Ad

Search Results for: conspiracybwog

Feb

10

Written by

img February 10, 20183:30 pmimg 3 Comments

The jackets in question.

ConspiracyBwog is here to unpack Goosegate.

What We Know
In the late hours of the night on February 2nd, 2018, Kappa Delta Rho, henceforth referred to as KDR, threw a soiree of sorts at 548 W 114th St. Liquor flowed plentifully and music shook the banisters. Having attended myself, I can attest that ample coat hooks were NOT provided. An indiscriminate pile of downy Michael Kors, North Faces, and Canada Geese began to form to the side of the entryway. At approximately 1:33 am, lights were switched on and chaos ensued as people grabbed coats and were herded like sheep through the entryway.

The following morning, February 2nd, 2018, reports were issued that various coats had disappeared, presumably of the Canada Goose variety. Facebook commenters immediately jumped to the conclusion that the coats had been stolen, perhaps by one specific culprit. Such coats are valued at a whopping $925, prompting Bwog to question: perhaps these coat disappearances can’t be chalked up to a simple misunderstanding. Is KDR a front for Morningside Heights’ underground Canada Goose black market?

What We Don’t Know
Does KDR = Kanada goose Down jacket Robbers?

Where are the jackets going? Who took them? Was this a one-student job or is there an insurgent force of Canada Geese hunters and huntresses? Of course, this could also this be superhuman, a Hand of God stealing from the bourgeoisie and redistributing the Canada Geese into the wild.

Read more about GooseGate after the jump

Dec

9

Written by

img December 09, 20174:30 pmimg 3 Comments

Glad this album cover has single-handedly supported the St. A’s butler

Those who have walked through the foyer of the fateful house belonging to the members of St. Anthony’s hall often have a common question: how do these children fund the ridiculous inner workings of that townhouse? Staff writer Megan Wylie looked into the possibilities of how the ‘elite’ society gets its chump change.

Theory 1: They are still collectively living off of the Vampire Weekend proceeds they were promised in exchange for the band using the chandelier as the cover for their titular album debut.

Theory 2: They have been secretly frequenting the black market to sell the Rolexes that their pledges are allegedly forced to buy and throw in the Hudson.

Theory 3: They force members to donate a Canada goose jacket so they can turn them into overpriced luxury pillows.

Theory 4: They have been renting their secret pool to Upper West Side parents looking for bougie birthday parties for their eight-year-olds.

More very real possibilities after the jump.

Sep

8

Written by

img September 08, 20181:19 pmimg 0 Comments

Seriously, whatever you want

If Daily Editors are the structure that keeps Bwog running, Staff Writers are the steering wheel that drives us to new places. They write our articles, from lecturehops to student interviews to conspiracy theories. They develop new avenues for our content, like sports recaps, a science advice column, and Cooking with Bwog. They investigate serious campus issues, and they also sometimes wax poetic about strange objects found in Carman stairwells.

Basically, Staff Writers are the heart of Bwog’s content. The job of a Staff Writer is to write ten posts (or more!) each semester, attend weekly meetings (every Sunday at 9 pm in Lerner 510), and contribute to other staffers’ ideas through our email listserv and Slack server. Unlike other publications, Bwog does not ask Staff Writers to specialize in one content area. Rather, we encourage our writers to write about whatever interests them, and try out everything – events, arts, science, sports, shortforms – regardless of previous experience. However, if you are interested in one particular area, feel free to email an editor (emails for all of our editors can be found on our masthead) and ask about it!

To become a Staff Writer, fill out the application below and send it to editors@bwog.com by 11:59 pm on Friday, September 14. Applications should be submitted in the form of a .PDF document titled “*First Name* App.” But before you send in your app, you should come to our first open meeting tomorrow to find out more about how Bwog works.

If you’d like to write for Bwog, but aren’t sure you can commit to weekly meetings and ten posts a semester – that’s cool, too! Anyone who comes to an open meeting and pitches a story is welcome to guest write for us. We’ll talk more about this process at tomorrow’s meeting, too.

