puns Archive



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img April 01, 20164:31 pmimg 1 Comments


CENTO’s style of promo-shot should be the next Snapchat face-swap filter

Arts Editor and avid theatre-goer Gowan Moïse traipsed up to the Lerner Black Box Theatre last night for the first showing of the Columbia University Performing Arts League’s (CUPAL) production of CENTO. CUPAL’s second and final performance of the show is tonight at 8 PM.

I absolutely love attending and reviewing original, student-written productions at Columbia for the sole reason that the pool of talent and creativity here is so exceedingly large. I try to walk into every show with an open mind; as part of the audience, I have to give the actors, directors, and writers the benefit of the doubt that they know what they’re doing regarding their artistic craft. I might have to knock on wood for writing this, but I’ve yet to be thoroughly disappointed with a show at Columbia.

That being said, I walked into CUPAL’s production of CENTO fairly skeptical. In the literary world, a cento is a work, usually poetry, created from quotes and material taken from other sources and rearranged to form new meaning. While the concept driving CUPAL’s production is not a new literary style by any stretch (originating around the 3rd century), this production was the first time I had every attended a live performance of a cento. My skepticism came from a sense of uncertainty about how it would all come together in the final production.

Looking back, I shouldn’t have been worried. While the show did have a rough start with some stilted dialogue and mistimed lines early on, the show picked up speed as the performers settled into their roles and lines in spectacular fashion. CENTO bounced from moments of soaring comedy and hilarity to quiet reflections and contemplations from the characters, and the longer the actors remained onstage, the more I was captivated with their lives and struggles.

Hear about CENTO’s plot



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img April 15, 20129:24 pmimg 0 Comments


Low on high.

Bacchanal weekend got off to a bad start for many Lions teams. Yale snapped the Men’s Tennis team’s 12 game winning streak and handed the squad their first Ivy League loss. The Bulldogs similarly got the better of the Women’s Tennis team, while Cornell swept Baseball and Softball in Saturday’s doubleheader. The Lions, however, bounced back to tally some big (gigantic) wins later in the weekend, including two victories over Dartmouth from the tennis teams, a win against Big Red Softball, and a second place finish in the 6th Annual Roar-EE Women’s Golf Invitational.

Read on for more Columbia Athletics scores and news, and see the Lions’ lows and highs while you were high on Low.

Men’s Tennis (17-3, 4-1 Ivy League):


Yale 3-4 (L)
Dartmouth 5-2 (W)

Highlights: The Lions entered Saturday’s match against Yale on a 12 game winning streak and undefeated in the Ivy League. Columbia opened play with a strong performance in the doubles, as freshman Max Schnur and Ashok Narayana took down their nationally ranked opponents in the No.1 spot, 8-2. The Bulldogs struck back with a win in No. 3 doubles, but senior Haig Schneiderman and freshman Winston Lin salvaged the doubles point for the Lions after taking the No. 2 doubles in a tiebreaker. In the singles, Yale quickly drew the score even with a win in the No. 4 spot. Though Lin followed with a two-set victory in the No. 2 singles, the Bulldogs went on to take the No. 1 and No. 5 matches to pull ahead of the Lions. Columbia, however, would not go down without a fight, as sophomore Tizian Bucher battled back from a set down to win the No. singles, 4-6, 7-5, 6-4. The match came down the the No. 3 singles where the Lions lost a heartbreaking three-setter to snap their win streak and hand them their first Ivy League loss.

The Lions rallied today, taking down the Big Green, 5-2.

Up Next: The Lions return home next weekend to take on Princeton on Friday at 2 pm at Dick Savitt Tennis Center, before heading to Penn on Sunday for their final Ivy League match of the season.




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img February 19, 20129:00 pmimg 2 Comments

Jeremy Lin

Too many puns!

It’s impossible to talk about sports in New York this week without mentioning Knicks point guard sensation, Jeremy Lin. It also turns out it’s impossible to talk about Jeremy Lin without using a LINconcievable number of LINcredibly bad puns. Anyone who has turned on a TV or picked up a New York newspaper in the past week (or, God forbid, watched ESPN) has been LINundated with a myriad of Lin references in headlines and commentaries.

