It’s over! We hope that you freshpeople have enjoyed getting to know Bwog as much as we’ve enjoyed getting to know you. Relive the best of this week’s NSOP coverage:

Highlights:

• Overseen: codewords, totes, parents and more
• Overheard: the things they said
• Swag: free things that Bwog found, including slushie cups
• Photobwogging: orientation in pictures
• CUgLow: Alma at the disco

Introducing the Class of 2015:

• Marcus Levine on Class Act
• Alison Herman on the first Lit Hum lecture
• Bijan Samareh on Sex is Sexy

Health and Safety:

• Bwog’s definitive guide to condoms on campus
• CAVA and EMS: what to do in medical emergencies

Getting to Know the ‘Hood:

• Through apps
• Through drinking
• Through restaurants
• Through the farmer’s market

Things you should really know about:

• Operation Ivy League: the undercover drug busts that hit Columbia last year
• Heteronormativity
• Gmail: Cubmail is the enemy

Politics:

• How student government works
• How New York City politics work
• Student council presidents address 2015

Getting to Know Columbia:

• Our Abbrevs.
• Our class selection
• Our student discounts

Home decorating:

• Inspiration from past years
• How to decorate John Jay
• How to decorate Carman

The ultimate dilemma

As you freshpeople look forward to the next four years, seniors are anticipating their last. Whatever they’ve been through during their time at Columbia, one questions plagues them more than any other: if you had to give up either oral sex or cheese for the rest of you life, what would you choose?

Rajib Mitra, SEAS ’10

Unless you are lactose intolerant, the answer should be oral sex. If you say otherwise, you are wrong. Actually, even if you are lactose intolerant you should still pick oral sex. You survived the post-John Jay dining hall afterparty in your tummy, you know you can suck it up for glorious cheese.

Katie Reedy, CC’09

I must refer to the 5/7 episode of 30 Rock. Liz Lemon is curled up alone in her apartment, wrapped in a blue Snuggie, sampling from a large cheese tray and singing to herself, “Workin’ on my night cheese,” to the tune of “Workin’ on my night moves.” This scene encompasses my answer and my general philosophy.

Jody Zellman, JTS/GS’11

It’s hard to imagine one without the other.

You have time to think about this ’15ers, but one day, your time will come.

We hope you’re starting to find your sea legs by now. We’ve some real treats for you today.

Get yourself wiser courtesy of Bwog alum Menachem Kaiser, GS ’09:

A good title on a paper will help you far more than you might realize. Whatever it is you kinda dream about doing in life, do it here, while you can, often. Sweatpants do not help anyone get laid. Professors are, by far, the most under-utilized facility on campus, followed by the librarians; use ‘em. Assiduous note-taking in science/math classes does not help one whit. There’s a lot to be said for classes where the readings are good.

We’re feeling it’s about that time of the year for some Ferris Bueller:

The rest of this morning is dedicated to the tips and tricks to choosing classes that no one ever tells you.

First of all, Columbia has no official “shopping” period, where you test out classes, but most professors understand that things shake up a bit in the first two weeks. So it’s definitely not the end of the world if you switch into a class or two late.

You are told that you cannot switch core sections without petitioning, but this is false. It’s perfectly easy to do through SSOL. Bwog cannot impress upon enough the beauty of the refresh button. You can see all the Lit Hum professors under the subject ‘Humanities’ in the Directory of Classes. Do some research, because a professor’s area of expertise can bring a lot to the table. Some historic favorites are Richard Sacks (section 11) Mark Lilla (sections 30 and 48), and Liza Knapp (section 7). Once you’ve identified a few sections that you would like to switch into, sit in front of your registration page and hit the “switch section” button. Freshpeople are all over the place with their course selection, switching in and out of things willy-nilly, so availability will be changing all the time, and most spaces are only open for a few minutes. Same goes for all other first-year reqs.

Keep an open mind. CULPA is highly subjective, and just because one person didn’t enjoy a teaching method doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for you. Teaching styles will vary hugely, and you shouldn’t dismiss your professors based on hearsay. The number of negative CULPA reviews that get written because people were miffed about their grades or just wanted an easier ride is really depressing.

Talk to your professors! They know you’re ignorant and afraid and a little sweaty. They want to encourage you. Just be honest with them about what you’re looking for in a class, and they’ll be able to direct you to the right place.

