Author Archive

Sep

16

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Maybe this week you’ll get to actually explore Morningside Park, instead of just drunkenly staring at it from an 18th floor EC window.

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

On campus: 

  • This Friday, the Maison Française is hosting The Hear and Now: An Unorthodox Concert Experience. This event, starting at 7:30 pm and free with RSVP, showcases student work in the realm of music, sound arts, choreography, electronics, and more.
  • This Monday, starting at 7 pm in the Sulzberger Parlor, The Heyman Center for Humanities is hosting Women Poets at Barnard. Donna Masini, Sharon Olds, and Brittany Perham will be there discussing and exploring their new poetry.
  • Also this Monday, at 6:30 pm in Avery Hall, GSAPP is presenting a lecture by Meng Yan, the Principal in charge of Design at Urbanus. Urbanus is a progressive architectural firm in China that aims to solve urban problems through creative and efficient architecture.

In the neighborhood: 

  • It’s time for every MoHi resident’s favorite time of the year, Morningside Lights! This year’s theme is Secret Gardens, illuminating the history of and love for MoHi’s beautiful parks. Stop by Miller Theatre during the week to help construct a lantern, then join the procession through Morningside Park next Saturday starting at 8 pm.

Off campus:

  • The Studio Museum in Harlem is currently presenting Their Own Harlemsa tribute to artist Jacob Lawrence during the 100th anniversary of his birth year. The exhibition showcases art by over 15 different artists as they explore what it means to traverse through the city, each person’s journey distinctly their own.
  • Head on down to the MoMA PS1 gallery in Queens to see Ian Chengs’ Emissaries, a three-part live work created using a video game platform. The exhibition explores the open-endedness of the human experience as we all live through chaotic events together. But make sure to stop by soon, this exhibit closes on September 24!

Morningside pic via Wikipedia

Sep

13

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No Columbia boys allowed. (JUST KIDDING)

Good morning, Columbia! Hopefully by now all your classes are getting a bit more settled and you’re starting to (somewhat) get your shit together. But if not, then it’ll happen soon… hopefully. Regardless, here’s today’s Bwoglines.

Happening in the nation: People living in the Caribbean are now dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Irma; they’re currently facing a dire shortage of food and water. Here’s how you can help.

Happening in NYC: Incumbent Mayor Bill de Blasio won the Democratic primary last night for this year’s mayoral election with an overwhelming 74.6% of votes.

Happening on campus: Tonight from 7:30 to 8:30 pm in Roone Auditorium is the Community Impact Open House. Stop by to explore the plethora of volunteer service clubs at Columbia that are dedicated to giving back to Morningside Heights. There will also be pizza!

Overheard in Diana: “Wait, are you sure I’m allowed to be in here?” -a Columbia boy.

Check out this video of Jenny Slate talking about smoking weed at Columbia. 

 

The Diana Center via Barnard

Sep

11

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Where you’ll inevitably get into a drunken fight with your froomie.

Now that we’ve all been back on campus for a few weeks, roommate troubles are starting to become apparent (how’s that ten person suite, Carman?). You don’t get along, your room is constantly sticky, and their taste in music sucks. Here’s some advice on what to do if you hate your roommate. 

