Over on Low Plaza, and for the last half hour or so, a crowd has gathered, sending out rainbow rays and good-time tunes into the night. Weighed down with glow-rings, the masses cover the steps and jam to “Chicken Fried,” the “Cupid Shuffle,” and “Jai-Ho” remixes.

The event is CUgLow. A tight core of dedicated dancers drift awkwardly among a dispersed crowd of freshmen and OLs. In the background a projector displays basketball stills, pictures of campus, and Bacchanal shots. Bereft of alcohol, first-years are getting drunk on Columbia.

One senior passerby, asked whether the event was sad or nice, pronounced it, “Sad.” Another bemoaned the pain Mother Gaia has suffered for all the glow-rings littering the Plaza. Still more sat together pouring drinks in highball glasses, musing, “We just like observing the freshmen.”

So do we.

Update, 11:20pm: A tipster spotted a gaggle of freshpeople with glow-rings all the way in midtown—bless their brave souls.

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food trucks. Bwog knows it can be difficult to keep track, so to ease your bureaucracy-induced agitation is Bwog’s CCSC correspondent Brian Wagner, here to untangle the web that is Columbia’s undergraduate student government.”>

Alexander Hamilton, an alum, founded SGA.

Bright young things: in the next few weeks you will be introduced to a dizzying array of organizations, acronyms, slang, and food trucks. Bwog knows it can be difficult to keep track, so to ease your bureaucracy-induced agitation is Bwog’s CCSC correspondent Brian Wagner, here to untangle the web that is Columbia’s undergraduate student government.

The Senate and The Councils

Columbia University Senate

The Senate is Columbia’s überlegislature, and a testament to the fact that we were the first University with a formal bureaucracy. The unwieldy body represents “faculty, students, and other constituencies.” The plenary meetings of the Senate take place roughly once per month throughout the academic year.

Hyperbole aside, here are the cold hard facts: The Senate has 108 voting seats, with 63 reserved for faculty, 24 for students, 6 for officers of research, 2 each for administrative staff, librarians, and alumni, and 9 for senior administrators including the president, who chairs monthly plenaries.

Action on the Senate floor may not seem as immediate as that in meetings of your Student Council (or Government Association—hey Barnard!), but these heirs of Webster and Calhoun get to weigh in on some of the Columbia community’s most pressing issues: from the lively and sometimes rowdy return of ROTC to the much-discussed-outside-Butler smoking ban, the budget-monitoring resolution on fringe benefits for university officers, and “rules governing political demonstrations.”

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Twenty-fifteen, we know you think you know a lot. That is why campus is filled with conversation like this:

[Group of COOP freshpeople walking up Broadway]
Freshgirl: “I am like in love with Banksy.”
Freshboy: “Yeah he’s like a big deal.”

But there’s so much left to learn. Bwog rounded up some of the things that now seem so commonplace it’s almost silly. But we were in your shoes once, and we’re here to help. The trick to this guide is to read Urban Dictionary when no one is looking:

• American cheese isn’t real cheese
• Blacking out
• Brostep
• Candyflipping
• Chipotle
• Disco naps
• Drunch
• Dubstep
• Ekphrasis
• Fixed gear bikes
• Fruit Ninja
• Four Loko
• Heteronormativity
• Natty Ice
• Pregaming
• Re-gaming
• Shotski
• Telos
• Tofucken
• Tapas
• Weezy

linoleum faze you—soon you too can cover your walls with cool kitsch. But in case you are daunted by all that space, or any other first-time conundrums, Bwog will answer your questions. We’re here to help, so ask away via tips@bwog.com.”>

A common arrangement of the "B" suite

Survey your Carman double. Don’t let the stark cinder block and linoleum faze you—soon you too can cover your walls with cool kitsch. But in case you are daunted by all that space, or any other first-time conundrums, Bwog will answer your questions. We’re here to help, so ask away via tips@bwog.com.

Dear Bwog,

What’s the best way to arrange my Carman double? I want room to imbibe with the bros, but also a warm, livable space in which I’d be happy studying, snuggling, or sighing while looking out the window.

Sincerely,
Confused Carmanite

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Yesterday, Harrison David began serving his prison sentence at Rikers. The other defendants in the case have yet another hearing in Manhattan Criminal Court on September 23rd. It looks like the long saga of Operation Ivy League may be drawing to a close. Upperclassmen may be relieved it’s finally over, but members of the Class of 2015 probably have no idea what happened on campus while they were still finishing up their applications. And they thought Moodygate was a big deal! As a public service, Bwog presents this primer on Operation Ivy League.

What does “Operation Ivy League” mean?

