for someone you do know
• Five-day weekends
• Waking up naturally right on time
• Study spots that achieve that perfect storm of enough space, pleasant lighting, and ambient noise
• Back rubs
• 90′s music playing at Joe
• Thoughtfulness that takes you by surprise
• Becoming “a regular”
• Heights Happy Hour
• How the water in Dodge (Athletics) is always (n)ice cold
• Surprise puppies on the street
• Nussbaum getting an A for sanitation
• The sunrise after an all-nighter

The season

• The perfect snow for snowmen
• The tree-lighting ceremony
• Crisp autumnal days
• Leaves at their prime crunchiness
• Warm weather in November
• Hot apple cider twice a week at the farmers’ market
• Holiday lights

There’s An App For That

• That freshman who invented Self Control
• The FatBooth app
• Twitter
• Professors’ Twitters
• IEEE
• The GingerBooth App
• Free Internet
• Google
• The reply-all button being harder to hit accidentally
• Gifs
• Facebook privacy settings
• MTA maps on your smartphone
• TED talks
• Amusing spam

Professors

• Drinking with professors
• Bumping into professors at Community
• Professors that care
• Good looking professors and TAs
• Flexible due dates

Other People

• Cuddle buddies
• Columbia comedy groups
• Class friends
• Friends who offer bites of their food
• Phil Schaap
• Friends who stress bake
• Roosevelt Montàs
• Friends who give you their laundry card when you don’t have cash
• Don Draper
• Roommates who make you tea
• Boris V.
• Talented freestyle rappers
• Elisabeth at the Hartley Hospitality desk
• Friendly dorm security guards
• Someone like you” by Adele
• StressBusters
• Suites of best friends
• Firm handshakes
• Beyoncé
• Unexpected bromance
• Cooking with friends
• Wrestling with friends

Snow Penises

• Snow penises

Infrastructure

• The cold water fountain on the top floor of Dodge (Music/Art)
• Beds that are bigger than a twin XL
• Fireplaces
• Postcrypt
• Zumba
• Singles
• Paisley Bedsheets
• Inter-library loan
• Extensions
• Sweaters with elbow patches
• Flex at Duane Reade
• Free hugs
• Columbia’s future composter
• Flattering lighting
• The Central Park loop
• Beautiful library ceilings
• Proximity to the Met Opera
• The perfect curvature of the statue on the right side Low steps ledge for sitting
• Milano
• Butler 210
• Great accents
• Good company
• Circulating movies from Butler Media
• ADI course scheduler
• Brad’s Café
• Superfluous pillows
• CrackDel
• Immersion blenders
• Pick-me-up jamz
• Furry hats
• Lululemon Leggings
• Waterproofing spray

Television

• Community
• 30 Rock
• Netflix instant
• Late night How I Met Your Mother reruns

Dean Peter Awn sent out this email to all GS students earlier today, subject line: “Meleagris Gallopavo.” (That’s the Wild Turkey, to you plebs) If this (or this) doesn’t get you in the mood for Thanksgiving, we don’t know what will.

Dear Students,

They cluck, they flail, they fold their necks back to catch the rain
and drown—meleagris gallopavo is, in Ben Franklin’s opinion, more
American than the bald eagle. In its domesticated version, however,
it exhibits a diminished intellectual capacity equaled only by members
of Congress. Perhaps that is why the bird is so thoroughly American.

Whether you want to or not, you must this festive Thursday consume the
tasteless treat, whose cardboard like texture is renowned around the
globe. In order for you to steel yourself for this culinary trial,
you will need to dedicate time this evening to meditate, fast, and, if
necessary, flagellate yourself with a drumstick. May the loving aura
of the Cosmic Turkey embrace you tomorrow and for many years to come.
Have the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays!

Peter J. Awn

Dean

Columbia University School of General Studies

It really will be this deserted, so you might as well.

Thanksgiving is almost here! For many returning home, it means seeing extended family, stuffing themselves with food, and football. For others, it involves breaking up with their significant other and/or Black Friday shopping. But, if you’re still stuck on campus for the next four days, fear not. Your friends (and Dining) may have abandoned you, but there’s still plenty to eat and lots of opportunities for service and fun that don’t involve heading past 110th downtown.

Thanksgiving Volunteer Opportunity

When: Thursday, November 24^th, 9 am-all day

Where: John Jay kitchen (John Jay basement)

Annually, Dining Services shares the John Jay kitchen with a member of the community, Sister Mary, who relies on volunteers to prepare and serve food to homeless in our community. Assistance is needed with preparation and delivery of food within the neighborhood. Interested- head down to the John Jay kitchen, ask for Sister Mary, and let her know you’d like to help.