  • Steal those red velvet walkway dividers from the Lerner ramp outside Ferris. Put them up in the middle of your room so that there is a clear divide between your side of the room and theirs.
  • Cover all your furniture in plastic wrap like old people. That way, when your roommate pukes all over your bed, it’s easy cleanup.
  • Passive aggressively always leave the door open whenever you leave the room instead of closing it behind you. Tell your roommate it’s because you’re just trying to create a more open atmosphere in your suite.
  • Keep using their shampoo. It’s your way of milking off them while still keeping it (somewhat) discreet.
  • Get a significant other so that you can just spend the night at their place. Then come back every morning at 8 am and loudly rummage through your drawers before taking a really long shower where you use all the hot water.
  • Listen to music on your headphones so as not to disturb your roommate. But, don’t forget to turn the volume all the way up so they can still hear the twangy rumblings of your Spotify Daily Mix 2 as they try to fall asleep.
  • Label everything, so that they don’t try to steal your stuff. Simply take a Sharpie and write “MINE” on every single one of your possessions.
  • Study at really odd hours of the day. Insist on turning on the lamp at 4 am so you can catch up on the Odyssey. Maybe this will persuade your roommate to just give you their notes instead so you can turn the damn light off and they can go the fuck to sleep.
  • Never replace the toilet paper roll in the bathroom. Just leave the new roll propped up on the empty toilet paper holder. This will assert your dominance as The Worst.
  • Come back to the room super drunk at 2 am every single Friday night. Wake your roommate up by stumbling over everything and loudly puking in the bathroom. This way they’ll know how Fun™ you are.
  • Finally, if worst comes to worst, have an honest and open conversation with your roommate. Try to come up with compromises and solutions that are fair for both of you. Maybe even ask your RA for help mediating. This is the last resort!

Carman Hall it doesn’t get better via Columbia Housing

Sep

9

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Morningside Lights?

New York City is packed with amazing culture and inspiring art, but sometimes it’s difficult to break the Morningside-bubble and experience it all first-hand. “Where Art Thou” is a weekly guide to interesting and notable lectures, events, and performances for the literary/musically/theatrically-inclined on campus.

Since classes just started, there aren’t any student performances happening for a while. But don’t worry, you can still get your (free!) dose of arts anywhere you’d like…

On campus this week:

  • Meet at Low Library on Monday, September 11 for a guided historical tour of Columbia’s campus. You’ll learn about the stunning architecture and beautiful sculptures all over campus, and maybe even catch up on a few urban legends. Any and all are welcome!
  • Tuesday night at 6 pm is the opening of the Harriman Institute and the Durdy Bayramov Art Foundation’s new exhibit in the International Affairs Building. The exhibit, Through the Eyes of Durdy Bayramov: Turkmen Village Life, 1960–80s, showcases photographs of Bayramov’s life growing up in Turkmenistan.
  • Also Tuesday night is the Argus Quartet playing at Miller Theatre. Admission is free to see this world renowned string quartet on campus!
  • Frank Lloyd Wright is coming to Wallach Art Gallery! This new exhibit explores the connections between Wright and Harlem. It will be there until mid December, but head on over soon to be one of the first to see this incredible exhibit.

Downtown:

  • Starting on September 13, head on over to the Met Breuer to see Delirious, an exhibit exploring American, Latin American, and European artists. Admission is free with your CUID!
  • The Museum of the City of New York is opening an exhibit on aqueducts. Yes, you read that right. To Quench the Thirst of New Yorkers features letters and drawings from the time of the Croton Aqueduct’s construction. Admission is free with your CUID.

Coming up:

Cute lights pic via Columbia

Sep

8

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Fuck sticking to the status quo

For all you first years out there, the memories of high school are just a few months old. However, for the rest of us, those days seem long forgotten. So for those of you just arriving on campus who have yet to redefine yourselves, here’s a handy dandy guide to some cool clubs you should consider based on your high school stereotype. 

If you were a theater kid…

If you were a theater kid in high school, odds are you were extroverted, nerdy, loud, and artsy. Unfortunately, theater life at Columbia isn’t super impressive. Because of this (unless you sell out to the Varsity Show), try going for an acapella group or even Columbia University Sketch Show (CUSS). You can keep up that dramatic lifestyle while gaining a little bit of street cred.

If you were a sk8er kid…

Try showing up to an ADP party. Make sure you don’t forget your cigarettes. If my calculations are correct, you’ll fit right in. Your high school self will transition seamlessly into your college self, albeit with a heavier dose of imposter syndrome. You’ll spend most of your time in Brooklyn and start lying about where you’re actually from.

If you were a jock…

You miss Texas but are trying to act cool in the big city.  If you’re not already a football player, consider joining an intramural team. Also consider becoming a stoner, because those are the only fun kinds of athletes. Rush Kappa Delta Rho.

