Written by Bwog Staff
August 28, 20149:32 am 0 Comments
You and your posse
Rise and shine, freshlings! There are boring NSOP events to attend and selfies to take with Alma! As you prep for your 50th trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, we’ll let you know what’s hip and happenin’ on this beautiful NSOP morning. As always, send anything and everything NSOP-related to firstname.lastname@example.org or use our anonymous tip form.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Today’s nugget of wisdom comes from the dynamic duo of Claire Kao and Mahima Chablani (also known as ClaireMahima ClaireMahimerson):
“Delete your Facebook for at least one semester. If you don’t have one, high five!! There’s a strange sorcery to social media, wherein everyone else’s lives look that much more **sparkly** than our own. But things always look grander on Facebook. Skip the virtual interaction in favor of good ole eye and physical contact. Text your friend. No, call your friend. No, knock on their door.”
From the Archives: Ever wonder what you would see if you spent 12 hours straight in a Tom’s booth? Wonder no more.
A picture that made more sense in an earlier version of this post via Shutterstock
Tags: 12 hours at toms is heroic, bitchin' glasses, bwog is run by dogs wearing wigs, double the wisdom, hip and happenin', literal bitches, mad art skillz, nsop 2014, posse o' bitches, waking up with bwog
August 27, 20148:06 am 2 Comments
“Look at all the friends I made, mom!”
After two days of NSOP, you can officially call yourself an old pro at this game. Slug down some OJ and eat away that hangover you still have from Sunday night to prepare for the day that NSOP and your clingy roommate both start to feel overrated. Keep trying to impress everyone with your SAT score and listing the schools you declined to attend Columbia. If you hear someone actually do this, tell us all about it by emailing email@example.com or using our online tip form. This is the day the real whispered confessions come out.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating:
Find the best bathroom on campus to have a peaceful poop. You will forever be grateful how proactive you were finding that toilet your first couple weeks at Columbia until the day you graduate. Pro-tip: the higher you go in Butler, the more pooping privacy you shall find. (Thanks for the advice, Shelby.)
From the Archives: Love can be found in 1020. Robert and Kristine 4ever.
Tags: educate yourself on the epic love story of robert and kristine, forced school spirit: what columbia does best, makin friends, nsop 2014, peaceful poop, practice those roar lion roar lyrics, waking up with bwog
August 25, 20148:03 am 2 Comments
If you haven’t already noticed the cheering OLs, herds of lost-looking students, or crying parents, welcome to the first day of NSOP! If you ARE a cheering OL, a herd of lost students, or a crying parent, then you probably already knew that. If you’re interested in writing about anything from your NSOP experience to your weird new roommate to a squirrel you saw eating pizza, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or use our anonymous tip form.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: In one of Bwog’s most beloved series, Senior Wisdom, graduating seniors bestow their infinite knowledge upon us. Today, we’re highlighting a snippet of wisdom from Bwog’s own Anna Bahr:
“Let’s keep it seasonal. The swings in Riverside during spring. Mr. Softee during summer. The Cloisters during fall. Coney Island during winter.”
From the Archives: The story of Matilda the Harlem Goat, our almost-mascot and the champion of our hearts. Spend your first day talking about taxidermy goats and make friends for life.
Light of our lives via Shutterstock
Tags: #matilda2014, Bwog unanimously supports squirrels, lol that the schedule only gives you 15 minutes to say goodbye, Matilda the Harlem Goat, nsop 2014, NSOP drop and roll, pantone 290, taxidermy goats, waking up with bwog
September 02, 201310:00 am 0 Comments
This is it, friends. Tomorrow we’re officially back to school.
Louise McCune: Get into it. Whatever “it” is. I wish upon everyone some extremely “chill” times in college, but I also hope that there will be days– weeks! months!– that you are so so so so absolutely INTO what you are doing that it is almost all you can think about. Take advantage of this unparalleled opportunity to have ideas and make things in the company of all these brilliant people.