More information about Sister Mary: Sister Mary is the founding member and chair of the board of YES!Solutions, Inc. in New York City, a grassroots neighborhood organization that brings temporary relief to homeless, immigrant, impoverished, aging, and seriously ill members of neighborhoods in all five boroughs. She is a board member and corporate secretary of Boys Hope Girls Hope of New York, Inc., an international residential educational program for young people whose needs and safety can no longer be assured in their own homes. She serves on the board of Sports Angels, Inc. to bring sports celebrities and sports lovers together to support children in need. Read more…

Procrastinator? No problem. Join Matt Powell, Bwog’s resident chef, for a last minute lesson in Thanksgiving entrées.

Disclaimer: Yours might not look like this.

Tomorrow is the biggest food holiday of the year—a day devoted completely to feasting and drinking and being merry! It’s the only day that almost everyone forgoes any restrictions and pigs out, to the brink of explosion.

As a college student still on campus, I won’t be cooking for a large crowd, just a few close friends. We’re chickening-out (quite literally). Yes, we have forsaken the sacred Thanksgiving turkey for the more manageable chicken. But that doesn’t mean that you have to! Most turkeys come in 10 pounds and up, quite too large for a small group. However, creating a seasonal turkey feast is not out of reach!

Cider-Brined Turkey Breast

This is the method that my friends and I are using for our chicken. Inspired by a recipe from Bon Appétit magazine, I created this recipe.

Serves 4-6

Ingredients:

• 2 boneless turkey breasts, 3-4 lbs. each
• 1/2 qt. of warm water
• 3/4 C kosher salt
• ½ C brown sugar
• 1 qt. of apple cider
• 1 handful of peppercorns
• 6 star anise
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 6 slices of ginger root
• 6 smashed garlic cloves
• 6 green onions, chopped, white and light green parts only
• Butter (about 2 tbsp.)
• 2 tbsp. Olive oil
• 1 C dry white wine

Read Matt’s recipe after the jump!

Thanksgiving—it’s on Thursday! And of course, our favorite Morningside Heights establishments are quite cognizant of this fact. Window turkeys and seasonal flavors abound, and we’ve rounded them up for your viewing pleasure. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

They like turkey, too

Though your peers’ talk of travel plans and turkey dinners may have you in a homesick slump, there are ways for you to get your fill of Thanksgiving goodness without even going south of 110th Street.

In Lerner’s Broadway Room from 6 to 7:30 pm this evening, Bhakti Club and Columbia Students for Animal Protection will be hosting a free, vegan Thanksgiving dinner. We’re told they’ll be serving breaded seitan nuggets, BBQ baked tofu, a glazed root veggie roast, cumin mashed potatoes, vegan gravy, a carrot and golden beet salad with cilantro-mint dressing, and a pear and cranberry green salad with raspberry vinaigrette. Nomz!

For Thanksgiving Day meal options, the Office of Residential Programs has got your back. All Columbia students staying in NY for the break are invited to attend a “traditional” Thanksgiving Dinner in Wien Lounge from 4 to 5:30. The menu will feature all the classics: turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, roasted vegetables, candied yams, roasted potatoes, assorted holiday pies and beverages. If the thought of these edibles tickles your fancy, make sure to RSVP by 3 pm today. Seats are limited to 100 attendees, so be quick about it! Email Asha Bartley if the pesky Sundial calendar system gives ya any trouble.

And last, but certainly not least, SIP (of all places!) will be holding an all-day, all-night Potluck Thanksgiving event. In keeping with its six-year tradition of free turkey, they’ll be serving dinner with all the trimmings to anyone who shows up, though they do encourage food contributions of any kind.

If you’re having a free Thanksgiving event that you’d like other Columbia students to attend, let us know in the comments!

