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img November 09, 20186:07 pmimg 0 Comments

Bad poetry, good times.

Sassy young Newsletter Editor Zoe Sottile thought the Philolexian Society was fake until last night. But, goaded on by some friends and her journalistic curiosity, she attended the Society’s 33rd Annual Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest. 

I’ve never felt more like a liberal arts student than arriving at Havemeyer 309 last night to listen to intentionally bad poetry.  There were multiple adults wearing bowties in the room. The leading members of the Philolexian Society wore judicial robes and periodically sipped from flasks or juuled into a Mr. Potato head. A New York Times reporter and photographer floated around the room; one of my friends asked if their presence “was a scam”.

Before the poetry began, a few old orders of business were presented. Impresario Alex Grace CC ’21 introduced the three judges: Anne Prescott, Emerita Helen Goodhart Altschul Professor of English at Barnard; Christopher Baswell, joint English professor at Barnard and Columbia; and Melissa Fusco, professor of philosophy at Columbia. Members encouraged the audience to submit to the society’s literary magazine at for the chance to win cash prizes! Check it out.

Then, Thomas Vinciguerra, CC ’85, who helped revive Philo in the 1980s, read a brief history of Alfred Joyce Kilmer CC ‘1908 and his “trite, corny, and sentimental” poetry. The poet died in 1985. Vinciguerra proclaimed that, “he celebrated life, we celebrate him.”

Finally, it came time for the bad poems. What follows is a brief recounting of each poem. The winners are noted by stars. The poems were bad. Their performance and their poets’ dedication was impressive.

But what were the poems?



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img November 01, 20187:19 pmimg 2 Comments

A hottie with a body.

There are a lot of ways to find out who you are: you can read your horoscope, take the Myers-Briggs test, get your palms read. Or, you can read this post and find out what your preferred seating in the brand spanking new Milstein Center reveals about you. 

The green chairs by the windows: You’re going to fall asleep. You’ve fooled yourself by thinking that you’re going to be productive at the library. But you are just that: a fool. Have fun napping with the sweet afternoon sun on your face.

The big blue couch things: Honestly you’re a mystery. Who sits here? Are you supposed to sit horizontally or vertically? I don’t know! Right now I can see some people sitting there and they look nice, I guess.

The V-benches: You’re hot. We get it! You look really good today and you want everyone to see.

Tables on the second floor: You! Are! Cruising! When you walk through the turnstiles the noise makes everyone look up so they know you are on the market, baby. You sit at a table with other people and watch literally everyone walk by. You are a single woman on the prowl. Maybe a recent divorcee.




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img September 16, 20183:33 pmimg 0 Comments

A messenger pigeon departing to deliver you your copy of BwogLetter.

Have you ever wanted the experience of skimming through Bwog’s articles, condensed into a weekly email? Do you want to prepare for the upcoming highlights of each week’s posts? Do you crave Bwog’s steamy presence in your inbox every week?

If so, sign up for Bwog’s newsletter! A new initiative, BwogLetter will features highlights of the week past, sneak-peeks of the upcoming week, updates on ongoing stories, and other miscellaneous goodies straight from the brains of Bwogstaff! The first newsletter will go out TONIGHT. Don’t miss itHere’s the link again one more time, just in case. And feel free to let us know in the comments what you want to see in Bwog’s newsletter.


look it’s us via Wikimedia Commons.



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img September 07, 201812:22 pmimg 0 Comments

Bwog cuties in the flesh!

Today is Columbia’s Activities Fair, when hundreds of Columbia’s clubs and organizations put out their biggest banners and bowls of candy to attract new members. Stop by College Walk from 12 pm to 4 pm – you’ll know you’re in the right place by the sea of first-years and folding tables.B

And be sure to say hi to Bwog! We’ll be at table 43. Say hi and sign up for our email list! It’ll make us feel good about ourselves. And you’ll get updates about our upcoming applications for writers and editors.

Image via Bwogstaff.




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img September 07, 20189:39 amimg 1 Comments

Wholesome Columbia student featured doing her homework on her first weekend back!

First week of classes is over! Take some time to relax and celebrate with this Friday’s Bwoglines. 

