Written by Bwog Staff
November 12, 20148:01 pm 11 Comments
Tags: a case study in cheese > oral sex, eating your feelings, heaven is a hamdel all to yourself, procrastination, quizzes, sometimes bwog is buzzfeed, workin' on our night cheese
March 04, 201310:00 pm 9 Comments
Let’s show our appreciation—it might not always be here.
Bwog knows you’re bored and trying to procrastinate, so we’ve gathered some of our staff’s favorite Wikipedia pages to pass your time. Feel free to add more in the comments!
The darkest day of our procrastination via Dusit / Shutterstock.com
Tags: procrastination, seriously you can do this all night, wikiphilia
October 19, 20124:09 pm 2 Comments
Still need more ways to procrastinate for your midterms? Bwog has you covered! When you’re spending all that time on Twitter to avoid your calculus textbook, your tweets can start to feel a little dry. But not anymore, with our new favorite website that proclaims “Yes, that CAN be my next tweet!” This text generator creates an amalgamation of words and phrases used in your tweets to give you something brand-new. The best part? You can put in anyone else’s Twitter handle and get new tweets for them, too. So obviously, after hitting refresh on our own fake tweets about eighty times, we had to share some of the best suggestions for other people from Fake Prezbo to the librarians.
The Extremely Official Columbia Twitter (@Columbia): Tomorrow Night Free Speech in Shangri La
Delta Gamma (@DGzetatheta): We’ll call me! Free rides anywhere in her rightful coast to our favorite 209 study break tonight people!
The Library (@columbialib): The bagels are pleased to be tonight for help? Work! At the libraries will be served tonight!
Spec (@CUSpectrum): Maybe reschedule that $30 million in speedos! Haters gon’ hate.
Ivy League Bitch (@IvyLeagueBitch): Don’t worry, I’m at Brown. You are going to hear about fasting before I put that embarrassing tattoo.
Prezbo (@LEE_BOLLINGER): Lolz, smoking ban argument emails for Bernanke. Have been drunk or something?
MLIB (@MyLifeIsBarnard): UGH last day I THOUGHT I would be receiving so everyone you can stay in Carman after hooking up?
And, of course, yours truly (@Bwog): Don’t start living in the Way Back from space. It’s on its 123rd Birthday Dancing Bear Suit today.
Speechless via Shutterstock.
Tags: does alma mater run the columbia twitter, procrastination, twitter for people who don't like twitter, websites that don't judge you
December 19, 20118:00 pm 2 Comments
Began his career as a daily editor
Bwog literally runs on the human spirit. If you have lots of human spirit that you’d like to earmark for Bwog’s consumption, you should be a Daily Editor.
Dailies get to ask people probing questions, get into events for free, have their words on the Internet, and consume lots of Westside cookies at meetings!*
If this appeals to you, type up a response to the form below and send it to email@example.com. You don’t need to include a headshot, but are welcome to if you’re into that sort of thing. Apply by 11:59 pm tonight! Yes, it’s finals. You’re on Bwog, aren’t you?
Ready to apply? Click here for the app!
Tags: apply, bwog on bwog, daily editor, dear God do humanities majors get jobs too?, hot jobs, meta, procrastination, SEAS welcome
December 17, 201110:00 pm 6 Comments
Sure, it’s Saturday night, but it’s also finals week, meaning that your closest encounter with anyone “dressed to impress” will likely be with this girl. Regardless, that urge to pack up and hit The Heights is probably pretty strong about now. To aid in your decision, we happily present a favorite from the archives, the Bwog Finals Fortune Teller:
It’s always times like these when we feel like giving up and leaving our finals fates to the gods. Fortunately for everyone, Bwog has a serious god complex, and we’re prepared to dole out our predictions for your final exams with extreme authority.
So if you trust Bwog with the weaving of your academic fate (and you totally should), check out our fortune teller. We promise it’ll make way better use of your print quota than that anthro reading you skipped.
Instructions and cutout (PDF)
Big version (PDF))
Tags: arts and crafts, fortune teller, fun uses for your print quota, it's out of your hands, nostalgia, procrastination, the art of paper folding, time the subtle thief of youth
October 28, 20117:56 pm 8 Comments
Night number two of this year’s Halloweekend—that’s a thing, we swear… use it—brings with it the longest line Morningside Heights has seen since Campo Mike first introduced “Cloud Nine Saturdays” (may they rest in peace). And fear not, freshpeople, you don’t even need a fake ID once you reach the front!
A tipster reports a line of extraordinary (but not completely unprecedented) proportions outside our very own Ricky’s location. Looks like we’ll be sticking with last year’s FourLoko stained bunny ears…
Word to the wise: order online next year.
Update: Word on the street (literally…) is that Possibilities@Columbia, at Broadway and 111th Street has its own share of costumes and no line. And if you do make it off of said street(s), don’t forget to enter your costume via tips to our fifth annual contest.
