“I have a feeling that we all use a little erotic magic ourselves sometimes, but I’m not going to give mine away.” – Helene Foley, Gender and Sexuality in Ancient Greece, 2013 “I’ve got a feeling.” – will.i.am, Music Hum, 2009 Want your teachers to number among these rhetorical greats of Columbia?  Well today’s your […]

Ahh, classes. Don’t they feel like they were so long ago? Sike, they were only three days ago. Here are some parting gems from your professors as they ushered you out of the nest into the great wide world ahead. “Don’t play the two-handed economist. If someone asks for your opinion, give an opinion! There […]

*Ring Ring* “Yello?” “Hi this is Bwog. We just wanted to ask you if” *Click* “Gah, what a dick.” It is looking to be about that time of year again. Classes are ending, review sessions are happening, and teachers are saying some weird shit. Bwog, of course, wants to hear about it! Be sure to […]

So your classes are over, and all you’ve got left are the memories of the bizarre things your professors said, as well as a pile of notes and readings and a looming final exam. Here are some of those classic closing remarks that Bwog has gathered. Paige West: “[after giving normal concluding remarks] *thinks for a […]

We know you know that classes end soon. But we wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten what that means: closing remarks. Why did the Pharaohs build the pyramids? Why did Dido sing her lament? Why does anyone hold the Guinness World Record for longest fingernails? They all wanted to be remembered. And for that […]

The official last day of classes was yesterday–despite the 5 make-up classes you’re taking this week because of Hurricane Sandy.  Take a deep breath and read the words of professors’ end-of-year nostalgia exasperation. Herbert Sloan, Survey of American Civilization to the Civil War: “Unfortunately, the president during all of this is James Buchanan, who has […]

Yesterday was the final day of classes and with that teachers everywhere did their best to be inspiring and really leave a mark on their students.  You may not remember everything Hegel ever said, but you will remember that one time your teacher said something that completely changed the way you look at the world. […]

Need we say more? We’re doubtful, but will continue nonetheless. Tonight at 8 pm in Hamilton 602, the one and only Eric Foner will be doling out “Words of Wisdom” to the class of 2012 over some Baked By Melissa cupcakes. We can’t help but feel that March 6th is a bit premature for closing remarks, […]

Happy mid-December! Celebrate the end of classes with some pithy phrases your professors say that we call Closing Remarks.  Bruce Robbins, Modern Comparative Fiction: “You don’t have to express yourself. People don’t give a shit, they never have.” Randall Balmer, Evangelicalism: “Thank you so much for being interested and coming to this class. If you […]

Here it is, the last day of classes of the semester. Fun, wasn’t it? We thought so too. As they are wont to do, your professors may end class with a delightful tale, some words of wisdom, or an awkward, abrupt silence. Or if you’re in SEAS, they’ll rush to finish that last example then […]

Tuesday-Thursday classes for Fall 2011 are done forever. They are in the past. Depending on what you study/believe, the past, and those classes, might not strictly exist anymore. Passing over that—and any of the impending existential crises that tend to come a’ knockin’ late Thursday night—you should tell us the notable things your professors said to […]

Congratulations, you made it through a whole semester’s worth of classes! Now all that stands between you and summer vacation is…finals. Procrastinate by checking out all of the ridiculous things professors said before ending class. If you forgot to send one in, or we just foolishly overlooked it, feel free to share it in the […]

It’s the last day of Tuesday/Thursday classes. Before you abandon them forever, let your professors’ wisdom/ejaculations come in through one ear (see right) and onto Bwog. Send your sendoffs to tips@bwog.com, or leave them in the comments. It’s a tradition! P.S. Don’t forget to include the name of the professor and their course. Aural organ […]

“How much of what I’ve told you about myself over the course of this semester do you think is true or valid? Absolutely none of it…”* It’s that time of the year again, when your professors make sardonic, life-changing comments because they are glad to be rid of you and your smartphone and your youthful […]

Tonight’s installment of the Closing Remarks Senior Lecture Series features Columbia’s favorite educator to take bike rides with, Professor Kenneth Jackson. For those who are unfamiliar, Jackson has edited two volumes of a New York City encyclopedia, and teaches a class called History of the City of New York (which you should take before you die-we-mean-graduate!). […]