Happening in the World: On Thursday night, controversial Brazilian presidential candidate Jair Bolsonaro was stabbed during a campaign event. The candidate is currently in intensive care. (New York Times)

Happening in the US: Quirky freshmen, this one’s for you: increased scooter use has led to an increase in emergency room visits. Stay safe out there. (Washington Post)

Happening in NYC: According to residents of Throggs Neck Houses, a housing development in the Bronx, NYCHA staff “ignored vital repairs” and neglected their responsibilities to indulge in “steamy on-the-clock sex parties”. Nice! (New York Daily News)

Happening on Campus: Activities Day! Stop by Low Plaza from 12 pm to 4 pm to sign up for some new clubs. And come say hi to Bwog!

Overheard: “Yeah, so what we didn’t match on Tinder, but I have BANGS now!”

Image via Bwog Archives.



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img August 21, 201810:36 amimg 3 Comments


Do you hear that? No, listen closer. No, even closer. It’s quiet. But it’s coming. It’s getting louder and louder. It’ll be here sooner than you think. It’s…the beautiful, violent sounds of hundreds of blue bins rolling across campus, carting the fresh IKEA bean bags and Urban Outfitters tapestries of hundreds of new students as they move in to their new dorms. That’s right, NSOP is just around the corner!

The 2018-2019 NSOP schedule was recently released via Guidebook, a handy app that will help all you newbies keep track of your strictly scheduled opportunities for learning and bonding. There’s one schedule on Guidebook for CC and SEAS students, one for Barnard students, and one for GS students – just search to find your school. The theme is “Find Your Groove”. So, get grooving kiddos.

nslop after the jump



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img May 02, 201810:48 amimg 0 Comments

Whether it’s Coney Island or Low Beach, take some time in the sun.

Bwogline: Ukraine has halted its cooperation with Robert Mueller’s investigation. The investigation in Ukraine focused on Paul Manafort’s financial fraud; Ukraine is dependent on the U.S. for military aid, aka big anti-tank missiles, and is scared of upsetting the Trump administration by cooperating. (New York Times)

Study Tip: Self-care, y’all! Which doesn’t mean just doing a face mask or watching Grey’s Anatomy. Actual productive self-care means eating three healthy meals a day and getting enough sleep that you’re not a zombie. Take some time for yourself everyday and your studying will be more productive.

Procrastination Tip: Instead of studying for your LitHum exam, read about what should be in the LitHum syllabus instead.

Music:  Cute, upbeat bop!

Overheard: “I’m taking a mental health trip to the beach. Well, I’m still bringing my homework. So not really a mental health trip.”

Image via Pixabay.



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img April 25, 20183:00 pmimg 0 Comments

summer! so close but so far

Spunky young GSSC Bureau Chief Zoe Sottile brings you the latest and greatest from General Studies Student Council. As always, GSSC meets at 8:15 pm on Tuesday nights in the Satow Room.

This was the last GSSC General Body of the year! Lots of updates, lots of co-sponsorship requests, so little time. And, as usual, there was food.

Dean Rosen-Metsch

New GS Dean Lisa Rosen-Metsch made it a goal to attend GSSC once a month; last night’s meeting marked her fourth such visit. She gave shout-outs to GSSC’s success with the gala and encouraged students to take the Student Well-Being Survey.

Dean Rosen-Metsch spoke mostly about her efforts to improve GS’s financial aid and food security last night. She described financial aid as her “highest budget priority” and mentioned the setting aside of a budget next year specifically dedicated to alleviating student food insecurity. When a student asked what her highest priority was for improving student aid, she named GS’s endowment. She stated a desire to “ensure the financial viability of GS going forward” as well as ultimately “meet the full financial need of students”. GS is unique among the undergraduate colleges in that it doesn’t need to hire its own professors. Thus, essentially all of the profits of the endowment go towards increasing financial aid.

Dean Rosen-Metsch also mentioned her dedication to social justice issues, specifically naming the college’s partnership with the Center for Justice. The center is looking to create more educational opportunities for people who were formerly incarcerated; several GS deans are teaching or working at the center on that project and others.




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img April 18, 20182:22 pmimg 0 Comments

GSSC had cookies, guys. And they gave me one.

Newly crowned GSSC Bureau Chief Zöe Sottile swung by the Satow Room to cover this week’s meeting of General Studies Student Council. If you want to watch the drama and discourse yourself, check out GSSC at 8 pm on Tuesday nights. 

