It was a pretty dark night for everyone. Well, at least for all these people. Some early risers (or never-actually-went-to-sleep-ers) were greeted with images of the aftermath this morning, Below, glimpses of some secrets Butler didn’t hide fast enough from the light of day.

Live from Ruggles, a tipster reports overhearing the following coming from somewhere in the shaft: A few isolated and disjointed shrieks from maybe three voices, and then, “IT’S NOT PRIMAL SCREAM YOU STUPID FUCK!” Update (Friday, 11:30 am): Our correspondent, who has not moved since submitting this tip last night, reports that the exact same […]

Some students in a Butler study room, have gone mad, putting their hope of safety in a wooden/paper wall. Spoiler alert: Athenian glory is only temporary.

Think your roommate’s bad? You may be down a stapler and up a few passive-aggressive handwritten notes, but it’s nothing compared to the adversity that some of our classmates apparently face in their dorm rooms each and every day. A concerned tipster reports overhearing the following roommate complaint, in a Starbucks: “I wish I could […]

At Columbia, students are taught to challenge each other’s ideas and deeply evaluate the validity of their own beliefs and thoughts. That being said, we can’t really think of anyone who would disagree with the statement below, found in Hamilton 707. Speaking of sex finals, you may have noticed by our new poll that we’re […]

You’ve seen it before, and you’ll see it again: an elusive group of Columbians start to go a liiiiittle bit crazy during finals season. At this point, we’re pretty sure everyone’s just trying to comply with tradition. In any case, it makes for some quality overseens. The latest chapter, for your procrastinating pleasure:

Bwog doesn’t always poop in Butler… …But when it does, it sits on a sapling’s worth of toilet paper.

NoCo library cried out in the night, begging for justice—a menacing library worker was locking doors and shunning innocent students. One witness, who tipped this whole story to Bwog, took it upon himself to answer his library’s call; he wrote a passive agressive note. Vigilante’s slightly incoherent tip: After seeing [the library worker] lecture and close and lock […]

Finals approach, and the fun continues. Sometimes Times New Roman just isn’t enough:

Last night, Bwog readers overheard two magnificent examples of modest, Ivy League discourse. First, an anonymous artist’s failed attempt at translating peek-a-boo into performance art: Overheard: ”How much could you see? Like, could you see my vagina? I’m not a slut! I’m endearing, right?” Capital! And now for a little demonstration in modern chivalry: guy1: […]

According to our Science of Psych textbook, regression is a defense mechanism leading to the “reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of development rather than handling unacceptable impulses in a more adult way” (okay, so we Wikipedia’d it—you know you never opened your textbook, either). In these troubled, pre-finals times, sometimes a good round […]

And so it begins. With the final weeks of class upon us, we’re less than a month away from the time of great mayhem and malnourishment that is finals at Columbia (also the most festive and happy time of the year for the world beyond the bubble). Thus, we present our first sightings of the […]

We all have a type. And no, we don’t mean the one you’ll spend most of Heights happy hour trying to stake out—we mean the Butler kind. Join an aggravated Alexandra Svokos as she reports live, from the line at Butler’s Security desk.  She knows it’s in there, somewhere. In her right hand is an […]

Was it a man desperately trying to assert his diminishing virility by grand public spectacle? Was it a woman whose deep-seated resentment manifests itself with obsessive depictions of the enemy? Was it an inebriated freshman who wanted to do something to show his new friends that he could be cool too, brah? We’ll probably never […]