Peel yourself out of bed and go ‘splorin.

Classes start soon, so before you get lazy, make this Apple your oyster. Some weekend suggestions: Hell’s Kitchen Flea Market, the annual unicycle festival, Brazilian Day, The Central Park butterfly garden, Upright Citizens Brigade, eating. Structure a full day around finding the best pickle, pizza or bagel. Pick a random neighborhood and stroll. You run this town.

Another daily dose of wisdom, courtesy of Nina Pedrad, CC’11

Find a couple things you love here, and get into them. I came from the “do every activity imaginable in high school so you can get into a good college” school of thought. And I wore sweatpants for most of high school. Now, there’s nothing wrong with sweatpants, but I wasn’t pregnant or training to fight Apollo Creed. My point is, you can calm down a bit because… you’ve done it! You’ve gotten into a good college. So do a few things you love and relax.

Oscar Wilde said “life is too important to be taken seriously” and sister knows her business. No assignment should throw you into a massive panic attack, no weird look at a party should ruin your night. I don’t know if these will best the best four (or five, or six) years of your life because that will mean you peaked in college, but they can be a damn fun four years.

And get to know people, because there are some pretty cool ones here. On your freshman floor you probably have a kid who can build a rocket ship, belt all of “Defying Gravity,” and make fart noises with six different body parts. If the same kid can do all three, then you need to become that kid’s manager and exploit him.

Bwogline of the Day:

After all the consent workshops, this NYTimes article on college gender roles seem topical…and frighteningly familiar. An excerpt: “What stunned me was what was happening outside class, where women seemed not to have budged in decades.  In social settings and in relationships, men set the pace, made the rules and acted as they had in the days when women were still “less than.” It might as well have been the 1950s, but with skimpier clothing, fewer inhibitions and better birth control”

NSOP is the new COÖP

Mornin’ freshpeople! We heard you were on an island last night!

How the kids branched out before:

NSOP renting out iconic New York places has been a tradition. Last year, 2014 was on a boat, 2013 danced in the zoo, and 2012 bonded in Victorian Gardens. But maybe dear ol’ 2011 had it best when NSOP used to host a concert. This band Vampire Weekend was there once.

Sari Ancel, SEAS ’10, shares some of her wisdom about just talking to others:

Stop and Chat > Wave Hello > Awkward Ignore…

Awkwardly ignoring someone you know is not only super mean but also not worth the effort of pretending to not know them (e.g. fake texting, feigning sudden interest in lawn trimmings). Just smile or say “hi.” This is perfect for Orientation Week when you make 150 new best friends in one day and you can’t remember someone’s name. [Side note: never be embarrassed to ask someone their name.] The Stop and Chat, however, is by far the superior option. It will help you stay updated with friends that you don’t get to see as often as you like. And, as you are rushing from a lab in Mudd to a meeting in Lerner, the stop and chat will keep you sane / put a smile on your face.

A few culinary options around Morningside Heights:

You’ll probably get sick of John Jay at some point (probably this week, maybe even today), so why not get a little adventurous and check out some of the other options you have right around you?

• If burgers are your thing, look no further than our own Battle of the Burgers guide to the neighborhood
• If brunch is your thing, Community Food & Juice is a Bwog favorite. Relish in it now, as it was once closed due to a fire but reopened to everyone’s delight. If you’re feeling bold, you can also try the new Cascabel Taqueria or the new-but-basically-just-Campo Il Cibreo.
• If you’re in need of coffee, be hip and check out Joe in NoCo
• Brad’s is an often overlooked and relatively recent addition to the campus dining fare, probably because it’s nestled in the J-School
• Food cards are a good choice if you’re just after something quick. They will really start showing up more often once the semester starts, but staples have always been dosa cart(s), halal carts (Bwog’s fave is Hooda), and the trendy Korilla.

And if you’re the kind that doesn’t like to pay for their food, don’t worry. Soon there will be tons of student groups looking to recruit fresh young minds, bribing them with the holy grail of college cuisine, free food.

A Golden Nails masterpiece tipped by Michael Kaufman

Top of the morning to you freshpeople! So much to see, so much to learn!

The wise John Jay once said:

“Hold fast to the spirit of youth, let the years to come do what they may”

The wise Wayne Campbell once said:

“I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.”

