Author Archive

May

1

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The beautiful, ethereal Mitski

This was the second to last weekend of the semester, friends. And since most people will probably be spending this upcoming weekend packed in Butler, you might as well say it’s the last… RIP. Check out what everyone was up to. 

Peaceful, Artsy, Wholesome:

  • Went gallery hopping in Chelsea with the goal of getting onto as many rooftops as possible.
  • Went on a date with a boy all my friends thought was catfishing me. Turns out he’s real. And actually great! Take that, Nev Schulman.
  • Had an impromptu writing conference at the Met.
  • Went on a long journey with a timpani. (It was only from Riverside Park to Lerner, but it felt much longer.)
  • Was walking through while in South Williamsburg in a very Jewish neighborhood when a Hasidic man in full sabbath garb (including a huge fur hat) literally sprinted across the street to talk to us. He had locked himself out and the only way he could get back into his apartment was through the elevator which he couldn’t use because of it was Saturday. His six young daughters seemed shocked by how little clothing me and my friend were wearing (it was 85˚F), but the man was ecstatic to find probably the only non-jewish people in a six block radius to help him. To thank us he gave us tons of snacks and chips and stuff. And thus I learned the value of having an open mind and heart.
  • Went to Mitski concert. Got high after and walked through the streets of Brooklyn singing “First Love, Late Spring.”
  • Went to Coney Island.
  • Also went to Mitski concert. Cried.
  • Went to the beach.
  • Went home for the weekend and let my mother take care of me like a big baby.
  • Spent Friday night sober.
  • Quit smoking weed. Well, at least until my drug test.
  • Saw my very own choreography come to life on stage for the first time. Incredibly rewarding.

Only a wee bit messy (alright, maybe more):

  • Verbally abused a Varsity Show member on the street because of my disappointment in the quality of the show.
  • Cried on SO many trains because I was feeling dramatic and trains are the best place to cry.
  • Passed out from a mix of allergy meds and Xanax. Woke up on my couch naked with a Luna Bar.
  • Danced with the owner of a bar downtown and got an uncountable number of free drinks.
  • Got drunk and went to KCST Presents: As You Like It and had my first utterly enjoyable “up past 3 am” night of the year.
  • Got drunk incredibly quickly and tried to take my shirt off in Broadway after sweating profusely in Sig Ep.
  • Engaged in more drunk texting in one night than the rest of my almost two years at CU put together.
  • Obtained a Beta Theta Pi sweatshirt.
  • Met a Mexican tourist on his gap year at Mel’s, made out with him aggressively next to Alma, went to Times Square at 3 am with him, essentially ended up leaving him stranded there alone at 5:30 am with two bucks in his wallet and a dead phone and not knowing where his friend is.
  • Fretted over a boy, but went to Ruggles and drank wine and felt better.
  • Accidentally got on a bus going towards LaGuardia from Harlem instead of towards Columbia right as my phone died, ended up so lost in Queens that I had to take a cab home.
  • Complained about it being too hot to sleep, but took a three hour nap anyways.
  • Went to Maison Pickle to mourn the loss of Jacob’s Pickles and managed to get drunk on 2 cocktails.
  • Racked up a $35 tab at 1020 all on my own.
  • Didn’t start any of my homework until 9 pm on Sunday.

Image via Alma Veggie

Apr

16

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While living in the secluded oasis that is Morningside Heights certainly has its perks, one of its super shitty downsides is being wicked far away from everything. Like when that super cute and flirty NYU boy you’ve been messaging on Tinder invites you down to his neck of the woods. Boy, it’s 12:30 am! I ain’t about to take the subway all the way down to Greenwich alone! It’s moments like these where you could use a definitive map of how far is too far. Bwog is here to help you out. 

Morningside Heights

Stay within this circle.

