If you’re a rising junior or sophomore and had a tough time in the lottery but consoled yourself by thinking of how easy it’ll be as a rising senior think the fuck again.

When will it end when will it end when will it end when will it end when will it end when will it end when will it end.

It’s a simple ask, really. Sorry not sorry, A names.

Day two of housing selection is here, so you better figure out where you want to live. Today’s review is Harmony, but if you aren’t much of a walker, take a look at the reviews we’ve already posted. Location: 544 W. 110 St, between Amsterdam and Broadway Nearby dorms: Near the College Residence (Barnard, with some Columbia students) […]

A Broadway view of Primal Scream: And click for a recording of a few brave souls who screamed in Butler 403: primalscream. Lest we forget a year ago right now: Good luck this week, friends! We can do it.

Tipster Danielle Benson sent us a photo of this sign, found in the John Jay elevator. Apparently, certain elevator patrons have been removing light bulbs from the ceiling and smashing them on the ground. Clearly, the John Jay community is now speaking out against this gross violation of elevator etiquette. If smashing light bulbs was […]

Behold your dorm room. It’s—It’s—It’s—nice?? Don’t be too disappointed. You’ll stain it too and make it your own. (Fun fact: JJ11 has a tainted legacy. One past resident drunkenly shat on the floor.) Anywho, college may be your first time living on your own, so you probably have some questions. We’re here to help. In […]

This dude was spotted studying in the Carman service elevator the other day, sitting on his dorm chair stolen lounge chair (that’ll land you in Columbia prison, son) under an unplugged desklamp and with his trusty Nalgene at his side. Bwog gives up.

The 5th Annual Primal Scream/Pillow Fight will commence at 11:55 tonight. This year, there will be a twist. Two Facebook groups were started to advertise the Pillow Fight, one encouraging its army to meet in front of Butler, the other to meet at the Sundial. Instead of merging, the creators (Lisa Mack and Sue Yang, […]

Sike about these recipes being for your health, but it’s finals so you’re excused from all your responsibilities as a human being for about 10 days. A few days ago, we asked to you to send us your desperate-times recipes. Below, we compile your submissions, some of which sound more delicious than others, all of […]

PrezBo bailed on his usual Freedom of Speech class, but worry not: plans are in the works for a “Global Free Press” substitute. (Spec) Will anti-Ivy sentiment influence Obama’s next Supreme Court nomination? Debate! (HuffPo) We might be stressed out, but the Daily Beast thinks we have a bit of fun, too–CU’s number 53 in […]

According to The Daily Beast’s recent list of 50 Most Stressful Colleges in America, Columbia comes in second in the nation, behind only Stanford. They compiled their list based on five school qualities (weight; Columbia’s stats): cost (35%; $51k), competitiveness (35%; 8th), acceptance rate (10%; 10%), engineering (10%; 18th), and crime (10%; 12th). While we […]

AMSA is set up on the Steps, giving out free massages. Passer-bys are also encouraged to take a bat or rock and smash a cardboard box or balloons that read “I get 12 hours of sleep a night” or “I know exactly what I’m doing this summer.” Genius! Thank heavens for you, brave pre-meds. There […]

We know that, judging by the crowds at Butler far into Friday and Saturday evening this weekend, midterms week has been in earnest for many of you, and that some of you have been in midterm-induced struggles-ville since last week. The powers that be, familiar as always with the realities of undergraduate life, have scheduled […]

Before many of us have taken our first midterm, SSOL throws us yet another curveball: finals schedules are up! You can now peruse your exam schedule online and start making plans for a quick escape from Morningside Heights into summer vacation. Finals go from May 8 to May 15. Although the weather may make you […]