Filed under: Meh.

The semesterly tradition of filling Butler 209 to capacity happened last night, and for all those who missed out on the swampy experience (the B.O. levels rivaled Butler 409) we present a short collection of thoughts, observations, and Instagram-y photos cobbled together at a surprisingly empty 1020 (thank you Lit Hum and CC finals!).  The […]

Simultaneous fire alarms in Butler, Lerner, John Jay, Hartley, and Wallach. Tipster’s report: Around 6:05, the fire alarm went off in Butler. I relocated to Wallach lounge to continue working, when the fire alarm went off again at 6:15. There was all this shouting in the lobby and a girl sobbing. Four security officers had […]

As the dark nights of our collective souls draw nearer, it would seem that our classmates have already begun to lose it. Exhibit A:

According to several tipsters, hordes of prospective Columbians—whom our super scientific guestimations put somewhere between 4 and 6 years old—have been spotted amassing on and around Low steps, and in front of Butler. They’re tiny. They’re adorable. Pink puffer jackets abound. One such youngster was overheard making an astute observation outside Butler: “Every kind of […]

For some people, today is only about one thing– the Super Bowl. (ESPN) For others, it’s not so much about the game as it is about the halftime show, or maybe the drunk food. (MTV, Gawker) If Madonna and nachos have no allure, you could always head to the library. But be warned–even once you’re […]

Some students in a Butler study room, have gone mad, putting their hope of safety in a wooden/paper wall. Spoiler alert: Athenian glory is only temporary.

A short while ago, a tall, well-dressed, middle-aged man strolled into Butler and started handing out candy canes to disheveled students. Grinning and making polite conversation, he proceeded confidently from the café to the third floor. Bemused bookworms naturally sent a flurry of tips, having cottoned on to the fact that this was not another […]

It’s finals week and you know what that means. We’ve lampooned the inanity of Butler before, but this year we’ve adapted Butler Bingo around those closest (literally) to you: Butler Archetypes. Here’s how to play: sit in Butler. Look at the game board. Scroll over each square to read its description. Look around you. When […]

You’ve seen it before, and you’ll see it again: an elusive group of Columbians start to go a liiiiittle bit crazy during finals season. At this point, we’re pretty sure everyone’s just trying to comply with tradition. In any case, it makes for some quality overseens. The latest chapter, for your procrastinating pleasure:

The Butler gods have spoken. Starting next Tuesday, this hallowed building’s fifth and sixth floors will be open 24/7, thereby inviting 170 more students to join their sleepless comrades on Milstein floors two, three, and four. But remember friends, this is a trial run, so if you really want more 24-hour space in Butler, you’ve […]

It’s finals season—time to get serious. But not for these guys. Give Penis Pundit Matt Schantz a casual head nod and maybe decide to stay for a while as he crafts a masterful portrait of those Butler Archetypes who just can’t seem to stop dicking around.  They’ll come bearing a few muffled grunts, perhaps a […]

With less than two weeks of classes left, chances are you’ve found yourself Butler-bound, day after day. And that elite species of Blue Java-loving Stacks inhabitants—known to the more general public as the Butler Archetypes—are by your side the whole time. Rest your head on Conor Skelding’s very soft shoulder as he reminds you why that’s […]

Louis XIV may have sported some pretty high stilettos (thanks for the cocktail party fodder, Core Curriculum), but at least he had the courtesy not to stomp around the Ref Room. Heel Hater Meriam Raouf profiles that Butler Archetype whose sharp clicks down the marble hallway are turning your hair gray.  It’s Sunday night. You’ve […]

Welcome back from Thanksgiving Break—if you were one of the fortunate Columbians who left campus, that is. If you weren’t, you probably tried to steer clear of Butler. But these guys didn’t; join hands with Amateur Expert Anthropologist Claire Sabel as she paints a very pretty picture of The Long Weekender.  Unable to return home for the […]