Thanksgiving at the Trolls from Flickr/martha_chapa95

A New York resident was arrested yesterday and charged with planning to build and detonate bombs across the city. (NYTimes)

They squabbled and squawked, but the congressional supercommittee charged with resolving the debt crisis just couldn’t do it. Even after they asked for an extension from their UWriting Professor President. (Bloomberg)

Occypy Wall Street, after being forced out of Zucotti Park last week, began a 24 hour “occupation” of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s house yesterday, which amounted to a lot of drum banging on the Upper East Side. (NY Daily News)

NASCAR fans booed Michelle Obama when she stood alongside a military veteran to announce the beginning of a Florida race. (Slate)

Ever feel like your dessert just isn’t as fun as it could be? Inject a little rowdiness with the help of these two women, who discovered the secret to making alcoholic ice cream. (Gizmodo)

There’s no better holiday tradition than causing mild family chaos/physical harm with the annual Thanksgiving touch football game, and the WSJ has a helpful list of the 32(!) rules you should memorize as you start practicing this week.

Thanksgiving can sometimes leave you with a stomach full of joy, but other times it can leave you wishing you were back at school. Bwog prepares you for the latter scenario in this week’s installment of Saturday Morning Cartoons. Brace yourselves readers, for the Thanksgiving from hell. Daryl Seitchik, BC ’12, showcases her gifted hand for elaborate drawing, as her demented caricatures jump off of the page in her holiday-themed cartoon, “Thanks”.

For the past four years, the good people at Morton Williams have printed “Welcome Class of 2011″ on the bottom of their receipts. You may have graduated, Class of 2011, but we promise you’ll always be welcomed back.

From senior wisdoms and graduation speeches to inspirational bottle caps and your old man’s sage words, it seems everyone’s trying to offer their counsel. In the spirit of all this unsolicited advice, Bwog leaves you with our own humble tip before we escape for the summer. We like to think of Bwog as a fun-house mirror to the madness, capturing Columbia’s craziness. You’re all such admirably driven people, but we hope you maintain that mirror so you don’t lose track of life’s little delights. All snark aside, get out of your own head once and a while, and peer through the world’s kaleidoscope of perspectives.

And if you’re in for a good cry, recent wise grad, Rajib Mitra, posted a nostalgic Tearjerkers mixtape full of weepy anthems.

So long, folks. It’s been real.

TANKS!

The Bwog staff did what we always do and compiled a list of things we are thankful for. Feel free to leave yours in the comments.

Columbia, have an absolutely lovely Thanksgiving. We are so very, truly thankful to you for reading this website and for lots of other things.

Randos

• PDF versions of textbooks
• The idea of going abroad
• Firm handshakes
• Being of the Harry Potter generation
• The mysterious sliding window between RotiRoll and Suite
• Free hot water everywhere sans embittered glances
• Palindromes
• Actually going downtown when you say you will
• The Canon 5D
• Walking about the campus on a sunny day and feeling fresh
• Riding the lion outside Dodge
• Having just enough pencil lead to finish an exam
• Having exactly $0.00 left on a Metrocard
• Things overheard through Wien’s thin walls
• Clothespins
• Overly abbreviated text messages from my parents
• The beautiful beautiful architecture strewn across (most of) campus
• NBA League Pass
• Watching the sun rise for non work-related reason
• Getting there just in time
• Those moments when you stop procrastinating
• Bananagrams
• Adhesive lint rollers
• The cute guys who work at Book Culture
• Bikes
• The car rental age in New York being 18

Places

• Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
• New Jersey
• The commuter lounge in the Diana
• The Lehman 2nd floor printer- it has never been broken when I needed it. Ever.
• New Hampshire
• The Notary Public at Citibank
• The ATM in Lerner

Facts

• Planning to read on Low Steps, never actually reading on Low Steps
• This year not being Sophomore year
• Realizing that a career isn’t the only thing in life
• Free New York Times
• Magenta suede in the Diana
• Having a three-day weekend every weekend
• Exchanging awkward, enduring smiles with people I sort of know from class
• Wearing other people’s sweaters and thinking about them
• The crosswalk light to cross Broadway turning green (white) just as you reach ir
• No credit card minimum at Morton Williams
• Fridays at Potluck
• The banter at Milano
• The fact that things are open past 9PM (a true city luxury)
• Solid high-fives
• Seeing movies with old people at Lincoln Plaza
• The fact that Fayerweather smells like condensed soup
• Realizing you know almost everyone in your prospective major