Operation Ivy League was the name of a months-long NYPD investigation into drug-dealing that resulted in the arrests of five Columbia students last year. The students were Harrison David (SEAS ’12 and a member of the fraternity AEPi), Adam Klein (CC ’12 and Psi U) Chris Coles (SEAS ’11 and Intercultural House, or ICH), Michael Wymbs (CC ’12 and unaffiliated, living in East Campus), and Joseph Stephen Perez, better known as Stephan Vincenzo (CC ’12 and Pike). They were arrested early on the morning of December 7, 2010 when NYPD officers with guns drawn raided the students’ frat houses and dorm rooms.

What were the students accused of?

The students were accused of dealing a variety of drugs, and early reports stated that each student “specialized” in a different kind of drug, though this conspiracy argument was eventually dropped. Coles was accused of selling a pound and a half of marijuana; Wymbs of LSD and MDMA (ecstasy); Perez of Adderall and amphetamines; Klein of marijuana, MDMA, and LSD; and David of marijuana and cocaine.

And what happened to them?

After they were arrested, the students were taken to prison on Rikers Island. Within days, most of the students had been bailed out, and their families had hired high-flying defense attorneys. The exception was Harrison David, who remained at Rikers for nearly two weeks before his father, Dr. David David, bailed him out and sent him to live with a family friend and former corrections officer in Florida.

Did they go to trial?

Not yet. Instead of a trial, the students faced a series of hearings at Manhattan Criminal Court (down by Chinatown) in the months following the arrests. The defendants were charged with a variety of felonies (including “criminal sale of a controlled substance” and “criminal sale of marijuana”) in different degrees. If convicted, they would had had to face years of jail time. All students initially pled “not guilty” to the charges, and were later offered plea deals.

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Bwog wonders whether Bloom prefers the Lattimore translation to the Fitzgerald

Alison Herman, CC’15, was dutifully in attendance yesterday afternoon. She keeps it short and sweet below. N.B. Christia Mercer is a Bright Eyes fan.

At 2:30 sharp on Tuesday, over a thousand Columbia College freshpeople and one intrepid reporter packed themselves into Roone Arledge Auditorium for their first-ever college lecture. With the help of a nifty slideshow, Christia Mercer spent the next hour and a half holding forth on the Iliad—the book we spent our summers SparkNoting, avoiding, and occasionally reading. Proving that she knew her audience, Mercer began by steering students towards the Internet, specifically the Lit Hum website, which promises to augment the Lit Hum experience with shiny pictures and “luscious” quotes. There’s even a section for students to submit pieces of art inspired by the Lit Hum syllabus. Soon, however, it was time for the students to take out their books. Touching on glory, honor, and other lofty principles, Mercer nonetheless kept the mood light, casually dropping references to Lady Gaga, Havana Central, and even a nearly naked Orlando Bloom.

At the lecture’s conclusion, Mercer called upon the audience to literally answer the big questions, including “What does it mean to live a good life?” and “What is a good life good for?” Praising the answers of the brave souls who volunteered to represent their discussion groups, Mercer at last pronounced the freshmen free and ready to begin their first year of college.

Unfortunately clothed via the Orlando Bloom Files message board

Bwog stopped by the Health Services fair for a round of “Sex Jeopardy.” Stock up on dental dams, Lifestyles, frisbees and cookies by the Zen Garden.

Be fruitful and multiply your knowledge with Bwog.”>

"They are pulling on the gates at 7:30 when we open at 8. They ask, ‘What am I going to do without my cah-fee?’ I say, ‘What am I going to do without my wine?’”

It’s another beautiful day. Be fruitful and multiply your knowledge with Bwog.

First, a warm cup ‘o senior wisdom, courtesy of Ian Kwok, CC’11:

Columbia is a university where it’s really up to you to make what you want of it. So have some fun with it! Sure, grades are important, but in the end, that last 2% isn’t going to change how successful you’ll be in the long run. I mean, studies show that it’s just as important to be good-looking, so if success is what’s important to you, why not switch some of that tuition money over to get some quality plastic surgery?

Anyways, I kid, but seriously, enjoy yourself! Seriously enjoy yourself. Enjoy your serious self. You’ve got the rest of your lives to worry about your career. As a pre-med, I can assure you that you can have fun and still get into a good med school (I’ve only been to Butler a handful of times, and usually to rent a movie or play Sardines). And if you feel like you’ve got too much on your plate, just give some to me. I’ll take your leftovers, any day. So take it easy, eh? All you need is love!

Get to know Columbia’s unsung heroes, the friendly faces you’ll see everyday:

• Kia of Café 212
• Raj of Butler Café
• Renate the Stenographer
• Bob of University Hardware
• Wilma, Omelette Queen
• Pascale, John Jay security guard
• Charlie of JJ’s Place
• Sir Mike of Carman
• Steve of Brownie’s Café

Bwogline of the day:

Earlier this summer, the New Yorker published a meaty profile of Facebook COO and Barnard graduation speaker Sheryl Sandberg Former SGA president Lara Avsar was even quoted. A memorable excerpt:

Of all the seniors who paused onstage, the one Sandberg recalled most vividly was the graduate who said, “You’re the baddest bitch.” Sandberg added, “I hope she meant it as a compliment. She gave me a big hug.”

