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You Deserve Closure

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 9 Comments

Tuesday-Thursday classes for Fall 2011 are done forever. They are in the past. Depending on what you study/believe, the past, and those classes, might not strictly exist anymore. Passing over that—and any of the impending existential crises that tend to come a’ knockin’ late Thursday night—you should tell us the notable things your professors said to […]

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LectureHop: Trilling Fucking Matters, Guys

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 11 Comments

Last night there were lots of plastic chairs in Lerner 505, and microphones, a table, a camera, and, of course, “light refreshments.” That can only mean one thing—a lecture! Moderated by Samuel Schube, CC ’12, Senior Editor of The Current, the talk featured Adam Kirsch, TNR bro and author of Why Trilling Matters, and Mark […]

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Drinking with Bwog: The All-Nighter

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 9 Comments

Every week your friends at the Columbia Bartending Association outfit you with a topical, alcoholic accouterment. Wrestling with Rousseau this weekend on that CC paper? Wrestle drunk! It’s my favorite time of year again. I wish I was basking in the Christmas and New Year’s spirit already, but one last battle remains before the holidays: finals. Can’t […]

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Overheard: Red He(a)rring

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 2 Comments

Not everything you see is what it seems. Take note of this harrowing tale, recently overheard. Girl: This one time I was in the shampoo aisle at CVS and I thought this lady was using Bluetooth, but she really had a piece of string taped to her ear. Not a bluetooth via wikimedia.

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Coatsworth and Kasdin Reassure Columbia Students

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 13 Comments

Interim Provost John Coatsworth and Senior Executive Vice President Robert Kasdin sent an email a moment ago “to provide basic guidance in recognizing and responding to behavioral warning signs for potential threats to community safety.” Though the incident is not mentioned explicitly, one cannot help but be reminded of the tragic shooting that occurred earlier […]

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Class of 2016 ED Decisions Sent

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 54 Comments

This afternoon the Columbia Undergraduate Admissions performed their ritual early decision annoucement send off. Belting “Roar, Lion, Roar”, the crew carried the decisions from Hamilton to the awaiting FedEx truck on College Walk. Now we have only to wait until some intrepid pre-frosh founds the Columbia Class of 2016 facebook group and a new generation of […]

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Getting to Know: Molly Hatfield, Distributor of Dank Pines

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 1 Comments

In this edition of Getting to Know, Connoisseur of Conifers Alex Enyon stopped to chat with the woman who runs the Christmas tree stand on Broadway between 111th and 112th. See anyone around campus you’d like to know about? Tell us! Molly Hatfield has Christmas in her blood. The cheerful mother of two grew up around her father’s Christmas tree stand, […]

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Free Food, Images

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 2 Comments

Nab a midday pick-me-up of vitamin C and icing— The Columbia University Photography Society is giving out free cupcakes and clementines now until 3 pm on the Lerner Ramps to promote their new exhibition, titled “12+12.” In an email, they describe the new project: Please join us Thursday, December 8th between 12 and 3pm on the Lerner […]

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BunsenBwog: Whatever Edition

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 0 Comments

When they aren’t whispering stories in our ear, Professors enjoy cooking up knowledge in the lab. In this weekly feature, Propugnator Scientiae Zach Kagan gives the low-down on what scientists at Columbia have been up to. In a new experiment neutrinos are detected to be still traveling faster than the speed of light. That’s right, the not-sure-if-trolling […]

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By the Numbers: Football and Faculty

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 24 Comments

UPDATE: Athletics has confirmed that Pete Mangurian will coach Columbia football next year. He has an impressive track record at Cornell, Stanford, LSU and with the NFL. Notoriously un well-versed in sports, we were intrigued by the financial details of Columbia’s football team, detailed yesterday in the Times: The head coach of the football team […]

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Sisterhood of the Vanishing Pants

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 14 Comments

Finals approach, and the fun continues. Sometimes Times New Roman just isn’t enough:

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Bwoglines: Gripes Edition

By Bwog Staff on Dec 08, 2011 3 Comments

Spec provides further context for the growing dissatisfaction with Dean Peña-Mora. (Spec) Our own faculty woes seem little in light of yesterday’s verdict that Rod Blagojevich, former governor of Illinois, will serve to 14 years in prison for 18 counts of federal corruption. (Reuters) Columbia’s Manhattanville campus has forced the owner of a West Harlem Cuban restaurant to close shop for the past 18 […]