If you were a debate nerd…

Boy have we got the clubs for you! Join Columbia Debate. Columbia International Relations Council and Association (CIRCA). Or even Mock Trial. Buy a nicer suit, grab your encyclopedia, and get ready to make geopolitical problem solving your bitch. You will turn into a stronger, larger, and more capable version of your former self.

If you were in marching band…

Join CUMB. Enough said.

If you were that mysterious sexy outsider whom everybody secretly had a crush on…

You’re probably an incredible writer. You have a lot of personality but sometimes it lies below the surface. You have a very dry sense of humor that some people can’t handle, but you don’t really give a shit, because you know you’re funny. You’re too cool for your hometown and want to make it to New York someday. You should probably join Bwog.

Dance number image via E! Online

Sep

5

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Bored teen at a laptop with his head in his hand

How we felt while copy-pasting Excel cells

Over the summer, many of us were out there putting in hours at some swanky internship or job that we thought would change our professional aspirations forever. But that wasn’t quite the reality. These positions were often boring, uninspiring, and tedious. Staff Writer Sarah Kinney compiled a list of just some of the ridiculous shit our bosses forced us to do this summer. 

Kids are good with technology, right?

  • Delete duplicate cells in spreadsheets.
  • Show my boss how to copy and paste.
  • Show my boss how to duplicate a document on Word.
  • Show my boss how to use Google translate.

Insincerity is the root of accomplishment

  • Write a piece about urban development in the Middle East only to be told that it wasn’t going to be published because it was too controversial.
  • Fill out really BS personality tests.
  • Take notes in meetings I didn’t understand.

This isn’t what I meant by “networking”

  • Create a definitive map of where everyone in the whole company sits on every floor.
  • Find people’s LinkedIn profiles​.
  • Call doctors to see if they accept medicare.

Menial physical labor

  • Highlight textbooks.
  • Walk fifteen minutes both ways to print things.
  • Print things on legal size paper.
  • Deliver cigars and salsa to members of Congress.
  • Fold papers.
  • Staple papers.
  • Put papers into folders.
  • Take papers out of folders.
  • Shred papers.

Our face when via Devin Stein (Creative Commons)

Aug

22

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There’s officially less than one week until NSOP 2017! Which means that all you first years out there are currently lost in a sea of suitcases, socks, and sweaters. Moving into college is definitely stressful, especially when that college is in NYC. But, it’s also one of the most exciting times of your life… so here’s a hella boppin’ playlist to help get you through the next few days. See you soon!

Good ole Frankie Sinatra pic via Discogs

May

1

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The beautiful, ethereal Mitski

This was the second to last weekend of the semester, friends. And since most people will probably be spending this upcoming weekend packed in Butler, you might as well say it’s the last… RIP. Check out what everyone was up to. 

Peaceful, Artsy, Wholesome:

  • Went gallery hopping in Chelsea with the goal of getting onto as many rooftops as possible.
  • Went on a date with a boy all my friends thought was catfishing me. Turns out he’s real. And actually great! Take that, Nev Schulman.
  • Had an impromptu writing conference at the Met.
  • Went on a long journey with a timpani. (It was only from Riverside Park to Lerner, but it felt much longer.)
  • Was walking through while in South Williamsburg in a very Jewish neighborhood when a Hasidic man in full sabbath garb (including a huge fur hat) literally sprinted across the street to talk to us. He had locked himself out and the only way he could get back into his apartment was through the elevator which he couldn’t use because of it was Saturday. His six young daughters seemed shocked by how little clothing me and my friend were wearing (it was 85˚F), but the man was ecstatic to find probably the only non-jewish people in a six block radius to help him. To thank us he gave us tons of snacks and chips and stuff. And thus I learned the value of having an open mind and heart.
  • Went to Mitski concert. Got high after and walked through the streets of Brooklyn singing “First Love, Late Spring.”
  • Went to Coney Island.
  • Also went to Mitski concert. Cried.
  • Went to the beach.
  • Went home for the weekend and let my mother take care of me like a big baby.
  • Spent Friday night sober.
  • Quit smoking weed. Well, at least until my drug test.
  • Saw my very own choreography come to life on stage for the first time. Incredibly rewarding.

