Here are the weirdest and most memorable things we heard from the first week of classes, in our semesterly opening remarks compilation.

I’m a woman on a mission.

All the cool kids join Bwog.

Guest Writer Linus Glenhaber investigates what he assumes will be the next varsity sport.

It’s the battle of the goats, in Riverside Park.

You? Basing your life decisions off of your coffee addiction? never.

We’re back folks! If you missed the long lines in the dining hall, well, I guess you’re happy now.

Many of us are experiencing Columbia dorms for the first time, and we’re all rushing to make comparisons. Everyone’s busy making their own tier list it seems, so here’s one I’m sure you ALL were thinking about. 

Get a name change without taking the 1 to civil court.

From a Barnard Babe with too much to say.

It is no coincidence that Duolingo and Duo Security both start with “Duo,” as both are incredibly annoying.

The Classics department has shared with Bwog a definitely-for-sure-legitimate alternate translation of Homer’s epic.

Chargers of all shapes and sizes should be able to charge at NoCo!

Bwog, Religion, and You!!

Fellow Bwoggers ventured into the laundry rooms of their freshly moved-in dorms and noted just how incredibly scary they are. When every trip to the laundry room feels like a descent to hell, Bwog feels that it is necessary to rank each dorm by how likely you are to be found dead while laundering.