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Philolexian Society Presents: 30th Annual Joyce Kilmer (Memorial) Bad Poetry Contest

Betsy Ladyzhets 3

"i cannot be milked" is a beautiful line of literature
at this point you might be thinking "bwog is WAY too invested in hamilton" but we swear it just keeps popping up it's not us it's columbia
hamilton wrote.... THE OTHER 21
if you got the room where it happens reference we love you very much
only god can make a tree??? okay well can god MOVE a tree
philolexian society
shout out to maggie the magnolia
what's up with all these advertisements damn it is nowhere safe from america's corporate monster

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Bwoglines: “Finally, More Good News!” Edition

Bwog Staff 0

bwoglines
can we talk about how the french automatically equate normal living to the consumption of food
country goals
once again bwog exposes this world for the capitalist machine it truly is
see how much we care for the columbia population? we're like your parents we just want to see you happy
there are moments where the words don't reach there is suffering too terrible to name
WATCH JESSICA JONES WE PROMISE IT'LL BE WORTH YOUR WEEKEND (AND YOUR GRADES)
when have we failed you with recommendations? last time was the ben carson rap and honestly that was incredible
will donald trump just leave us alone

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“Excellently Ignorant”: Bwog Reviews KCST’s Twelfth Night

Bwog Staff 0

“be not afraid of greatness” [malvolio says about his yellow knee sock-clad calves]
“he hath been most notoriously abused” same
“to be up late is to be up late” [actor falls over] - very relatable to the college experience
even if you don’t see this show try to get a copy of the program they’re hilarious
if you want to understand duke orsino look up that one photoset on tumblr that interprets disney’s mulan as shang having an extensive gay crisis
kcst
note to whoever made the program: it’s Bwog not BWOG
shakespeare
so much homo only for it to end hetero
william shakespeare: king of dick jokes
william shakespeare: like a frat guy only critically acclaimed
william shakespeare: literary genius in the streets animal in the sheets

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Watching A Tree For Hours Won’t Make You Feel Like Thoreau

Maddie Stearn 0

"excuse me but what exactly is happening to that tree" as if anyone can ever truly know
if those workers dropped the tree they would have had to fight all of barnard. plus barnard's parents grandparents and alums
it was a very emotional day for barnard
maggie knows what she's about
maggie the magnolia
the concern about maggie is real
today is maggie day on bwog love it or leaf
who knew moving a tree would be so hard

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Columbia Professors Get Wedlocked

Ross Chapman 0

'the perils of marriage equality' makes it sound like marriage equality is hiding out in the woods somewhere waiting to jump on us with an axe
hide your wife/husband/significant other
if it is lurking in the woods we're probably safe at columbia since we have so few trees
lecturehop
marriage equality is coming to get you
panelhop

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#TBT: The Deep Roots Of Barnard’s Magnolia Tree

Mia Lindheimer 0

#tbt
bwog loves maggie
everyone loves maggie
she's a strong independent tree who don't need no man
was barnard really barnard before maggie arrived?
where would we be without our favorite tree?

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If You Want To Decrease Your Stress In A Class, Your Day Is Today

Bwog Staff 2

academic calendar
barnard lets you use classes you're taking p/d/f/ for nine ways requirements!!
go barnard! 4 for you barnard!
legitimized slacking off is a good kind of slacking off
thanks columbia for taking away our stress in the little tiny ways
will your professor be disappointed in you for p/d/f-ing their class? probably not. they won't know about it
wish we could take every class p/d/f

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Bwoglines: It’s Gonna Be Okay Edition

Bwog Staff 0

are there any problems that can't be solved by a baby panda tbh
bwog watches a lot of netflix possibly too much
bwoglines
just put a baby panda in the same room as a bunch of world leaders. they'll be compelled to compromise on at least something
like if you remember david tennant in doctor who
what is ben carson's campaign team doing? how do they not know where ct is? (then again does anyone not from ct know where ct is?)

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