Only a wee bit messy (alright, maybe more):

  • Verbally abused a Varsity Show member on the street because of my disappointment in the quality of the show.
  • Cried on SO many trains because I was feeling dramatic and trains are the best place to cry.
  • Passed out from a mix of allergy meds and Xanax. Woke up on my couch naked with a Luna Bar.
  • Danced with the owner of a bar downtown and got an uncountable number of free drinks.
  • Got drunk and went to KCST Presents: As You Like It and had my first utterly enjoyable “up past 3 am” night of the year.
  • Got drunk incredibly quickly and tried to take my shirt off in Broadway after sweating profusely in Sig Ep.
  • Engaged in more drunk texting in one night than the rest of my almost two years at CU put together.
  • Obtained a Beta Theta Pi sweatshirt.
  • Met a Mexican tourist on his gap year at Mel’s, made out with him aggressively next to Alma, went to Times Square at 3 am with him, essentially ended up leaving him stranded there alone at 5:30 am with two bucks in his wallet and a dead phone and not knowing where his friend is.
  • Fretted over a boy, but went to Ruggles and drank wine and felt better.
  • Accidentally got on a bus going towards LaGuardia from Harlem instead of towards Columbia right as my phone died, ended up so lost in Queens that I had to take a cab home.
  • Complained about it being too hot to sleep, but took a three hour nap anyways.
  • Went to Maison Pickle to mourn the loss of Jacob’s Pickles and managed to get drunk on 2 cocktails.
  • Racked up a $35 tab at 1020 all on my own.
  • Didn’t start any of my homework until 9 pm on Sunday.

Image via Alma Veggie

Apr

16

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While living in the secluded oasis that is Morningside Heights certainly has its perks, one of its super shitty downsides is being wicked far away from everything. Like when that super cute and flirty NYU boy you’ve been messaging on Tinder invites you down to his neck of the woods. Boy, it’s 12:30 am! I ain’t about to take the subway all the way down to Greenwich alone! It’s moments like these where you could use a definitive map of how far is too far. Bwog is here to help you out. 

Morningside Heights

Stay within this circle.

So earlier in the week, you matched on Tinder with a super cute Columbia grad student. They’ve been hitting on you constantly for the past few days and finally, they invite you over to their place late on Thursday night. What the hell! you think. I’m gonna head over. But wait—before you leave your dorm, make sure you have clear instructions as to where their apartment is. Only if it’s within the circle will it be worth it. There’s only so many blocks any one person can walk for Thursday Tinder sex.

 

The rest of Manhattan

Read the instructions carefully.

Now here’s where it gets complicated. If they invite you to their highrise Lincoln Center Juilliard dorm, and if they’re really really cute, then sure; take the subway. But, if they’re any further than that, they better be pullin’ out their phones and calling you a Uber. No way you’re paying $30 to take an Uber all the way down to NYU. If they want you that badly, they can pay for the car. Oh, and same goes for the upper east side. I mean, if they’re inviting you to their apartment on the upper east side, odds are they can shell out $15 for an Uber. But beware, friends, because there is one forbidden zone: Brooklyn. If you even have your Tinder radius set high enough to include Brooklyn, you’re already asking for disaster. Even if they offer to pay for the Uber it’s still going to take a million years. Odds are they won’t even be feeling it anymore by the time you get to their place. It’s best to just stay away.

Apr

10

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If you weren’t at Bacchanal, maybe you were at Newark. Honestly, same level of zoo-ness.

Since we already posted a Bacchanal field notes, these field notes are slightly more… tame? I guess a little. Honestly, at this point, we’re just trying to remind ourselves that life exists outside of Bacchanal. Here’s our half-assed effort. 