The Columbia Housing Gods have upgraded your digs. Much thanks to the lovely Joyce Jackson for sharing this definitive list of renovations. Here’s what you can expect

• Carman: Freshies are in for a treat: a glistening new fitness room. Couch muffins can enjoy True Blood marathons on the flat screen televisions just installed in all floor lounges.
• River: Fancy flooring in rooms, hallways, and lounges. Goodies abound with new flat screen TVs and cushioned furniture in the lounges. Pianists, sick of Schapiro, be merry! There’s a new practice room AND fitness room.
• Printing: There is no less of a chance you’ll be stuck in line behind a dance leader printing 100 flyers with spanking new print stations in River, Watt, and Nussbaum. Also, that sauna of a computer lab in Hartley is moving a few doors down.

Interlude in honor of B’s bun in the oven: (The rest of the upgrades after the jump)

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CU pride

Despite delays, NSOP is now well on its way. Bwog has been out and about, mingling and picking up free shit. Here are the highlights we’ve observed thus far:

• The most commonly asked question at the information desk was when and where Convocation would be.
• The record number of blue bins one freshman required to shlep all her stuff was a shocking seven.
• At family check in, you can scoop up free totes and badges displaying Columbia family pride.
• RA have been issued two t-shirts, one with a superman symbol and one with their area name. Although many were originally told to display their area pride, it was soon realized that this was very confusing for the freshlings (and frankly us) who don’t know what “The Block” means.
• Green OLs are busy fetching the Give and Go Green loot from storage Brooklyn. They are also handing out waterbottles and getting people to sign up for their e-mails for the third year in a row.
• The 14 NSOP committee members have super fancy head gear to communicate with each other using secret codewords. One calls in with the name “Red Leader 1.” Bwog will award a prize to anyone who can reveal their codewords.
• There’s a new Res Life initiative (i.e. more bureaucracy!) in town. They’re calling it RHLO (“Rollo”), for Residential Hall Leadership Organization. Apparently, it’s “for the overacheivers,” and basically vindicates that one kid who always wants to take over the RAs duties. Currently only for first years, if all goes well the program will be extended to upperclasspeople’s residence halls.
• RA skits were most warmly receieved in the Furnald lounge with shouts of “Frisky Furnald!”
• A sheepish freshperson lingering outside Student Advising asked where 403 is. Her correspondent asked her if she was looking for advising, and then pointed to the sign in front of them.
• A page in the NSOP guide asks you to “Rate Your OL.” Student Affairs is watching you.

Relive the day through this sample playlist (you’ll have to imagine this part, but it was frequently punctuated with variations on “But how will he find food?!” – Mom):

• I’d Rather – Three 6 Mafia
• Paparazzi – Lady Gaga
• Blow – Ke$ha
• At Last – Beyoncé’s version (omgomg she’s pregnant)
• S & M – Rihanna
• Defying Gravity – Wicked
• Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

Screen shot of the page, filled with attacks

Hundreds of posts appeared today on Columbia’s Facebook page an unofficial Facebook page for Columbia University unaffiliated with the university declaring support for President Bashar al-Assad of Syria, the Washington Post reports. The furor is apparently a backlash against a Wall Street Journal story that ran this morning, quoting Columbia prof Hamid Dabashi: “This whole arrangement between Syria and Iran is in deep trouble because of the Arab Spring. The geopolitics and the Arab street are changing and it’s leaving them exposed.”

A few sample comments:

♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥ BASHAR AL ASSAD ♥

The Syrian people is the only one who has the right to grant legitimacy to the president, who leads his country and is not entitled to Mrs. Clinton to give legitimacy to one or the impartiality of it.

All syrian people love Bashar Al Assad

Apologies are beginning to appear on the page, such as:

On behalf of the Syrian people, please accept my most sincere apologies for the charade taking place on your page today. This is the doing of the farcical “Syrian Electronic Army”, a Facebook page that has made it its mission to mass-spam pages of various foreign newspapers, universities and international bodies with endless broken-English pro-Assad platitudes. It has been closed down by Facebook over and over but it keeps being resurrected by the same group of pro-Assad imbeciles. -cont’d

But by now the stream has slowed a little and exchanges such as this are adding a touch of humor:

Taking root, branching out, blossoming

Bwog’s freshest freshperson correspondent Marcus Levine reports from last night’s annual NSOP event. Relive the naive skepticism below.

The Class of 2015 has not had a smooth ride into college. From harrowing lines for bagged lunch in John Jay, to a canceled Convocation, practically every member of our incoming class has been affected by the fallout of “Hurricane” Irene. As such, going in to Class Act 2011 I could only expect to be disappointed.