General! Studies! Student! Council! This is the week of elections, so get out there and rock the vote. Voting closes on Thursday; election results should be out by 5 pm then, with the exception of Senate elections which take longer because they require the input of the Premedical Association. Democracy makes the dream happen.

VP Campus Life: The Fun Stuff

GS Gala is this week! They still need volunteers to help set up the decor – GS students should’ve gotten an email soliciting volunteers, so respond if you want to help make Gala as beautiful as possible.

Campus Life moved to allocate $1,546.30 from the Campus Life Budget to the Senior Gift, since the senior class is larger than expected, requiring additional funding. The motion was approved.

Aaaaand there’s an upcoming event co-hosted by Barnard called We’d Like To Hang Again on April 20th (blaze it) from 1 to 5 pm. Campus Life moved to allocate $300 from its own budget for the event, so that they can rent tables and chairs in case it rains and people don’t want to sit on the wet grass. How considerate, Campus Life.

Keep reading and there’ll be a fight



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img April 18, 20189:12 amimg 0 Comments

According to my psych class, rats feel and demonstrate empathy for each other.

What’s Happening In The World: C.I.A. director and maybe-future-secretary-of-state Mike Pompeo reportedly met in secret in recent weeks with Kim Jong-Un in North Korea. This White House has relied on intelligence channels, rather than diplomatic means, to communicate with the nation. (New York Times)

What’s Happening In The Country: Barbara Bush, wife of the 41st president and mother of the 43rd, passed away last night at the age of 92 at her home in Houston. The elder Bushes were married for 73 years, making them the longest-married couple in presidential history. (New York Times)

What’s Happening In The City: Our beautiful city has launched a campaign to suffocate rats using dry ice in its ten most-infested New York City Housing Authority developments. If only we could get rid of the rats in the government! Hahahaha. (New York Daily News)

What’s Happening On Campus: SGA elections close! Barnard students, get your voice out there and vote. Also, it’s Palestinian Cultural Night in Roone at 8 pm.

Tinder Pickup Line Of The Day: “wanna make out? + home cooked dinner / Miyazaki movie?”

De Blasio’s newest victim via Wikimedia Commons.



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img April 11, 20181:13 pmimg 0 Comments

don’t worry, this image also triggers high school flashbacks of wearing business casual and shouting at other sweaty sixteen-year old virgins

It’s election season, and intrepid young GS bureau chief Zoe Sottile is bringing you the latest and greatest from GSSC’s candidates debate last night.

First of all, GSSC both had pizza and saved me a seat for the debates. Y’all, GSSC is truly the best. Each candidate had two minute to present their platform and then five minutes to respond to questions from the full and lively audience or the livestream.

VP Communications

We first heard from the three candidates for VP Communications, Karl Sully Guerrier GS ’20, Sitara Herur-Halbert GS ’19, and Biao Huan Foo GS ’20. Nicole Rogers, the current VP Comms, asked what the candidates’ plans were to actually engage students over the school year and if they had any previous website or coding experience. None of the candidates had any tech experience, which may present a problem for the Communications committee going forward. Guerrier focused in his responses on reaching out to students who feel “out of the loop”, suggesting that he set up tables in the lounge to reach out to students. In one of the spicier moments of the debate, Herur-Halbert, the current GSSC Social Media Representative, called Guerrier out for not reading her platform and made her own suggestions for having club events displayed on the TV in the GS lounge, as well as making display boards in the lounge and Lewisohn. She also proposed expanding the tech team that supports Communications as well as starting two weekly video series called Weekly Skim and Dear PrezBo. Foo discussed the possibility of a design competition for online visuals to get students more involved. When questioned about past difficulties in recruiting students to provide tech support for GSSC, Foo suggested that recruitment go beyond GS and include students from other schools.




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img April 11, 20189:06 amimg 0 Comments

big nerd

What’s Happening In The World: Twenty were killed yesterday after an attempted mass escape led by gunmen at a prison in northern Brazil led to a gun battle with the police. Nineteen of the deceased have been identified as prisoners or their supporters. (New York Times)

What’s Happening In The Country: Yesterday, sweet baby Mark Zuckerberg sat in his adult booster seat and testified before senators on Facebook’s mishandling of user data. Sucks to Zuck, am I right guys. (New York Times)

What’s Happening In The City: A woman’s butchered torso was found in a park in Brooklyn. The victim has not yet been identified. (New York Daily News).

