Exactly 1 year ago today, the Class of 2020’s GroupMe was exposed to be just plain weird. Well, we’re back again with the Class of 2021’s GroupMe. 

“We can’t wait for all those lit Carman Parties!” 

A class of risk-takers and badasses

And of course, they can’t forget to shit on Cornell

We get it, you smoke weed

…and wake the echoes of the Hudson Valley!

Screenshots via Bwog Staff

Pretty

Last night in the Roone Auditorium, Orchesis performed Work Work Work Work Worchesis, a performance that lead to an “incredibly diverse and enjoyable night of art.” Bwogger Asya Sagnak reviews the performance, which will take place again tonight at 9 pm in the Roone Auditorium. 

When I first found out about Orchesis being the largest performing arts group at Columbia, I made two big assumptions about its semesterly performance. Firstly, I expected to see an overarching spirit of inclusivity and joy. Secondly, I expected to see the – though very understandable – chaos and disorganization that usually seems to accompany student led showcases with a huge number of performers.

I was right in one assumption only – the former. Featuring over 120 dancers from different backgrounds and levels of experience, a committed executive team, and a mission to cast everyone who auditions, Orchesis is a testament to the unity of dance. Titled Work Work Work Work Worchesis – punny titles seem to be a tradition for the group – last night’s performance proved that inclusivity does not have to sacrifice quality, and can lead to an incredibly diverse and enjoyable night of art.

More on the performance after the jump

You leaving John Jay with housing

‘Tis the final day! We’ve been through a lot in the cage, but now it’s almost over. We have the last half of sophomores, and we’re going to see a lot of people dropping to online. Stick with us today as we see even McBain doubles become high-demand items.

As on previous days, you can watch the action with our liveblog and running housing tallies.

Frogs Forever via Alexas

While this school might be made up completely of alcoholics, they’re mostly of a certain kind — a bar-hopping, EC-hopping, nocturnal kind. As such, Bwog has compiled some advice for you as you plunge into the unknown — a pregame-in-the-morning-and-continue-to-drink-into-oblivion-while-listening-to-artists-you-don’t-really-know type of unknown.

Tonight:

• Don’t go out. You’re going to want to feel rested tomorrow when you wake up at 8 A.M. to start drinking.
• Put your jell-o shots and vodka gummies in the fridge to set overnight. A pregame favorite, and good for tricking yourself into thinking you’re not actually taking a shot at 10 in the morning.
• Try to get some work done. You will absolutely be too hungover to do that econ pset on Sunday.
• Listen to the performers’ music. You’re going to want to be able to drunkenly sing along. Luckily, we made a playlist for you:

How about tomorrow?

You ft. D.R.A.M., Mykki Blanco, and Alunageorge

Celebrities are great. Sex is great. Sex with celebrities, it stands to reason, must be even greater. When Bacchanal comes to campus, you’ll have your chance to follow in some famous footsteps by bedding one of the event’s musical headliners. In order to help you have a more quintessential college experience than anyone else, we’ve created a guide to help you get it on with a B-list celebrity, just like you’ve always dreamed.

Choose Your Target

A good number of musicians are making their way to Columbia. Much like Rae Sremmurd last year, AlunaGeorge is a two-person act, so you can’t really say you slept with AlunaGeorge (unless you convince them into a three-way). And opening up for the headliners are Almand and THOU SHALT NOT Entertainment, the latter of which is made up of three Columbia students. But you can get with Columbians any day, and let’s assume you want to land a headliner. Joining the minimalist/synth-pop duo AlunaGeorge, who have toured alongside Sia, are D.R.A.M., a Best Rap Performance Grammy nominee with a Billboard top 5 hit under his belt; and Mykki Blanco, a queer transgender rapper and activist who performs what Pitchfork calls “high-concept hip-hop, a swerve from the brusque, heterosexualization of nearly all mainstream rap.” If one of those catches your fancy, congratulations! If not, take a listen to some music, read some interviews, and make your pick, or resign yourself to just sleep with the first headliner you can get your hands on.

What next?

Long hallways, easy to get lost…

Welcome to Furnald Hall, the hotel of campus! Furnald is quiet and beautiful, like a virgin swan. It’s a great option for first-years and sophomores who like to read in their room. Check it out!

Location: 2940 Broadway; inside main campus, between Lerner and Pulitzer

Nearby dorms: Carman, John Jay, Hartley, Wallach

Stores and restaurants: Morton Williams, Starbucks, International, Sweetgreen, M2M

Cost: $8,166/year for first years, standardized to $9,292/year for sophomores

Amenities:

• Bathrooms: Shared on each floor. 1-2 floors may be coed, 3rd floor and up are separate for men and women—however, each floor can also decide for the restrooms on that floor to be gender neutral. Each has three toilet stalls and three shower stalls.
• AC/Heat: both!
• Kitchen/Lounge: Lounge with kitchen and cable TV on every floor, huge gorgeous lounge on the main floor.
• Laundry: Free in the basement
• Computers/Printers: computer lab with printers on main floor
• Gym: nope.
• Intra-transportation: two elevators! and stairs, of course.
• Wifi: Yes.
• Hardwood/Carpet: Carpet in the halls, hardwood in the rooms.
• Facilities: Kitchens and bathrooms cleaned every weekday. Trash is the responsibility of the resident.
• Bonus: I mean, have you seen the lobby?

What more of this beautifully unattainable dorm for sophomores?

Me trying to pull a Chris Christie from my flesh prison

Happening in the world: In Lucknow, India, a 10 to 12-year old girl was found living with a band of monkeys. The police are still trying to identify the girl and her parents. (Boston Globe)

Happening in B.A. (Big Apple): Chris Christie, infamous NJ governor, can run, but he can’t hide. Taking a brief excursion after the slight derailment of a New Jersey Transit train on Monday, Chris Christie was called the f*** out by many riders pissed off from missing hours of work and wages. (New York Times)

Happening on campus: Check out RACE | VIOLENCE | JUSTICE: THE NEED FOR NARRATIVE, A Basic Narrative Medicine Workshop, which is happening all day in the Hammer Health Sciences Center.

Overheard: “Why do you have a lighter?” “I like incense.”

Health goth tip of the day: Wearing sunscreen on your face decreases the risk of skin cancer, reduces blotchiness, and slows down aging. Try it!

Vase fragments via The Met