There is only one section because literally everything this weekend was Bacchanal-related:

  • Woke up after 10 am on a Sunday for the first time this semester
  • Spent 45 minutes trying to get a bagel in Terminal C of Newark Liberty International Airport. I was not successful.
  • Emotionally bonded with a couple of people and it was very nice and wholesome.
  • Didn’t die.
  • Went to two pretentious/fancy events (the opera and a concert at Carnegie Hall) in two nights; fell asleep during both.
  • Decorated campus statues with balloons.
  • The girl sitting in front of me during my orgo midterm got sick and had to go to Health Services, and I didn’t even notice because I was so intently focused on my midterm.
  • Still trying to figure out what I said to my crush during Bacchanal.
  • Stole a pineapple from my high school’s alumni event.
  • Spilled a cupful of Ferris syrup all over my pants/jacket in middle of Bacchanal, went home to change.
  • Rode a scooter around 2nd floor of ADP.
  • Had volunteered to babysit 9am the morning after Bacchanal, but the mom cancelled at the last minute. God is real.
  • Definitely spoke to the head of CUAD while crossed on Saturday, not sure what I said other than that it included a message of support for the cause.
  • Purchased a bottle of wine to watch the Blair Witch Project with my friends; ended up being too scared to drink.
  • Made my roommate buy me a ham and cheese croissant at 2 am Sunday.
  • Watched the best food documentary I’ve ever seen – Season 2, Episode 1 of Chef’s Table. Check it out.
  • Witnessed a prospie down shots of tequila like water at a DOC party, was told “It’s okay, I partied in high school” when I expressed concern.
  • Went to Butler to write an outline for my lit hum paper. Ended up cranking out four pages.
  • Watched Citizenfour for my global core class and got so paranoid that I put a bandaid over the camera on my laptop.
  • Went to Times Square to meet up with a former hookup, made out on the red steps at midnight.

Image via EZ Ride

Apr

10

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This guy certainly had a wild day.

Hear, hear! It’s time to submit your wettest and wildest Bacchanal stories! Pictures, videos, extraordinarily detailed novellas… the more debaucherous the better. Send your stuff to tips@bwog.com and we’ll post our favorites ones soon! Think your Bacchanal had what it takes? There’s only one way to find out.

Apr

7

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Long hallways, easy to get lost…

Welcome to Furnald Hall, the hotel of campus! Furnald is quiet and beautiful, like a virgin swan. It’s a great option for first-years and sophomores who like to read in their room. Check it out!

Location: 2940 Broadway; inside main campus, between Lerner and Pulitzer

Nearby dorms: Carman, John Jay, Hartley, Wallach

Stores and restaurants: Morton Williams, Starbucks, International, Sweetgreen, M2M

Cost: $8,166/year for first years, standardized to $9,292/year for sophomores

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: Shared on each floor. 1-2 floors may be coed, 3rd floor and up are separate for men and women—however, each floor can also decide for the restrooms on that floor to be gender neutral. Each has three toilet stalls and three shower stalls.
  • AC/Heat: both!
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Lounge with kitchen and cable TV on every floor, huge gorgeous lounge on the main floor.
  • Laundry: Free in the basement
  • Computers/Printers: computer lab with printers on main floor
  • Gym: nope.
  • Intra-transportation: two elevators! and stairs, of course.
  • Wifi: Yes.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Carpet in the halls, hardwood in the rooms.
  • Facilities: Kitchens and bathrooms cleaned every weekday. Trash is the responsibility of the resident.
  • Bonus: I mean, have you seen the lobby?

What more of this beautifully unattainable dorm for sophomores?

Apr

6

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Pretty marble staircase in the lobby.

Welcome to Carlton Arms, friends. The name sounds like a 19th style bar you’d find in the English countryside, and honestly, the dorm isn’t too far off from that reverie. It’s a million blocks away from the rest of civilization and everything is made of marble (well, in the lobby at least). Let’s check it out! 

Location: 362 Riverside Drive (between 108th and 109th)

Nearby dorms: Harmony is over on 110th between Broadway and Amsterdam, but other than that, you’re pretty alone.