What’s Happening On Campus: As part of Day 3 of Academic Freedom Week, three scholars are talking about academic antifascism in Pupin 301 at 7:10. Alternately, Columbia Economics Society is hosting a presentation from Citibank’s Sales and Trading Division department in Schermerhorn 614 at 8. Pick your poison!

Tinder Pickup Line Of The Day: “what drugs are you trying to buy”

Image via Wikimedia Commons.



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img April 04, 20189:51 amimg 0 Comments

Unfortunately for Andrew on Tinder, I don’t eat meat.

What’s Happening In The World: In Kenya, LGBT rights groups have petitioned a court in Nairobi to abolish legal provisions that outlaw gay sex. Their case, if successful, would mark a legal landmark in Africa and might spark change across nations with similar laws. (Washington Post)

What’s Happening In The Country: Yesterday afternoon, three people were injured, one critically, by a shooting at YouTube’s headquarters in San Bruno, California. The shooter died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound; President Trump, per usual, has tweeted his “thoughts and prayers”. (New York Times)

What’s Happening In The City: A year from now, the L train is shutting down for repairs following damage from Hurricane Sandy. How will we post snap stories from thrift stores or indie pop concerts in Brooklyn? It remains unclear. (New York Times)

What’s Happening On Campus: From 4 to 7 pm, Columbia University Liberty in North Korea (CU LiNK) is transforming Low Plaza into an art exhibition showcasing Instagram posts that highlight the lives of women and children in North Korea. Check it out.

Tinder Pickup Line of the Day: “what are your thoughts on red lobster?”

Image via Wikimedia Commons.




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img March 29, 20187:01 pmimg 0 Comments

These could be yours at the first-year GS end of year celebration.

Bwog is back with weekly GSSC coverage! Staff writer Zoe Sottile went to check out the happenings at General Studies Student Council. 

This week drew a large audience at GSSC and with good reason: new dean Lisa Rosen-Metsch visited to give some updates and answer questions; the elections commission brought forward a few new candidates for its positions; and treasurer Eric Lunzer, who used to be an executive chef, catered a whole meal for everyone. You guys. GSSC is the best.

Rocking Out With Rosen-Metsch

This was Dean Rosen-Metsch’s third time visiting GSSC; she intends to come to one meeting every month. She discussed her pride in GS’s 463 student veterans – which is more than the entire rest of the Ivy League has combined. She also emphasized the importance of Columbia’s mental health initiatives, which are currently being spearheaded by Deantini. Here she brought up her own background in public health. Currently, she’s still continuing some of her own research on HIV / AIDS, and has brought on four GS students to help her.

She also discussed food insecurity, calling it “a symptom of financial distress and morally reprehensible for our students.” While she presented no immediate plan to solve the problem, she is working with Dean Hartford and Dean Rodgers to gather more data.

She addressed the feedback she’s heard from students before, which mostly concerns undergraduate research, building community across the four colleges, and global experiences. She’s working on trying to help GS students get involved in research early on, partnering more with the other undergraduate schools, and is very excited about the new dual-degree program with Trinity College in Dublin that starts next year. She currently co-chairs a committee on instruction with CC and is going to the next Barnard faculty meeting to introduce herself, decisions that she hopes will help build communication between the administrations of the different colleges.

Questions from the audience after the jump



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img March 28, 20183:38 pmimg 5 Comments

Roar, lion, roar.

Regular decisions admissions have finally spread their wings and flown free of their cage in the Admissions Office! Congratulations, class of 2022, you’re already making me feel old.

Decisions were released at 3 pm today. The usual fanfare and celebration could be witnessed as Admissions staff mailed out acceptance letters.

Columbia extended sweet admission offers to 2,214 high school seniors. The acceptance rate was 5.5%. The combined applicant pool for CC and SEAS was 8% larger than last year, making it the largest applicant pool in Columbia history.

See you soon, kids. Get a fake before you get to Morningside Heights and you’ll be the coolest frosh around. And hey, rush Bwog.

Image via Bwog Staff. 


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