#joe
Boringside Heights: Before You Go Edition

So you can revel in the anticlimactic glory that is our beloved Morningside, Bwog catches a few last-minute minutia that might have made all the difference to your morning coffee/mental state during this darkest night, finally lifting.

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Ominously black televisions adorn Brownie's once-bare walls

Boringside Heights: Consumerism Edition

The holiday season has hit your wallet hard, and now the bills are coming in. Think you can cut down on your spending? Not with everything Morningside Heights has to offer…

 

 

Overseen Part II: The Mugliest Offense

The NoCo librarians have stuck again! After launching a pun-laden campgain against non-spillproof mugs last week, the intrepid book-minders (there are books in there somewhere, right…?) feel it necessary to now also point out that food is not allowed in the Science and Enginerring Library. Thus, they’ve printed out a picture of a most comely actress and emblazoned her likeness with Comic Sans in a speech bubble—and now they’ve got your full attention. Quick, hide that Robicelli cupcake you paid too much for at Joe!

more mugs

The text below the black-and-white beau reads: "if it is edible, or you didn't bring enough to share, then it is prohibited in the SEL"

While they’re at it, they would also appreciate it if you stopped dumping your trash down the book return. Quantum electrodynamics is confusing enough without coffee spilled all over it.

book return

Even our astute tipster mistook this metallic bin for a waste bin at first glance. Be alert!

 

Cupcake Alert

Eliza Shapiro, who knows the culinary landscape of Morningside Heights like no other, was quick to alert us to the very important development of a new Crumbs Bake Shop at 108th and Broadway. It will take up residence in the shopfront which formerly housed Crystal Gourmet. We hope this won’t be accompanied by gang violence. Although Crumbs is the country’s largest cupcake chain (which went public in a $66 million merger in January), the shop originated on the UWS. They have seasonal collections, like in clothing catalogs, but for cupcakes.

Cupcakes cost $4.50, and include the Half and Half: a 590-calorie cupcake that Crumbs describes on its website as “marble cake filled with white butter cream, topped with half vanilla cream cheese frosting mixed with chocolate chip cookie crumbs and half chocolate fudge mixed with brownie pieces and covered with chocolate chip cookie and brownie pieces.” It will be interesting to observe how the corporate cake squares off against Robicelli’s, the foodblogs’ indie darlings on sale at Joe.

No word yet on the official opening date

 

Overheard: Now Is The Summer Of Our Discontent, Discomfort

No hipster mustaches or fedoras were harmed in the making of this Bwog post.

Two Joe employees examine the existential questions surrounding seafood-dish viscosity, in front of the new vending machines:

”I’m just uncomfortable with calling ceviche a soup.”

 

 

 

Image of a seafood dish that can’t be comfortably referred to as a soup via Wikimedia.

 

Nomingside Heights: A Culinary Wasteland No Longer

Community's French toast is a force to be reckoned with

We all know that Morningside Heights contains a lot of good eats, but they haven’t always been taken seriously. Bwog’s Senior Foodie Diana Clarke reports that this is changing. Our beloved neck of the woods is finally getting the culinary recognition it truly deserves from city’s blogosphere.

Click the Morningside Heights tag on the excellent food blog Serious Eats NY, and you’ll find a mere 23 entries, 12 of them dating to 2009 or earlier. Compare that to the East Village, which has garnered over 40 posts since the beginning of 2011, and remember why people sometimes look at you funny when you tell them where you live. “Morningside what?” they ask. “Upper West Side,” you reply.

But no longer must Morningside Heights cling futilely to the Upper West Side’s culinary coattails, Zabar’s be damned! Ed Levine and the folks at Serious Eats have been giving Morningside some serious attention lately. If you look at the post-2009 entries, you’ll see that there are 6 posts from the last three months, which is exceedingly generous considering our modest pedigree and the fact that New York City is one of the most premiere culinary destinations on the planet.

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Boringside Heights: Forrealz This Time

So many things have happened this week that it’s almost too much for us to process. There are changes everywhere, new things abound—all this excitement might be dangerous for Bwog’s heart health! Though we may have had a little fun with yesterday’s posts, we promise that today’s edition of Boringside Heights is totally legit. Feast your eyes on the newness of it all!

In Picture-less News:

  • The fruit carts are back! We know we say this a lot, but come on, guys—spring is totally here!!
  • Joe now has a coffee cart manned by some of your fellow Columbians! They’re only serving pre-brewed coffee as of now, but we’re sure they’ll learn the ways of latte art soon
  • A quart of milk at Westside is now $1.39, up 20 cents from the original price. We are not pleased.
  • Saving the best for last: H&H Bagels may (or may not) be served at Uni(brow) “Café”!!! In some serious investigative reporting yesterday, Bwog called Uni “Café” regarding the rumored presence of these famous bagels at their establishment. After hemming and hawing about the irregularity of bagel shipments, a Uni “Café” employee confirmed that the store will sell “H&H Bagels sometimes, but not always.”
Icing on the Cake

Bwog has been hanging around Joe quite a bit for the past few weeks. We’ve reviewed the vittles, invited you inside of our brain, and learned the true meaning of cupping. Below, Delicious Dessert Correspondent Diana Clarke reports on Joe’s newest addition, Robicelli’s cupcakes. Today’s flavors, Partida Tequila and Abuelita:

I almost missed National Tequila Day. Did anybody even know that was a thing? Robicelli’s, the greatest homeless cupcake bakery in the city of New York, realized it was definitely a thing when the Partida Tequila people told them. So naturally, Robicelli’s decided to make limited edition Partida Tequila cupcakes. Then everyone’s favorite new campus espresso bar Joe decided to start carrying Robicelli’s cupcakes. And that is how I came to eat a tequila cupcake yesterday in the Northwest Corner Science Building.