Loved Ones

• Parents
• My Dad for offering to call to wake me up for my 6:00 AM flight home (Oh Dad, don’t you know I just won’t sleep?)
• People on the subway who are so thoroughly engaged in the music on their iPod that they sing and dance to it as if no one else was around
• Friends whose parents send them great care packages (with peanut butter fudge)
• Anthony Randolph + our raggedy New York Knicks
• Everyone who works at Housing for dancing with me during Room Selection and being generally lovely people
• Friends who live off-campus
• My friends’ signature dance moves
• Friends that straight live in Butler Cafe
• The other kid in Butler at 3am
• Seeing your friends from home and talking about the same old useless things
• Raj’s smiles (Butler Cafe)
• Kia’s sass (Cafe 212)
• Ricky Martin
• Hunter Parrish
• Sir Mike of Carman
• The guy who always presses the open and close elevator buttons to make crowded Mudd elevator rides faster
• Suitemates
• My neurotic dog
• My corporate finance problem set team all of whom are awesome
• The Westside Staff – props to Andrew and Luis!
• My neurotic family
• Asian tourists who treat our campus like a real New York landmark
• Security guards that keep pictures of their girlfriends/wives/families on their desks while they work
• People taking pictures of Columbia
• People taking pictures of people taking pictures of Columbia
• Visitors
• New friends
• The people who go insane at dubstep shows
• The kitchen power couple
• The Hewitt dining staff—the sassier the better!
• Squirrel Man
• Friends with rich parents
• Bella Ayalof (the woman who works at Cafe Nana)’s Israeli accent
• Architecture majors: for perspective
• Freshmen: for perspective
• All of the friends who do more for me than I ever could have asked for, the most amazing people I could ever fathom Read more…

Last year, Mark Hay cooked a turducken in a McBain kitchen and fed it to to the basketball team. Never to be outdone, Matthew Schantz made a Tofucken—a vegetarian turducken—in Nussbaum this week. He lived to tell the tale—and it wasn’t half bad, either.
Thanksgiving is a sad time for us vegetarians. No matter how much mashed potatoes or asparagus we heap onto our plates, we cannot forget the turkey’s absence. But this Saturday, instead of staring into the turkeyless void and having it stare back at me, I chose to fill the void—with Tofucken.

Tofucken is the vegetarian equivalent to the Turducken. Instead of ramming a duck into a chicken into a turkey, I placed down a bed of mock-meat, tethered several mysterious mock-meats together, and stuffed them with more mock-meat.

I had no idea where to start. My culinary experience is limited to cooking omelettes and sauteing things to put into omelettes. The only mock-meats I have ever cooked are veggie burgers in the microwave. Luckily, there are recipes for Tofucken. I followed this one, which called for one Tofucken, three stuffings, and a gravy. Due to time and skill constraints, I decided to cook only Tofucken and the mock-sausage stuffing. My goal was to pile as much fake meat as I could into one metal pan.

My Tofucken adventure began with a trip to May Wah Healthy Vegetarian, a small store in Chinatown specializing in imitation-meats. They carry everything from the standards (chicken, turkey, duck) to veggie versions of the very exotic (BBQ gizzard). I am almost certain May Wah sold nothing but fake meats. As the recipe instructed, I purchased 6 packages of mock-meats: 2 chicken, 2 duck, turkey, and sausage. I also picked up several less exciting foods from the grocery store for the stuffing.

A wall of “meat” at May Wah

Gang’s all here!

Read more…

You know how on Thanksgiving Day, every year there are reruns? Well Bwog can see the greatness in Charlie Brown and so today we’re rerunning some Thanksgiving posts of years past.

In case yours is the misfortune/relief to be in Morningside Heights for Thanksgiving, turkey sandwiches abound.

Or, should you be hankering for fellowship as well as a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey, Bwog can help you with that.

And, with break up weekend very much a thing and very much here, there will be a shoulder to cry on, even if Bwog is “supposed to be snarky and cynical.”

Image via Wikimedia

If you're like Weezy, you can take a space shuttle home!

The holidays in New York are the most wonderful time of the year… so long as you live in New York. For the rest of us, it entails a desperate odyssey to get out of the city in order to see our friends and families. There are lots of ways to get out in one piece. Bwog’s resourceful Peter Sterne tells you how.

Trains

If you’ve shrewdly decided to live close to Columbia, then you should be able to take the train home.

Those traveling to Westchester or southern Connecticut on Metro-North should make sure to check the holiday schedule here and you should wish you had the foresight to buy a ticket online. If you (like this Bwogger) have yet to buy a ticket, make sure to get to Grand Central at least an hour or two early since the lines in front of the ticket machines will be ridiculous. Alternatively, you could take the M60 to 125th station, which should have shorter lines at the ticket machines. But remember that if you catch the train at 125th, you’ll be lucky if there’s standing room, let alone a seat, on the train. Read more…