The enthusiasm around Lin has turned into a racially-charged controversy in recent days, which began with the February 15th front page headline of the New York Post that read, “Amasian!” and only escalated when espn.com released a story entitled “Chink in the Armor” after the Knicks lost to the Hornets on Friday night. The employee who wrote the article was promptly fired with an apology from the network, and ESPN anchor, Max Bretos, was suspended for using the same phrase during an interview. SNL parodied the controversy last night during the cold open, playing on the questionably-racist media coverage and overused puns.

The media frenzy surrounding Lin erupted in large part because he is such an anomaly in professional basketball: not only is he one of very few Asian-American in the NBA, but he’s also an Ivy League graduate. The Harvard alum has sent shock waves through the sports world and re-energized the Knicks fan base with his LINcredible performances in the past weeks, leading the Knicks six straight wins and breaking the record for the most points in his first four starts with 109, which is more than MJ or Shaq scored in their debut games. The LINsanity peaked last weekend when Lin sank a game-winning three in the final second against the Toronto Rapters, and only continued with the Knicks win over the Mavericks last night.

Maybe one day we’ll see a Columbia grad in the NBA? Maybe. Read on for the weekly round-up of your Columbia Lions.




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img November 23, 20116:15 pmimg 0 Comments

Constellations: A major focus of the SGA meeting

Diana Correspondent Renée Kraiem brings the latest from the SGA.

DSpar stopped by SGA this week to give thanks and get thoughts from Rep Council about the College’s forthcoming capital campaign, its Global Symposia and its new Constellations program. Each conversation built upon the central topics of SGA discussions this semester: communication and cash, and what it means to be a women’s college.

DSpar was insistent that the Constellations program, launched this year as a networking system and community builder for Barnard students and alumni that is based on their first-year residential life, was one that was built to evolve with lots of student imput. The main sentiment among members of Rep Council was that upperclassmen felt substantially disconnected from the program and that its purpose was confusing to all involved, which, in this case, is everybody. SGA will submit a report on their suggestions for the Constellations program to DSpar, which she intends to discuss with A-Hinks.

SGA had many questions about the growth of Barnard’s Global Symposia and its presence on campus. The Symposium is in its fourth year, and is to be held over Spring Break in Mumbai. The purpose of the Symposia were brought up as a continuation of the discussion about the purpose of women’s colleges that began following the Seven Sisters Conference. Rep Council discussed what could be done to make the Symposia more of a presence on campus considering how few students are selected to attend each year. Spring Break in PI? Try Mumbai. (more…)



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img October 24, 201111:00 amimg 1 Comments

In the midst of the campus-wide smoking ban debate, it would appear that Columbians are taking matters into their own hands. The following pun-ny sign and vessel were spotted by a tipster outside grad student haunt Haakon’s Hall, on Amsterdam:

We recommend looking before taking a seat.



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img October 18, 20114:25 pmimg 16 Comments

What do you get when The Beatles and a very well-stocked deli collide? At Barnard, you get a 712-foot [yellow] submarine sandwich! McAC’s annual Big Sub Extravaganza is tonight at 7pm on the Barnard lawns. Come bite off a piece of tradition as you sing along to this year’s theme: The Yellow SUBmarine. And be sure to get there early, because .135 miles of sandwich is no match for a horde of hungry college students, and it always goes fast. Let us know how it tasted in the comments!

The sub has been prepared, and is already waiting/hopefully not getting too mushy on the lawns:

Feeling left out via Wikimedia Commons



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img October 18, 20113:30 pmimg 1 Comments

It’s midterms, you’re busy, you got two hours of sleep, and in your delirious haze you stop at a food cart to grab a hot dog. Well, maybe today it’s just a hot dog. But maybe this is the start of something big. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow you’ll wake up to find Morningside has turned into a land of dreams.

hot dog cart

Today, an ambiguous sausage. Tomorrow, some part of a cow!