So earlier in the week, you matched on Tinder with a super cute Columbia grad student. They’ve been hitting on you constantly for the past few days and finally, they invite you over to their place late on Thursday night. What the hell! you think. I’m gonna head over. But wait—before you leave your dorm, make sure you have clear instructions as to where their apartment is. Only if it’s within the circle will it be worth it. There’s only so many blocks any one person can walk for Thursday Tinder sex.

 

The rest of Manhattan

Read the instructions carefully.

Now here’s where it gets complicated. If they invite you to their highrise Lincoln Center Juilliard dorm, and if they’re really really cute, then sure; take the subway. But, if they’re any further than that, they better be pullin’ out their phones and calling you a Uber. No way you’re paying $30 to take an Uber all the way down to NYU. If they want you that badly, they can pay for the car. Oh, and same goes for the upper east side. I mean, if they’re inviting you to their apartment on the upper east side, odds are they can shell out $15 for an Uber. But beware, friends, because there is one forbidden zone: Brooklyn. If you even have your Tinder radius set high enough to include Brooklyn, you’re already asking for disaster. Even if they offer to pay for the Uber it’s still going to take a million years. Odds are they won’t even be feeling it anymore by the time you get to their place. It’s best to just stay away.

Apr

10

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If you weren’t at Bacchanal, maybe you were at Newark. Honestly, same level of zoo-ness.

Since we already posted a Bacchanal field notes, these field notes are slightly more… tame? I guess a little. Honestly, at this point, we’re just trying to remind ourselves that life exists outside of Bacchanal. Here’s our half-assed effort. 

There is only one section because literally everything this weekend was Bacchanal-related:

  • Woke up after 10 am on a Sunday for the first time this semester
  • Spent 45 minutes trying to get a bagel in Terminal C of Newark Liberty International Airport. I was not successful.
  • Emotionally bonded with a couple of people and it was very nice and wholesome.
  • Didn’t die.
  • Went to two pretentious/fancy events (the opera and a concert at Carnegie Hall) in two nights; fell asleep during both.
  • Decorated campus statues with balloons.
  • The girl sitting in front of me during my orgo midterm got sick and had to go to Health Services, and I didn’t even notice because I was so intently focused on my midterm.
  • Still trying to figure out what I said to my crush during Bacchanal.
  • Stole a pineapple from my high school’s alumni event.
  • Spilled a cupful of Ferris syrup all over my pants/jacket in middle of Bacchanal, went home to change.
  • Rode a scooter around 2nd floor of ADP.
  • Had volunteered to babysit 9am the morning after Bacchanal, but the mom cancelled at the last minute. God is real.
  • Definitely spoke to the head of CUAD while crossed on Saturday, not sure what I said other than that it included a message of support for the cause.
  • Purchased a bottle of wine to watch the Blair Witch Project with my friends; ended up being too scared to drink.
  • Made my roommate buy me a ham and cheese croissant at 2 am Sunday.
  • Watched the best food documentary I’ve ever seen – Season 2, Episode 1 of Chef’s Table. Check it out.
  • Witnessed a prospie down shots of tequila like water at a DOC party, was told “It’s okay, I partied in high school” when I expressed concern.
  • Went to Butler to write an outline for my lit hum paper. Ended up cranking out four pages.
  • Watched Citizenfour for my global core class and got so paranoid that I put a bandaid over the camera on my laptop.
  • Went to Times Square to meet up with a former hookup, made out on the red steps at midnight.

Image via EZ Ride

Apr

10

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This guy certainly had a wild day.

Hear, hear! It’s time to submit your wettest and wildest Bacchanal stories! Pictures, videos, extraordinarily detailed novellas… the more debaucherous the better. Send your stuff to tips@bwog.com and we’ll post our favorites ones soon! Think your Bacchanal had what it takes? There’s only one way to find out.

Apr

7

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Long hallways, easy to get lost…

Welcome to Furnald Hall, the hotel of campus! Furnald is quiet and beautiful, like a virgin swan. It’s a great option for first-years and sophomores who like to read in their room. Check it out!