Know Your Alums: We can tell you that you go to school with some seriously kick-ass people and you’re really going to enjoy the next four years, or we can just show you these:
The Hard Core: A Columbian Odyssey (Part 5 of 5) “It’s Finals Week” from Bwog on Vimeo.
Tags: nsop 2013, so many neighborhood tours, the end is here, the hard core, v118, waking up with bwog
September 01, 20138:30 am 1 Comments
Classes are looming nearer. Today, you’re going to have to actually run some errands/buy textbooks/buy food, not just put it off. Luckily, you still have a few days of waking up with us. Savor it, this won’t last for much longer.
Steven Castellano: Go on top of the Low dome. The journey up is half the fun, and the view from above is unmatched by that of any skyscraper in the city. Definitely do that, but also explore as many other physical and mental spaces as you can.
Know Your Alums:
You have this guy to thank for your 14th floor room with no functioning elevator. He was also the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, as we’re sure your enthusiastic tour guide told you. Love you, JJ.
Tags: come love us, that moment when you sign up for 20 listservs...and stay on them for all 4 years, waking up with bwog, we'll help your sunday night blues
August 31, 20138:05 am 3 Comments
It’s everyone else’s move-in day, so NSOP is dangling carrots to lure first-years off campus. Just stay out of our blue bins’ way! Please continue to send in overseens and overheards to email@example.com or use our anonymous tip form.
Rachel Nash Bronstein: Go the fuck outside. Like, right now. Chances are it’s nice out, but even if it isn’t, the fresh air will do you good.
Hell yeah this song is about where you are right now. Welcome back, upperclassmen! (And, yes, the chandelier is in St. A’s)
Tags: "go the fuck outside", get out on the stone and grass, hey did you know vampire weekend went to columbia?, move-in day, nsop 2013, so many neighborhood tours, vampire weekend, waking up with bwog
August 30, 20138:03 am 1 Comments
You’re almost there, NSOP-ers — real school is almost in session. Welcome to your first Friday. Not the First Friday, though. Please continue to send in overseens and overheards to firstname.lastname@example.org or use our anonymous tip form.
Mixers & Such:
Brian Wagner: Get your heart broken. It doesn’t have to be by a person—it could be an idea, organization, or friend. Once you get over the grieving, you’ll have quite possibly the clearest perspective on life that you’ve ever had, and you’ll learn what really matters to you. Find that one thing, and never stop doing it.
Alexander Hamilton: the man, the myth, the legend.
Tags: alexander hamilton, Alexander Hamilton was in the top 2 best looking founding fathers, brian wagner original gangster, nsop 2013, rip alexander hamilton (again), so many mixers, waking up with bwog
August 29, 20138:29 am 6 Comments
Moooornin y’all, A+ work on getting Beta shut down before midnight. The war on fun: it’s real! Now get some coffee, pancakes, and ginger ale and get ready for more activities.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: [Today we’re giving you two pieces of advice for the price of one thing.]
Beyonce Knowles Carter Meriam Raouf: Lose that virginity. Not so much because you need to have sex to fit in, because, let’s be honest, there’s a ton of abstinence being practiced on this campus. But because that mission will probably take you below 110th street or just more into 116th. Either get involved off campus or get involved on campus. Netflix, Reddit, imgur, all those bastards, can eat up a semester, and then a year. And you’ll wish you’d only watched Parks and Rec all the way through one time, and done something instead.
Will Hughes: Spitters are quitters.
Be proud, you’re joining the company of these fine humans:
Tags: I think I need a ginger ale, nsop 2013, that video, waking up with bwog, war on fun, will hughes
August 28, 20138:00 am 1 Comments
Good morning. Starting to get the hang of things? Remember, keep emailing email@example.com with stories, overheards, desperate pleas for roommate advice. Keep on rocking.
Logon Donovan: Make an effort to get to know at least one new person in each of your classes. Go get coffee or tea or whatever they drink. It’s so easy to go to class every day and sit next to the same people and not even know their name. Especially in engineering where all of your classes are with the same people.