And if that hot dog, err, disagrees with you, well, um, we’re not gonna think too hard about why this might be there. But. It’s there. Just in case.

royal flush

Are we the 1%? Discuss



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img September 27, 20117:23 pmimg 17 Comments

A closely related, but different, mystique

Feminist Mystique, Columbia’s soon-to-be-launched feminist magazine, is holding their first meeting tonight in Hamilton 413 at 8:30 pm. Why should you care? First, because all people deserve equality, and a system that enforces rigid gender roles and treats men and women unequally hurts both women and men. But also because there will be free milk and cookies at the meeting.

You should also check them out if you like puns, because Columbia feminists are quite witty. The theme of the inaugural issue of the magazine is, “A woman’s place is in the House, Senate, and Oval Office.” Another newly formed, and slightly more radical, Columbia feminist group took the name “Radical CUNTS“—Columbia Undergraduates Not Tolerating Sexism. Their first meeting is Friday at 6:00 pm in the Malcolm X Lounge, and they’ll also have free food.

Update: More free food tonight! The Culinary Society (yeah, that one—you know it’s gonna be good) is serving heaps of free food at their “childhood favorites” event tonight in the Satow Room at 9:30 pm. They’ll have smoked mac ‘n cheese with various toppings, cranberry pizza, milk ‘n cookies, dinosaur cupcakes, and a “gourmet PB&J bar” (!)

Landmark text from Wikimedia Commons



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img September 20, 20113:45 pmimg 4 Comments

Okay, so that headline was a little misleading. But the following slew of saucy signage—some of which is in what appears to be in a sort of French… creole?—was spotted at our very own Westside Market:



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img April 29, 20115:01 pmimg 2 Comments

S-C Double-O P D-O Double-G

Snoop Dogg has said, “When I’m not longer rappin’, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.” But CCSC isn’t willing to wait that long. Instead, they’re out on Vam Am Quad right now until 8 pm, handing out free ice cream, funnel cake, and the last of the College Days t-shirts, while jamming out to Snoop Dogg. If you like free desserts and puns about Bacchanal headliners, you should check it out!




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img January 29, 20114:15 pmimg 0 Comments

More free food!

The Middle Eastern Cultural Appreciation House (MECAH) is hosting a recruiting event for those interested in joining the house next year. Lots of free middle eastern desserts and tea will be served!

5pm in the first two suites on the first floor of Claremont.

Tags: ,



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img January 28, 201111:36 amimg 1 Comments

It's time to take responsibility.

New York schools are increasingly suspending students for even minor rule violations. Just ask Postcrypt. (NYT, Spec)

Columbia econ celeb, Joseph Stiglitz, criticizes Obama’s economic policies while talking to media at Davos. Why does that sound so familiar? (Bloomberg)

Criminal Sexting! Barnard TA, Igor Sorkin (of no relation to Aaron), was charged with texting naked pictures to a police officer posing as a 14-year-old girl. (Spec)

Rachel Sterne, a 27-year old adjunct professor at the B-School, is now New York City’s first Chief Digital Officer. Bwog hopes she’ll let us add Bloomberg on Facebook. (Capital)

Columbia has started administering OWL tests to some grad students. Next, there will be magical duels on the Steps. (PRLog)

Another one of the countless reasons to deactivate Facebook: it will suck your soul dry… science proved it! (Slate)

Columbia students get good grades! Keep studying, kids! (Spec)

Image from Wikimedia Commons



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img October 13, 20102:13 pmimg 7 Comments

Honest Tea is out in front of the 116th Street gates. Take a bottle, and pay a dollar in the box, but you’re on the honor system–nobody is watching!

Update: In other food news, it is half-off day at Haagen Dazs!

Photo by David Hu



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img November 16, 20092:30 pmimg 13 Comments

Bwog reader and Punny Physicist Steve Ma sent in this sign found in Pupin:


Somewhere, in his non-relativistic afterlife, Newton is smiling.

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