Location: 2940 Broadway; inside main campus, between Lerner and Pulitzer

Nearby dorms: Carman, John Jay, Hartley, Wallach

Stores and restaurants: Morton Williams, Starbucks, International, Sweetgreen, M2M

Cost: $8,166/year for first years, standardized to $9,292/year for sophomores

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: Shared on each floor. 1-2 floors may be coed, 3rd floor and up are separate for men and women—however, each floor can also decide for the restrooms on that floor to be gender neutral. Each has three toilet stalls and three shower stalls.
  • AC/Heat: both!
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Lounge with kitchen and cable TV on every floor, huge gorgeous lounge on the main floor.
  • Laundry: Free in the basement
  • Computers/Printers: computer lab with printers on main floor
  • Gym: nope.
  • Intra-transportation: two elevators! and stairs, of course.
  • Wifi: Yes.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Carpet in the halls, hardwood in the rooms.
  • Facilities: Kitchens and bathrooms cleaned every weekday. Trash is the responsibility of the resident.
  • Bonus: I mean, have you seen the lobby?

What more of this beautifully unattainable dorm for sophomores?

Apr

6

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Pretty marble staircase in the lobby.

Welcome to Carlton Arms, friends. The name sounds like a 19th style bar you’d find in the English countryside, and honestly, the dorm isn’t too far off from that reverie. It’s a million blocks away from the rest of civilization and everything is made of marble (well, in the lobby at least). Let’s check it out! 

Location: 362 Riverside Drive (between 108th and 109th)

Nearby dorms: Harmony is over on 110th between Broadway and Amsterdam, but other than that, you’re pretty alone.

Stores and restaurants: Rite Aid, Chipotle, West Side Market, Starbucks

Cost: Standardized to $9,292/year

Amenities:

  • Bathrooms: two private bathrooms per suite (one men’s, one women’s)
  • AC/Heat: Yes heat. No AC.
  • Kitchen/Lounge: Kitchen and lounge in every suite.
  • Laundry: Free in basement.
  • Computers/Printers: PawPrint station in lobby.
  • Gym: No gym. But honestly, the walk from 109th and Riverside to campus is exercise enough.
  • Intra-transportation: Two elevators and a pretty spiral staircase.
  • Wifi: Yes ma’am.
  • Hardwood/Carpet: Carpet in main suite area, linoleum in bathrooms, wood in bedrooms.
  • Facilities: Bathrooms and kitchens cleaned once weekly, trash and recycling taken out every day.
  • Bonus: Bike storage in the basement!

Read on for more about Carlton Arms!

Mar

29

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With regular decision results for the class of 2021 being released very soon, we made a bingo board for the things that these prospective students will do and say in the class Facebook group or group chat. Enjoy! 

bingo board image via https://www.flickr.com/photos/cheryl0920/6015159494

Mar

20

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What’s YOUR housing lottery number?

The day has arrived: housing lottery numbers are out. Whether you’ve been counting down to this day or utterly dreading its arrival, there’s no denying that Lottery Day will change your life forever. Or, for the next year, at least. So to make this day a little bit better, we’ve written up a handy dandy guide of how to identify kids in your seminar based on their housing numbers. Enjoy. 

So, you finally have your housing number. Are you in the top chosen 100? Somewhere in the middle? The dreaded number 3000?! We know you’re out there somewhere. We also know that as soon as everyone gets their lottery number, they immediately let it go to their head. Sometimes so much that they even become a part of you… a part of your deepest personality. So much so that suddenly you can automatically assume the housing number of every kid in your 18th century literature seminar just by the look in their eye. Here is comprehensive guide to help you verify your guess.

1-100:

Alright, we get it. You went to Exeter. You spent spring break at your grandmother’s chateau in southern France. And, by the looks of it, your housing selection for this year may be just as nice. Every time you raise your hand to sprew off some vague, faux-Enlightenment answer, I am now going to resent you even more. Something I never thought was possible.