It began with some traditional trivia on CU history, an unfortunately weak rendition of “Roar, Lion, Roar,” and attempts at a class-wide wave. Class Act eventually began with the first bout of the now-expected cheers from the crowd of OL’s (and a few freshmen) as Dean Shollenberger took the stage. Welcoming the Class of 2015 to the energy and vivacity of New York City, Shollenberger assured the incoming freshman that they could find inspiration at Columbia everywhere from the classroom to the “lavatory.”

Following the classic Alma Mater skit, the NSOP 2011 coordinators were introduced with a clever video parodying Dora the Explorer, replete with sly (and not so sly) digs at Brown, Harvard, and NYU, literal ice breaking, and a trip to Governor’s Island.

This year’s NSOP theme of “Taking Root, Branching Out” seemed to work its way into every aspect of Class Act in without much subtlety. Each speaker, including Head Volleyball Coach Jon Wilson, Jonathan Lung, President of the Columbia Engineering Young Alumni, and Dean Terry Martinez, incorporated the idea of the Class “spreading roots” in the community around campus and “branching out” to our greater home of New York City. [Eds: Aw!]

The focal point of the night’s shenanigans, the Varsity Show preview, was the first act that actually seemed to get the message of the evening across to a sleep deprived audience: be excited. Despite the urging of the deans and the endless cheering of the OL’s, neither I, nor my fellow audience members, actually felt the power of the evening until the Varsity Show preview, as it impressed on us (or me, at least) the enormity of tradition that went in to that night’s presentation.

If the Varsity Show did not engage the entire audience, the final event of the evening was undeniably rallying for the Class of 2015: the procession up Broadway and through the 116^th street gates. Walking along Broadway between shrieking Orientation Leaders, smiling administrators, and absolutely dumbfounded bystanders impelled every member of the class in attendance to recognize that they are actually here and it actually does matter. Despite any earlier failings, mishaps, and unforeseen events, Class Act 2011 finally brought the Class of 2015 together in an undeniable aura of pride in being who we are.

Friends!!! via Wikimedia

The learning starts today. Gather with philosopher queen Christia Mercer (substitute for Lit Hum legend Gareth Williams in the graph) to pore over the Iliad that you’ve all finished weeks ago! Head over to Lerner, the big glass thing, at 2:30.

Graphic by Jon Hill

Our own class of 2015, apparently overeager to get their hands on the Masterpieces of Western Civilization, has thronged Bank Street Bookstore! We hope parents were not rude. Enjoy NSOP, children, and order books later! Amazon Student will get you your books cheap and lickety-split, or you can get them neatly packaged from the hip hands at Book Culture. For a full run-down of your options, check out Bwog’s Guide to the Book Market.

The sign, though it’s rife with improper capitalization and cries out for a serial comma, is not mean. If you need children’s books, BSB wants you there! For those of you with too much time on your hands, but too little eye-power, the full text comes after the jump.

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Don't be afraid to be yourself

Rise and shine freshpeople! Every day we’ll be checking in with you as you greet your first Columbia mornings. To aid us in this quest, we’ve dug up some of our most valuable archival treasure, Senior Wisdom, from throughout the ages. Have something to contribute? Try us (including you ’15ers!) at tips@bwog.com.

Cynthia Jennings, Director of NSOP, had this to report:

“As of 5 PM yesterday, we had 1168 first years who had moved into housing. We are waiting for 234 more to arrive.

Today is the move in day for our Transfer, Visiting, and Combined Plan students. We had a handful of those students who moved in yesterday, but we expect most of them will still be arriving today since this was their originally scheduled move in day.”

Wise words of the day, courtesy of Justin Grace, CC’09

Most of the lessons you’ll learn in life have already been summed up better by rappers your friends only like ironically. So don’t do that. Also, it is going to hurt a whole bunch to learn how uncool and unspecial and completely and totally dumb you are. It’s worth it. (Plus I think it never stops?)

Favorite NSOP memory, from George Olive, CC’08

I unwittingly participated in an attempt to burn down Hogan my first week of college. During NSOP, my RA recruited a group of us to help retrieve and carry a stolen fridge back from Hogan. When the negotiations soured, a hot-blooded member of the retrieval party set the offending suite’s name-placard on fire, unbeknownst to me (seriously). When the fire alarm went off and we realized what had happened, my RA freaked out and instructed us to leave immediately without telling the security guard, which we did. This, specifically, is what I got in trouble for. The RA and the excitable student were suspended and kicked out of housing, and I ended up with a year of disciplinary probation. At the time, I thought I was going to get kicked out. In my sentencing hearing, I remember feeling both genuinely terrified about this prospect and curious to know whether Kevin Shollenberger was sitting on a booster seat.

Bwog circa 2009 via Wikimedia