Frosted with pale green buttercream and topped with lime slice candied in agave, the cupcake smelled immediately of lime and butter. The frosting alone was rich and smooth but still light, and tasted of key lime pie. The cake, meanwhile, had a spongy moist crumb that didn’t fall apart, with a faint flavor of tequila. Chewy and sweet, the slice of lime offered a stronger tequila taste. Nobody got buzzed in the midafternoon, but one of my friends called the Parida Tequila “one of the best non-chocolate cupcakes I’ve had.” Read on for more tasty goodness

Professor Wisdom, Gloom, and Harry Potter Fandom

We thought you might appreciate this auto-correction, Professor Kahn. Photo credit: Matt Hayto

Dear Professors,

We hear you. Sometimes we under-hear you (read: 9 a.m. class), but when we’re very lucky, we overhear you! And not just while you’re weighing in on important international issues; we also hear those cavalier comments you improvise in lecture. And since we like what we’ve heard lately so much, we thought we’d share:

  • Shamus Khan, while talking about how sports and games allow for the expression of rivalries in society without violence and fighting: “You’re not about to go do a physical, hostile takeover of Harvard. Although if you do, I will lead you.”
  • Alan Brinkley, in response to question about the interstate highway act: “Destroying communities is something I know a lot about, being Provost for seven years.”
  • Ruben Gonzalez, giving a metaphor for chemical equilibrium: “Has anybody been to that new Joe Coffee shop? It’s sort of like an equilibrium situation—there’re always 100 people in line, but it is a dynamic, changing 100 people.”
  • Lucius Riccio, prefacing an Operations Research lecture: “Today we are going to talk about forecasting.  It is the fine use of divination, like Professor Trelawney’s class, in order to predict the future.”
  • John Collins, in a metaphysics class: “In classical epistemology, it is assumed that every actor has unlimited access to his own internal thoughts, but in Jewish epistemology, your mother has access to your own internal thoughts.”
Joe, How Sweet It Is

So many cupcakes...

Just when you thought Bwog couldn’t fawn over Joe any more, it turns out that The Best Cupcakes in NYC are arriving in NoCo on February 21st. Robicelli’s has no standing menu because they are constantly inventing new flavors, but here’s a sample of what one might expect:

Butterbeer: Vanilla cake soaked with homemade butterscotch, butterscotch buttercream, edible gold dust

Chicken n’Waffles: Vanilla “waffle” cake, vanilla buttercream, buttermilk soaked fried chicken dunked in pure Vermont maple syrup.

Car Bomb: Chocolate Guinness stout cake, Jameson whiskey ganache, Bailey’s Irish Cream buttercream

Deliciousness via wikimedia

Free Cups of Joe

It's the kind of cupping you're allowed to do on a crowded subway!

The Columbia location of Joe will be having a free “cupping” event today at 3 pm. After turning on our Safe Search settings, Bwog learned that a “cupping” is what coffee aficionados call a tasting event.  So head over to the Northwest Corner building (everyone hates its name!) this afternoon for good coffee and bad jokes about fondling.

Experience Joe

Bwog welcomes you inside our brain as we experience the new Joe…

“It’s like Soho, except cleaner (for now). A Mac-lover’s refuge! But no outlets and they’ll probably need more tables. The chairs are surprisingly light (don’t weigh much). Flooded with sunlight with pick-up sticks molesting peripheral vision from above.”

Courtesy of Evelyn Warner

“Espresso drink sizes are 8 and 12 oz, regular coffee drinks are 12 and 16 oz due to the milk to coffee ratios. Coffee is very flavorful, 10 cents more than Oren’s and you can get in a bowl or a mug. …And the to-go cups have smiley faces!”

“This latte is quite mellow and smooth (almost delicious, infinitely drinkable) compared with their au lait, which tasted like coffee, water, and milk instead of coffee and frothed milk.”

“Tiny spoons, they’re cute! Amelie soundtrack is playing. Everyone’s happy.”

“For Joe’s staff, coffee is not just caffeine fuel, but an art form created in a chem lab. They’re impressively obsessive. Berets and ironic mustaches abound!”

“They got a 26 in Zagat a few years ago.”

“They’re hiring if you know how to do latte art [see above]. They’re also offering some kind of barista courses. Free cupping Thursday 3pm, where you savor the beans. Like a wine tasting or something, but just with a funnier name.”

“The scones have no sugar.”

Courtesy of Evelyn Warner

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