101-750: 

Wow, don’t you look so pretty today. Your hair is just perfect. Oh, is that a new sweater? Of course it is. This brunette bombshell has perfected the art of looking like she Woke Up Like This, and her housing number shows it. She’s just shuffled enough to not be too flawless, but damn is she still lucky. Every time she speaks up in class, her words are eloquent and kind. Her voice sounds like a princess deepthroated some daisies. Have fun in Sulz Tower, bitch.

751-1500:

Could be better. Could be worse. He’s wearing a Neutral Milk Hotel t-shirt under his unwashed flannel and his hair is falling in his eyes. He’s by no means a poster child for excellence, but there’s still something about him that’s undeniably curious. When he raises his hand, he speaks with a smoker’s voice about how capitalism is crushing everything and nothing is actually “real.” He’ll probably end up on the top floor of EC with a suite he’ll hotbox every night.

1501-2000: 

Ahhh, the averageness is just palpable. Refreshing, almost. You know you don’t have much to compete with. You can tell they haven’t read the book, but that’s okay, because you haven’t either. When the teacher goes off on an unnecessary tangent, you often make eye contact from across the room and share a collective sigh. They’re quiet, but you can also tell that they’re anything but dumb. They’ll end up with a calm single somewhere with a nice view that they’ll decorate with lots of copper string lights bought on sale at Marshall’s.

2001-3000: 

Late to class. Again. He makes no effort to hide the fact that he hasn’t read the book. Claims he read it in high school, but honestly, even if that were true, it wouldn’t make a difference. If he’s not on his phone under his desk then he’s asleep in the back row. But as much as you try to be annoyed by him, you can’t help but relate… just a little. We’ve all been there. Maybe it’s not his fault he got stuck in his class. Maybe he just needed one more global core. Nevertheless, catch him in Plimpton. He had no other choice.

Image via Columbia Housing

Mar

6

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Make Bwog Great Again. lmao jk we’ve always been great.

One! More! Week! One more week until you’re off to Cabo or Amsterdam or New Jersey. You can do it. Just a few more midterms to go. Godspeed, my friend.

Happening in the nation: President Trump is once again off his knocker. This weekend, he tweeted an unfounded accusation at President Obama—that he “wiretapped” Trump Tower during the 2016 election cycle.

Happening in NYC: Over the weekend, hundreds gathered outside Trump Tower for a “March 4 Trump” in support of the President. Wow, what a creative and nuanced pun.

Happening on campus: Tonight from 5 to 7 pm the Columbia Mental Health Task Force will be in the Jerome Green Annex (located adjacent to Wien) to talk about University policy changes regarding how Columbia deals with mental health. Any and all are welcome to come, and dinner will be served.

Overheard: “…I can’t tell if this is pizza sauce or blood.”

We are all Max. 

 

Photo of MAGA hell via Reddit (because where else would it be from). 

Feb

23

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The poster for the event

Bwog sent staff writer Sarah Kinney and Events Editor Lexie Lehmann to Miller Theater Wednesday night to sit in on a panel discussion about race relations in Trump’s America. Stocked with intellectual powerhouses, the discussion was anything but dry. We laughed, we cried, we scribbled letters to our senators frantically in our notebooks. Read on to get the deets on this incredibly moving talk. 

On Wednesday evening, a sold out crowd shuffled into Miller Theater for a panel discussion presented by the Columbia Institute for Research in African American Studies (IRAAS) as part of their Climate of Inclusiveness discussion series. This discussion, Moving Forward: A Discussion of the 2016 Election and What’s Next, featured four speakers: award-winning author and journalist Ta-Nehisi Coates, Columbia Professor of Journalism and writer for the New Yorker Jelani Cobb, award-winning investigative journalist for the New York Times Nikole Jones, and James L. Dohr Professor of Law here at Columbia Patricia Williams. As if the panel wasn’t stacked enough, the discussion was moderated by professor, lawyer, and IRAAS Director Samuel Roberts. Before beginning, Roberts explained that this panel discussion had been in the works since November 9, a day that will live in infamy. However, these four scholars have been digesting and developing their ideas on race relations in Trump’s America for more than just a few months. All four are prolific and widely-respected intellectuals whose investigative work dates back for decades.