Let’s keep listing the celebs: Anna Paquin, both Gyllenhaals, and the far-superior-to-James-Franco Joseph Gordon-Levitt. None of them may have actually graduated from Columbia, but they were once on this campus, just like you.
Tags: joseph gordon levitt is a bamf, kind of like dayglow but not really, making friends, none of the celebrities stick it through all four years...., nsop 2013, so starstruck, waking up with bwog
August 27, 20139:00 am 0 Comments
A hearty welcome to the TVC students today! We hope your day goes smoothly. If you see or hear anything funny, or if you just need someone new to talk to, go ahead and email firstname.lastname@example.org — we’d love to hear from you!
Randolph Carr III: Rob this school blind. Check out as many books as you can read, and keep whatever you find inside. Apply for every grant whether you think you are qualified or not. Any professor who you are slightly interested in, take every spare moment they will offer you, to loot their wisdom. This school is abundant in resources, most of which it has, indeed, robbed from someone. Do not be ashamed, steal every opportunity you can get.
Know Your Alums: James Franco was here for a little and “studied” in Butler 209 a lot, which was a fun and sexy time for people.
Tags: christia mercer, christia mercer is a bamf, james franco, lit hum, lithum legends, nsop 2013, waking up with bwog
August 26, 20137:15 am 1 Comments
Today we’re getting our final round of movers-in with the short-distance travelers. Bwog will be running about today, snooping on NSOP and talking to freshmen about the experience. As of today, NSOP is officially in full swing, so it’s time for you to Wake Up With Bwog. If you’re interested in writing about anything that you go through today, email email@example.com.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: One of Bwog’s classic traditions is Senior Wisdom, a series run around graduation every year, where seniors are nominated to shed some wisdom. Here we highlight a piece of advice from them.
“Have purpose, and lots of sleepovers.” – Claire Sabel
Know Your Alums: Comedy group Local Empire, Columbia alums who were in the Fruit Paunch improv comedy group, verbalize how you’ll feel on the lawns with your OL today:
Tags: BWOG NEVER SLEEPS jk we scheduled this post last night, convocation, convocation 2013, first day of the rest of your life, go ahead and use the vmas as a topic of conversation, nsop 2013, pitch perfect, so many human knots, waking up with bwog, where my jersey girls at
September 06, 20112:38 am 0 Comments
It’s over! We hope that you freshpeople have enjoyed getting to know Bwog as much as we’ve enjoyed getting to know you. Relive the best of this week’s NSOP coverage:
Introducing the Class of 2015:
Health and Safety:
Getting to Know the ‘Hood:
Things you should really know about:
Getting to Know Columbia:
Tags: nsop, nsop 2011, waking up with bwog
September 05, 201111:58 am 5 Comments
The ultimate dilemma
As you freshpeople look forward to the next four years, seniors are anticipating their last. Whatever they’ve been through during their time at Columbia, one questions plagues them more than any other: if you had to give up either oral sex or cheese for the rest of you life, what would you choose?
Rajib Mitra, SEAS ’10
Unless you are lactose intolerant, the answer should be oral sex. If you say otherwise, you are wrong. Actually, even if you are lactose intolerant you should still pick oral sex. You survived the post-John Jay dining hall afterparty in your tummy, you know you can suck it up for glorious cheese.
Katie Reedy, CC’09
I must refer to the 5/7 episode of 30 Rock. Liz Lemon is curled up alone in her apartment, wrapped in a blue Snuggie, sampling from a large cheese tray and singing to herself, “Workin’ on my night cheese,” to the tune of “Workin’ on my night moves.” This scene encompasses my answer and my general philosophy.
Jody Zellman, JTS/GS’11
It’s hard to imagine one without the other.
You have time to think about this ’15ers, but one day, your time will come.
Tags: nsop, nsop 2011, oral sex, waking up with bwog
September 04, 20119:46 am 2 Comments
We hope you’re starting to find your sea legs by now. We’ve some real treats for you today.