Tags: brocrastination, costumes, fake IDs, halloweekend, halloween, lines, long lines, procrastination, ricky's, werewolf bar mitzvah spooky scary
October 23, 20116:00 pm 3 Comments
It's staring back.
Maybe you’re reading this because you’re done with midterms. More likely, you’re reading this because you’re trying to avoid eye contact with all that reading that you told yourself you were going to get caught up on weeks ago. Either way, there’s no better way to escape their disapproving gaze than heading to this week’s Bwog meeting. Yes, there will be free food, so come to the Lerner SGO at 7 pm and finally give yourself a legitimate excuse for failing to rectify your procrastinating ways.
Victims of neglect via Wikimedia Commons
Tags: meeting, procrastination
May 03, 20111:52 pm 19 Comments
With reading week here, the urge to procrastinate is strong. Here are a couple tools that might keep you off Facebook and on the books.
Nicholas Murray Butler may not have had lolcats back in his day, but he still managed to distract himself
Both StayFocusd for Chrome and LeechBlock for Firefox allow users to block or limit access to specific, time-wasting websites. Users must manually enter every website they wish to block for both of the sites, but StayFocusd comes with a suggested list. Lifehacker offers this guide for getting LeechBlock set up.
All of this software is highly customizable, which creates the risk of metaprocrastinating by experimenting with these porgrams’ many bells and whistles. Ultimately, the power is yours; you can turn off all of these programs just as easily as you can install them. Good luck and remember––no app can substitute for the caustic pressuring glare of an angry stranger.
Old-fangled distraction via Wikimedia Commons
Tags: bwog helps, distraction, facebook youtube lolcats - the holy trifecta, helpful lists, procrastination
May 01, 20111:30 pm 15 Comments
The fun doesn't have to stop at Bacchanal
What’s that? “There’s no better way to spend a stressful pre-exam-week Sunday than with a block party,” you say?
You’re in luck.
Chicano Caucus and Grupo Quisqueyano will be holding a Latino Block Party on Lehman Lawn from 2 to 7 pm. There will be free food and performances all day–featuring Mariachi performers, Ballet Folklorico dancers, CU Raas, CU Bellydance, C.U.S.H., Sabor, and more!
Not enough to satisfy your procrastination needs?
The Columbia University College Republicans will also be having a party: free BBQ for the campus community starting at 2 pm in Revson Plaza (the law school bridge over Amsterdam).
The kind of party you’ll get today only in this picture via Wikimedia
Tags: free food, procrastination, stress busting
March 01, 20116:40 pm 17 Comments
Things to Avoid: Party Fouls
It’s time for midterms, Columbia, and if you haven’t already, pretty soon you will need to study. And if you will need to study, obviously, you will need to procrastinate. And if you need to procrastinate, who better to ask than a bro? This is Bwog’s official guide to online brocrastination:
BroBible: Every bro has a story
Bros Like This Site: Bros like all this shit
On The Bro’d: Every Sentence Of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, Retold For Bros.
Barstool U: By the C- Student for the C- Student
MyLifeIsBro: Life is pretty chill today, bro.
suburban basement via Wikimedia Commons
Tags: boat shoes, brocrastination, bros, bros before. . . everything, dave matthews band, if i were a bro, procrastination, red solo cups, that moment where you realize you are SO college, these websites are legion
December 18, 20102:00 pm 55 Comments
bring it, bitch.
Another vintage post from our archives for you to contemplate while holed up in the library…
With classes completed and a weekend now free to bemoan our misery, Bwoggers weigh in from Butler Cafe/salon: what’s worse, studying for finals or writing papers?
Remember: every essay is an open book test. With class notes, a few highlighted passages, and the wisdom of Wikipedia, writing the final paper for that morning lecture you haven’t graced with your presence since October becomes a manageable feat. For the overachiever, a few days of advance planning gives plenty of time to skim a book or two on an exhaustive syllabus. After a night’s work, you’re an experton Early Modern thought – or, at very least, you’re an expert on Descartes, whose Meditations on First Philosophy clocks in at around 70 pages– and your professor will be awed at your profound insights.Whereas the finals studier, settling down to confront that stack of unread books the morning before the test begins, will probably forget everything he wished he knew about Hobbes as soon as the clock starts ticking.
That’s another thing – essays are free of the stomach-churning anxiety that reminds you of the night before the SATs. And that nervousness doesn’t make you work faster, it only makes you stall. It’s not high school anymore, and we’re out of testing practice. Remember how you used to fire out short answers about the Monroe Doctrine? Remember how you used to diagram the stages of anaerobic respiration? Remember how you used to make flashcards? Just look at you now: struggling to make a simple comparison between Aristotle and Aquinas. Pathetic. Don’t mourn your lost youth and do what we came here to do: argue, debate, and use enough pretty language to hide what you don’t know.