What Happened at the Event?

Feb

20

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Low Beach or South Beach?

Spring has sprung, Columbia! We hope you were able to spend some much-needed time outside this weekend enjoying the beautiful weather. But, if you weren’t, you were probably getting drunk and finding yourself in weird situations. Maybe all of the above. Here are this weekend’s field notes

Spring Break?:

  • Went to a beach back home and got caught trespassing. The cop gave me a $75 parking ticket.
  • Got day drunk on Saturday and blacked out between 6 and 7 pm, apparently took a shower with my friend, then made my way (alone) from NYU to 72nd street and Broadway, somehow transferring from the NQR to the 123 but I have no recollection.
  • Went gallery hopping on Thursday. Got pretty drunk on the free wine. Ran into girl who’s friends with my old roommate, had awkward conversation in which I think she implied my roommate really disliked me but can’t be sure because was drunk.
  • Went to Long Island for the tail end of President’s weekend where I got wine drunk and passed out with Montaigne and my anxiety meds in the sun room.
  • Visited DUMBO, Brooklyn with my best friends!
  • Saw a pug in DUMBO and screamed “DUMBO PUGGO!”
  • Went to Massachusetts, where there’s still so much snow on the ground! Neat.

There is literally no unifying theme here (except maybe alcohol):

  • Bought my friend drinks and she accidentally venmo’d me $300 instead of $30 to pay me back.
  • Played four square. But not middle school four square – adult four square. The kind of four square that can leave the floor of an EC suite absolutely soaked in alcohol.
  • Got a Tinder after a long period of wishing I met more people but not doing anything about it. Already hate it and have received a number of vulgar comments.
  • Got really high and watched Psycho. 11/10 would recommend.
  • A mouse died in my room, took us almost 24 hours to figure out the source of the smell (RIP).
  • Took a shit in a West Elm bathroom.
  • Ate at another college’s dining hall, and they were just serving mac and cheese. Nothing else.
  • Forced 90+ fraternity guys to sit and listen to talks about queering Greek life and trans inclusivity.
  • Went to a glow stick and then toga party in EC wearing a lax pinnie which got me into yet another confrontation in Mel’s.
  • Got an email from my French professor asking why I half-ass my online homework.

Feb

13

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If you live in McBain… I’m so sorry.

Good morning, Columbia! It’s mid February, which means the semester is really kicking it into gear. How many tests do you have this week? How many essays? Yeah, me too. And we can’t forget that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Welcome to Hell.

Happening in the nation: In case you live under a rock, the Grammys were last night! Adele brought home the gold with both album of the year and record of the year —which reminds me… There’s a distinction? I thought those were the same thing. Anyway, a lot of people are upset that Beyonce didn’t win for her album Lemonade. Bwog has no official stance on this matter.

Happening in NYC: Sunday morning, hundreds of Jewish New Yorkers (and their allies) gathered in the freezing rain to show their support for refugees. The rally, which took place in Battery Park, was both a sentiment of support and a protest against President Trump’s recent executive orders regarding immigration.

Happening on campus: Somebody call Oprah! Dr. Oz is on campus today! Dr. Oz will be speaking from 10:00-11:00 am in the Myrna Daniels Auditorium. He’ll be discussing health, wellness, diet secrets, boob jobs, and all that other stuff I assume Dr. Oz talks about.

Overseen/Overheard: So, apparently there are mice in McBain. Like, a lot of mice. Here’s one that didn’t make it out alive. Sleep well, ratto.

If you live in McBain… I’m so sorry.