The application is after the jump:

Apr

13

Written by

img April 13, 20189:19 pmimg 0 Comments

Make a wish, Timmy!

Looking for comedy that has nothing to do with making fun of Trump/Paul Ryan/politics? Look no further than Latenite’s Spring Anthology 2018. Senior Staffer Abby Rubel gives her thoughts on the production.

Latenite’s Spring Anthology is a night of sketch comedy. The shortest sketch is probably under a minute; none are longer than about 20 minutes. All are humorous (even the weaker plays have their moments), and all are written by students.

Like most student productions, it started late; but in all fairness, they warn you in the title. According to the “About Latenite” section of the program, this is because the debauchery that takes place has to wait “until after the watchful eyes of Prudence and Sensibility [have] taken their nightly repose.” (I suspect it’s so people have time to get sufficiently tipsy before the performance, but tomay-to, tomah-to.)

The production began with “Blow,” written by Henrietta Steventon (CC ’18) and directed by Hannah Kaplan (CC ’18). “Blow” set the tone for the night well: it was short, to the point, and funny. Hope Johnson, BC ’21, was particularly good as a young boy who wouldn’t look up from his gaming device. My one quibble with this play is that it was possible to see the punchline coming, a common issue throughout the night.

“Dial G For Goose” was next in the lineup, written and directed by Annie Surman (CC ’18) with an assist from Dylan Dameron, CC ’20. When a girl loses her Canada Goose jacket at a frat party, who is to blame? The detective (played by a delightful Avery Park, CC ’20) aims to find out by interrogating suspects like “The Vegan,” “The Girl Who Is Literally Always Cold,” and “The Trust Fund Kid.” “Dial G” played off Columbia stereotypes without being obvious or obnoxious about it, but the play was clearly inspired by this incident. It was also probably the most quotable sketch in the lineup, containing gems like “I’m more of an armchair vegan,” and “Why bring a Goose to a fraternity soiree?” Plus, the shitty dancing is not to be missed, especially given how accurately it parodies any EC party ever.

More debauchery after the jump!

Mar

9

Written by

img March 09, 20184:15 pmimg 5 Comments

Previously a critic of St. A’s, Bwogger Megan Wylie has stopped kidding herself and conceded that maybe – just maybe – they’re alright. 

I’m not quite sure why, but I have found myself writing two critical articles about St. A’s when in reality, I don’t have a problem with the group. Maybe the resentment is rooted in my subconscious due to the fact that I went to a B-list New York private school. Whatever the cause, this post is apologetic in its nature. I don’t want to criticize their spitting of a pig or the over-the-top themes; instead, I am here to give credit where credit is due. Of all the parties I have attended at this university, I have to say the playlist at the last St. A’s party was bomb.

Just imagine the security guard begrudgingly waiting in the foyer

It was definitely the whitest playlist that I have heard, but there was something about Taylor Swift’s ‘Lovestory’ played after ‘Knock You Down’ followed by ‘Unwritten’ that really brought out my best. I could have done without Vampire Weekend playing in the same room where their album was shot, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was an ironic gesture. Somewhere between ‘Hot N Cold’ and ‘Toxic’, I found myself jumping up and down and being handed a polaroid by someone I have never met. It was during ‘Mr. Brightside’ that I discovered an ‘Eyes Wide Open’ mask which would haunt my dreams later that night. A friend and I proceeded to jump up and down with a champagne bottle and an excessive amount of sweat that blurred the make-shift Harry Potter scar I had drawn in lipstick, and aggressively screamed along to the lyrics. We were so energetic in fact that my Apple watch chimed in that I had done my daily amount of exercise–a task that does not get completed when I’m in the secluded back booth of 1020 watching reruns of ‘Divorce.’

Anyway, the playlist made the trek….who am I kidding? the Uber down to Riverside Drive in the middle of a storm worth it. It brought me back to the days of middle school, with math teachers pulling apart preteens awkwardly grinding to T.I.’s ‘Whatever You Like.’

Photo courtesy of New York Big Apple Images

© 2006-2015 Blue and White Publishing Inc.