Stores and restaurants: Rite Aid, Chipotle, West Side Market, Starbucks

Cost: Standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: two private bathrooms per suite (one men’s, one women’s)
  • AC/Heat: Yes heat. No AC.
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Kitchen and lounge in every suite.
  • Laundry: Free in basement.
  • Computers/Printers: PawPrint station in lobby.
  • Gym: No gym. But honestly, the walk from 109th and Riverside to campus is exercise enough.
  • Intra-transportation: Two elevators and a pretty spiral staircase.
  • Wifi: Yes ma’am.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Carpet in main suite area, linoleum in bathrooms, wood in bedrooms.
  • Facilities: Bathrooms and kitchens cleaned once weekly, trash and recycling taken out every day.
  • Bonus: Bike storage in the basement!

Read on for more about Carlton Arms!

Mar

29

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With regular decision results for the class of 2021 being released very soon, we made a bingo board for the things that these prospective students will do and say in the class Facebook group or group chat. Enjoy! 

bingo board image via https://www.flickr.com/photos/cheryl0920/6015159494

Mar

20

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What’s YOUR housing lottery number?

The day has arrived: housing lottery numbers are out. Whether you’ve been counting down to this day or utterly dreading its arrival, there’s no denying that Lottery Day will change your life forever. Or, for the next year, at least. So to make this day a little bit better, we’ve written up a handy dandy guide of how to identify kids in your seminar based on their housing numbers. Enjoy. 

So, you finally have your housing number. Are you in the top chosen 100? Somewhere in the middle? The dreaded number 3000?! We know you’re out there somewhere. We also know that as soon as everyone gets their lottery number, they immediately let it go to their head. Sometimes so much that they even become a part of you… a part of your deepest personality. So much so that suddenly you can automatically assume the housing number of every kid in your 18th century literature seminar just by the look in their eye. Here is comprehensive guide to help you verify your guess.

1-100:

Alright, we get it. You went to Exeter. You spent spring break at your grandmother’s chateau in southern France. And, by the looks of it, your housing selection for this year may be just as nice. Every time you raise your hand to sprew off some vague, faux-Enlightenment answer, I am now going to resent you even more. Something I never thought was possible.

101-750: 

Wow, don’t you look so pretty today. Your hair is just perfect. Oh, is that a new sweater? Of course it is. This brunette bombshell has perfected the art of looking like she Woke Up Like This, and her housing number shows it. She’s just shuffled enough to not be too flawless, but damn is she still lucky. Every time she speaks up in class, her words are eloquent and kind. Her voice sounds like a princess deepthroated some daisies. Have fun in Sulz Tower, bitch.

751-1500:

Could be better. Could be worse. He’s wearing a Neutral Milk Hotel t-shirt under his unwashed flannel and his hair is falling in his eyes. He’s by no means a poster child for excellence, but there’s still something about him that’s undeniably curious. When he raises his hand, he speaks with a smoker’s voice about how capitalism is crushing everything and nothing is actually “real.” He’ll probably end up on the top floor of EC with a suite he’ll hotbox every night.

1501-2000: 

Ahhh, the averageness is just palpable. Refreshing, almost. You know you don’t have much to compete with. You can tell they haven’t read the book, but that’s okay, because you haven’t either. When the teacher goes off on an unnecessary tangent, you often make eye contact from across the room and share a collective sigh. They’re quiet, but you can also tell that they’re anything but dumb. They’ll end up with a calm single somewhere with a nice view that they’ll decorate with lots of copper string lights bought on sale at Marshall’s.

2001-3000: 

Late to class. Again. He makes no effort to hide the fact that he hasn’t read the book. Claims he read it in high school, but honestly, even if that were true, it wouldn’t make a difference. If he’s not on his phone under his desk then he’s asleep in the back row. But as much as you try to be annoyed by him, you can’t help but relate… just a little. We’ve all been there. Maybe it’s not his fault he got stuck in his class. Maybe he just needed one more global core. Nevertheless, catch him in Plimpton. He had no other choice.

Image via Columbia Housing

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