There are Martians in Morningside.

If your professor assigns these readings in the first week, run.

Please feel free to use these names as inspiration–just make sure to provide me with necessary monetary compensation for my immense creativity and intellect.

A time for vibes like no other.

Everyone did cool shit this summer, and with just a couple Columbia buzzwords, so did you.

You’ve seen Bwog mock other syllabi this week. Now prepare for Bwog’s very own comprehensive, official, totally real syllabus.

New semester, new conspiracy.

If you can’t find yourself, store-bought you is fine.

Attendance will be recorded.

Summer burned the brightest, but the darkness has consumed them.

Happy FDOC Barnumbia! What a day. It’s rainy, there are puddles everywhere, no one’s really sure what the mask mandates are, but, it’s still a great day! And, on this joyous occasion, Bwog attended classes. (Some more joyously than others…)

If you aren’t content living inside of a furnace, perhaps these tips and tricks for capitalizing on your ridiculously hot dorm will make these first few weeks back on campus a bit more bearable.

Everything is basically the same, we promise; it’s just slightly worse.

Whether you’ve just stepped foot on campus or you’re entering your final year, one senior has advice for tackling the first week of classes.

Managing Editor Grace Fitzgerald-Diaz closes out our annual houses and homes series from a bivy site on Mt. Stuart.