Get yourself wiser courtesy of Bwog alum Menachem Kaiser, GS ’09:
A good title on a paper will help you far more than you might realize. Whatever it is you kinda dream about doing in life, do it here, while you can, often. Sweatpants do not help anyone get laid. Professors are, by far, the most under-utilized facility on campus, followed by the librarians; use ‘em. Assiduous note-taking in science/math classes does not help one whit. There’s a lot to be said for classes where the readings are good.
We’re feeling it’s about that time of the year for some Ferris Bueller:
The rest of this morning is dedicated to the tips and tricks to choosing classes that no one ever tells you.
First of all, Columbia has no official “shopping” period, where you test out classes, but most professors understand that things shake up a bit in the first two weeks. So it’s definitely not the end of the world if you switch into a class or two late.
You are told that you cannot switch core sections without petitioning, but this is false. It’s perfectly easy to do through SSOL. Bwog cannot impress upon enough the beauty of the refresh button. You can see all the Lit Hum professors under the subject ‘Humanities’ in the Directory of Classes. Do some research, because a professor’s area of expertise can bring a lot to the table. Some historic favorites are Richard Sacks (section 11) Mark Lilla (sections 30 and 48), and Liza Knapp (section 7). Once you’ve identified a few sections that you would like to switch into, sit in front of your registration page and hit the “switch section” button. Freshpeople are all over the place with their course selection, switching in and out of things willy-nilly, so availability will be changing all the time, and most spaces are only open for a few minutes. Same goes for all other first-year reqs.
Keep an open mind. CULPA is highly subjective, and just because one person didn’t enjoy a teaching method doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for you. Teaching styles will vary hugely, and you shouldn’t dismiss your professors based on hearsay. The number of negative CULPA reviews that get written because people were miffed about their grades or just wanted an easier ride is really depressing.
Talk to your professors! They know you’re ignorant and afraid and a little sweaty. They want to encourage you. Just be honest with them about what you’re looking for in a class, and they’ll be able to direct you to the right place.
Tags: DIY, nsop, nsop 2011, quick before classes start, sweater vests, twist and shout, waking up with bwog
September 03, 201110:52 am 3 Comments
Peel yourself out of bed and go ‘splorin.
Classes start soon, so before you get lazy, make this Apple your oyster. Some weekend suggestions: Hell’s Kitchen Flea Market, the annual unicycle festival, Brazilian Day, The Central Park butterfly garden, Upright Citizens Brigade, eating. Structure a full day around finding the best pickle, pizza or bagel. Pick a random neighborhood and stroll. You run this town.
Another daily dose of wisdom, courtesy of Nina Pedrad, CC’11
Find a couple things you love here, and get into them. I came from the “do every activity imaginable in high school so you can get into a good college” school of thought. And I wore sweatpants for most of high school. Now, there’s nothing wrong with sweatpants, but I wasn’t pregnant or training to fight Apollo Creed. My point is, you can calm down a bit because… you’ve done it! You’ve gotten into a good college. So do a few things you love and relax.
Oscar Wilde said “life is too important to be taken seriously” and sister knows her business. No assignment should throw you into a massive panic attack, no weird look at a party should ruin your night. I don’t know if these will best the best four (or five, or six) years of your life because that will mean you peaked in college, but they can be a damn fun four years.
And get to know people, because there are some pretty cool ones here. On your freshman floor you probably have a kid who can build a rocket ship, belt all of “Defying Gravity,” and make fart noises with six different body parts. If the same kid can do all three, then you need to become that kid’s manager and exploit him.
Bwogline of the Day:
After all the consent workshops, this NYTimes article on college gender roles seem topical…and frighteningly familiar. An excerpt: “What stunned me was what was happening outside class, where women seemed not to have budged in decades. In social settings and in relationships, men set the pace, made the rules and acted as they had in the days when women were still “less than.” It might as well have been the 1950s, but with skimpier clothing, fewer inhibitions and better birth control”
Are you ready to go back to Columbia yet?
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