SEAS Senior Omar Abboud may not have ever done the goddamn readings, but he learned enough in his time here to teach us a few things–like that it’s probably time to put down the computer and go to sleep. Name, School, Major, Hometown: Omar Abboud, SEAS, Operations Research with a minor in MESAAS (much to my […]

We all know that Butler is far from the best place to be this time of year – it’s crowded, it’s stressful, and you can smell the stink of desperation from halfway across campus. So why not get out? You could go to Avery or LeFrak, attempt studying in bed (a tactic with mixed results) or […]

Should you stay or should you go? Well, if that’s not a rhetorical question and you’re asking about Orgo Night, the answer is: go! Tonight at 11:59 pm precisely, all hell will break loose in Butler 209: CUMB is putting on its 69th “semi-annual” Orgo Night show/demonstration/what have you. Bwog will be there, of course, […]

Some people are smart, but some people are *smart*. Barnard Senior Emily is one of the latter group and has some Jonah Hill-worthy tips on how to be as much of a moneyBALLER as possible during your time at school. Hint: smoking hookah in Hillel immediately ups your baller status 100 levels. Name, School, Major, Hometown: […]

The RA we all dream of shows us Taylor Swift videos and gives us Nutella when we’re crying after our first freshman Chem exam. CC Senior Peter Bailinson is this dream-RA. Read on for the warm, fuzzy feeing your Death-Metal-loving RA never quite gave you. Name, School, Major, Hometown: Peter Bailinson, Columbia College, East Asian […]

In a university-wide e-mail, PrezBo has announced that Gerald Rosberg will be Columbia’s new Senior Executive Vice President starting July. Who is the Senior Executive Vice President? Well, he is replacing Robert Kasdin, who left the position to go to Johns Hopkins. Kasdin, described by many as the right hand man to PrezBo, had been […]

We’ve all had that moment: you’re looking in the mirror, examining your bedraggled second-semester face, and you have that thought: Why don’t I look like Ben Stiller in Night at the Museum, during his prime?? Well, unfortunately, you’re stuck with that embittered mug until you die (or earn enough to get the lines etched into your […]

Day three of Reading Week, and the livin’ is easy. Just joking, we’re all dying. Just remember: your week isn’t going as badly as Ted Cruz’s is! And you don’t even have to kill all those people–being the Zodiac Killer must be hard work… Bwogline: If you haven’t been listening to Beyonce’s Lemonade on repeat this entire […]

Sure, when you didn’t fill out your course evals earlier tonight, we thought you were at 1020 and just couldn’t do it. Even at 3 AM, we thought, hey, maybe they’re still out trying to have a fun night, who are we to remind them about something so extraneous but simple. But it’s 5 AM […]

Hey, you haven’t done your course evaluations yet. We reminded you about three hours ago, but you must not have seen it…right? You didn’t see that reminder, did you? Yeah, of course—what are we saying! You’re still at 1020, enjoying a second night off during Reading Week. That’s why we just want to remind you again […]

Hey guys, we know that finals are among us and if you’re not passed out, in a booth at 1020, trying to study, or doing some mixture of the three, you should fill out your course evaluations. While the evals will appear “anonymous” to your professors, they can still read what you write. So don’t go […]

USenator, Loyal Friend, and feckless comment-reader Marc Heinrich wants to endow you procrastinators with some wisdom. He talks work-life balance, leadership, and asbestos, among other topics. Check out our other wisdoms for more ruminations. Name, School, Major, Hometown: Marc Heinrich, Columbia College, Political Science & History, New York, NY Claim to fame: University Senator, AEPi […]

It’s Reading Week, you’re looking through your notes, and you realize much of what you scribbled down is illegible, strange, or undecipherable. Even more of it is just amusing. Below are some of your classmates’ notes, which are by turns sad, excited, mean, and strangely enough, helpful.  Life Mottos “Mitochondria Are the Powerhouse of the […]

Still scribbling out her thesis, Barnard senior and “self-hating Jew” Eva Kalikoff took a few minutes to share some thoughts about activism, sushi, and Senior Scramble. Let her wisdom blow you away, and peruse our library of knowledge at your leisure.  Name, School, Major, Hometown: Eva Kalikoff, Barnard College, Comparative Literature, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY Claim to fame: I […]

Live At Lerner presents Final Sounds: Alpenglow today from 1 to 2 pm in the Lerner Piano Lounge. If you haven’t been keeping up, Live At Lerner is a live performance series that has featured both established and up-and-coming artists all year, mostly in the Piano Lounge, but occasionally outdoors; they’ve had a pretty good […]