The wise Sarah Sechan, GS/JTS ’11 once said:

“Visit all 5 boroughs. Know how to spell “borough.” Make friends with the security guards. They’re going to be dealing with your drunk asses for 4 years and if you get on their bad side, you’ll regret it. Find meaningful volunteer work off-campus. Join the marching band. Don’t drink vodkawine.”

Bwog heartily seconds the greeting to your security guard. Yesterday morning, in a brief chat with the chap on duty about the lameness of the swipe-in/sign-in system,  he quoted Ron Paul, Ben Franklin, and Aldous Huxley in solidarity and then we talked politics a bit and parted ways.

"They are pulling on the gates at 7:30 when we open at 8. They ask, ‘What am I going to do without my cah-fee?’ I say, ‘What am I going to do without my wine?’”

It’s another beautiful day. Be fruitful and multiply your knowledge with Bwog.

First, a warm cup ‘o senior wisdom, courtesy of Ian Kwok, CC’11:

Columbia is a university where it’s really up to you to make what you want of it. So have some fun with it! Sure, grades are important, but in the end, that last 2% isn’t going to change how successful you’ll be in the long run. I mean, studies show that it’s just as important to be good-looking, so if success is what’s important to you, why not switch some of that tuition money over to get some quality plastic surgery?

Anyways, I kid, but seriously, enjoy yourself! Seriously enjoy yourself. Enjoy your serious self. You’ve got the rest of your lives to worry about your career. As a pre-med, I can assure you that you can have fun and still get into a good med school (I’ve only been to Butler a handful of times, and usually to rent a movie or play Sardines). And if you feel like you’ve got too much on your plate, just give some to me. I’ll take your leftovers, any day. So take it easy, eh? All you need is love!

Get to know Columbia’s unsung heroes, the friendly faces you’ll see everyday:

• Kia of Café 212
• Raj of Butler Café
• Renate the Stenographer
• Bob of University Hardware
• Wilma, Omelette Queen
• Pascale, John Jay security guard
• Charlie of JJ’s Place
• Sir Mike of Carman
• Steve of Brownie’s Café

Bwogline of the day:

Earlier this summer, the New Yorker published a meaty profile of Facebook COO and Barnard graduation speaker Sheryl Sandberg  Former SGA president Lara Avsar was even quoted. A memorable excerpt:

Of all the seniors who paused onstage, the one Sandberg recalled most vividly was the graduate who said, “You’re the baddest bitch.” Sandberg added, “I hope she meant it as a compliment. She gave me a big hug.”

Don't be afraid to be yourself

Rise and shine freshpeople! Every day we’ll be checking in with you as you greet your first Columbia mornings. To aid us in this quest, we’ve dug up some of our most valuable archival treasure, Senior Wisdom, from throughout the ages. Have something to contribute? Try us (including you ’15ers!) at tips@bwog.com.

Cynthia Jennings, Director of NSOP, had this to report:

“As of 5 PM yesterday, we had 1168 first years who had moved into housing. We are waiting for 234 more to arrive.

Today is the move in day for our Transfer, Visiting, and Combined Plan students. We had a handful of those students who moved in yesterday, but we expect most of them will still be arriving today since this was their originally scheduled move in day.”

Wise words of the day, courtesy of Justin Grace, CC’09

Most of the lessons you’ll learn in life have already been summed up better by rappers your friends only like ironically. So don’t do that. Also, it is going to hurt a whole bunch to learn how uncool and unspecial and completely and totally dumb you are. It’s worth it. (Plus I think it never stops?)

Favorite NSOP memory, from George Olive, CC’08

I unwittingly participated in an attempt to burn down Hogan my first week of college. During NSOP, my RA recruited a group of us to help retrieve and carry a stolen fridge back from Hogan. When the negotiations soured, a hot-blooded member of the retrieval party set the offending suite’s name-placard on fire, unbeknownst to me (seriously). When the fire alarm went off and we realized what had happened, my RA freaked out and instructed us to leave immediately without telling the security guard, which we did. This, specifically, is what I got in trouble for. The RA and the excitable student were suspended and kicked out of housing, and I ended up with a year of disciplinary probation. At the time, I thought I was going to get kicked out. In my sentencing hearing, I remember feeling both genuinely terrified about this prospect and curious to know whether Kevin Shollenberger was sitting on a booster seat.

Bwog circa 2009 via Wikimedia