 

Taylor ain’t the only snake around here:

 

Photo via Bwogger Leo Bevilacqua, who promptly left McBain to spend the night at a friend’s apartment. 

Feb

6

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Dr. Neil Warren, the founder of eHarmony. Also goes by "daddy."

Dr. Neil Warren, the founder of eHarmony. Also goes by “daddy.”

It’s almost that time of the year, Bwoggers! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and you know what that means… It’s time for Bwog’s annual call for personals. Get ready to shamelessly and unironically advertise yourself via Columbia’s most professional platform.

In the mood for love? Tinder got you down? No plans for next Tuesday? Well, you’ve come to the right place! If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, we encourage you to submit a personal. All you have to do is email tips@bwog.com with your answers to the questions below (and don’t forget to attach a steamy, flashy pic of yourself! …as long as it’s not a nude) and we’ll post your homemade profile. If you find yourself smitten by any of the personals we publish, hit us up via email and we’ll set you up with the lucky individual. Or maybe one of us staff writers here at Bwog will find ourselves falling for you… if you’re lucky.

The Questions:

Name, Year, School, Major (grad students encouraged)
Preference (girl for girl, etc)
Hometown
Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer
What redeems you as a human being?
Library room of choice
Beverage of choice
Which dating apps have you been active on? (be honest)
Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night?
Historical Hottie

Personals are due this Friday, February 10, at 11:59 pm.

Daddy headshot via a damning article from Pathos. Sorry, Neil. It was just a really nice hi-res pic. 

Feb

3

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Brendan Moore, Roosevelt's Center Director for Economic Development, introducing Joseph Stiglitz.

Brendan Moore, Roosevelt’s Center Director for Economic Development, introducing Joseph Stiglitz.

Last night, the Roosevelt Institute here at Columbia sponsored a talk by world-renowned economist Joseph Stiglitz. Bwog sent first-year Sarah Kinney to cover the event. After getting lost in the wrong Warren building—and convincing the hosts to let her into the jam packed lecture room—she finally settled in to hear what Stiglitz had to say. Keep on reading for some deliciously woke and nerdy insight. 

On Thursday evening, well over a hundred students flooded the second floor of Warren Hall in anticipation of The Roosevelt Institute’s premier speaker: Nobel Prize winning economist Joseph Stiglitz. The Roosevelt Institute is “a progressive, nonpartisan, student-run think tank” with a firm presence on Columbia’s campus, hosting weekly discussions on prominent issues such as school choice, immigration, and income inequality. Stiglitz was their first guest-speaker of the semester, and his resume isn’t half bad. Aside from being a professor here at Columbia, Stiglitz was Chairman of the Council of Economic Affairs under President Clinton, Chief Economist of the World Bank from 1997 to 2000, and recipient of the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences in 2001. After a brief introduction by Roosevelt President Adem Sengal and Roosevelt Center Director for Economic Development Brendan Moore, Stiglitz kicked off his talk.

Keep on reading after the jump.

Jan

30

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What did you put in YOUR mouth this weekend?

What did you put in YOUR mouth this weekend?

Well friends, it’s that time of the week again. Another Monday spent wishing you didn’t spend all day yesterday in bed sleeping off a wicked hangover instead of working in Butler. Oh, wait—that’s just me? Well, I’ll be damned. In that case, here’s what everyone else did this weekend.

What did you put in your mouth this weekend?

  • Shoved a soup dumpling in my mouth and burned my entire tongue.
  • Had home-cooked food for the first time since the semester began.
  • Baked blueberry muffins but didn’t get to eat any of them because gastritis/not home.
  • Went to Chinatown and took wine shots which still, sadly, fucked me up.
  • Convinced some friends to go all the way to Flushing to get hot pot with me as a birthday lunch. (The combined subway time was longer than the combined eating time.)
  • Ate a gyro in Hungarian on Saturday night with surprisingly little judgement.
  • Had amazing escargot.

So much more after the jump!

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