Finals are the godsend of the procrastinating humanities student. You read, er… skimmed, er… sparknoted all those books, but more importantly you sat through class and based your bullshit comments on the synopsis there given by the one person who read all of The Republic. They say you’ll remember an idea if you really engage with it – well, you have! You sat at that seminar table, didn’t you? Now all that’s left to do is to review, and you’ve got plenty of time, the test is tomorrow. It’s past midnight? Ok, technically it’s today. The test is in two hours. One hour. Not ready? Too bad, you can’t make up an excuse to turn this paper in late, even if it has the potential to be a masterpiece (once you start it). You have to show up to that test. And chances are you’ll do fine. And even if you don’t, 2 hours of studying will probably get you a passing grade, while two hours of writing a paper will probably only get you half a paper. This is about time management, Butler zombies.
Ok, so the more technically or linguistically minded among us might not get many organic compounds or Italian verbs memorized in 2 hours. But think of your theoretical other option – in an alternate universe, you’d be writing a paper about the development of that Italian verb (or worse, writing a paper in Italian) or a research paper on the use of Vomitoxin, Uranocene, or Fukalite (yeah, those are real organic compounds). But if you have a final, you’ll probably be asked at most to identify what type of compound Dinocap (also real) is in. And even if you don’t prepare in advance, you know you can – exams that test you on the whole of a psychology text book, for example, are easy to read ahead on. No “here’s you paper topic, due in 72 hours.” No one will argue that computer science concepts are easy, but would you really rather be writing a paper about them?
Tags: because you're not actually studying, how did i do it in high school?, procrastination
December 18, 201012:15 pm 14 Comments
We’re stuck in Butler too, wishing we were back in elementary school when all we had to do was color in the circles and not calculate their velocities relative to the Sun as they hurtle through space.
Holding fast to the spirit of youth, we’ve created a cootie catcher. Now this toy you once used to judge your friends will help you ace your finals. Well, kinda. Click the flyer below for instructions on how to make your very own Bwog Fortune Teller or click the fortune teller to see a larger version!
Big version (PDF)
Tags: arts and crafts, fortune teller, nostalgia, procrastination, time the subtle thief of youth, we're here for you
November 08, 201011:30 am 7 Comments
One of the greatest perks of an Ivy League education is having all sorts of guest lecturers and talks hosted right on campus. Yet many of these great talks are not publicized enough. Enter Bucket List, a weekly feature that aggregates these events in a single location that will hopefully make you realize, like Bwog has, how special our campus is. Our recommendations for this week are below; the full list is after the jump. Have a gander, who knows what you’ll find! Plus, it’s performance time! So, we’ve compiled a separate list of upcoming artistic achievements and fall festivities.
Mon, Nov 8
Tues, Nov 9
Wed, Nov 10
Thurs, Nov 11
Fri, Nov 12
Sun, Nov 14
Thursday, Nov 11
Sat, Nov 13
Tags: "current cravings strange desires and frightening things" it's about the amygdala...who'da thunk?, "nature teaches beasts to know their friends", breastfeeding, bucket list, procrastination, take bwog out on a stargazing date please!
May 04, 20105:00 pm 23 Comments
Does anyone else feel that way?! Go to these study spots with extended hours and compare how many finals you have with the person sitting next to you as the sun rises.
As always, Lerner is open 24 hours during reading week and exams. Mudd is open for everyone with swipe access: SEAS students or anyone who sneaks in the still-broken sliding doors.
Libraries on campus have extended hours and all the Milstein Reading Rooms are “23/7″ (one hour to hide your stuff and awaken nappers). The full details are on the official libraries’ blog (who knew?!)
Lastly, Hillel is open until 2 and 3 a.m. this week and will have a 6 a.m. breakfast for you night owls on Sunday.
If you’re still lost, there’s always the standard list of University-sanctioned study spaces. Happy studying and lay off the Monster.
Tags: air-conditioned alternatives, procrastination, reading about studying while you're not studying
April 08, 20108:36 pm 6 Comments
If the only outing you’ve had this week is to pit stop at Pink Berry on your way to Riverside, it’s time to get your act in gear. As always, you can count on Bwog’s compadres at Inside New York for help.
Forget the cute floral mini. Indulge freely at “Cupcake Camp.”
Free adorably iced cakes and open bar if you just pretend you’re there for the book signing. Register here, and email firstname.lastname@example.org for an official baker registration form if you plan on playing potluck and bringing your own delights. 21+
WHEN: Friday, April 9th @ 7pm
WHERE: Happy Ending, 302 Broome St (between Eldridge and Forsyth Sts)
“Letters by J.D. Salinger.” Buzz kill.
The Morgan Library is presenting 10 letters by the recently deceased J.D. Salinger to unveil “a period of Salinger’s life that has remained obscure and …the daily habits and thoughts of this legendary author.” The perfect guise for productivity.
WHERE: The Morgan Library & Museum, 225 Madison Avenue
WHEN: Thurs, April 7th @ 10:30am–5pm; Fri 10:30am–9pm; Sat 10am–6pm; Sun 11am–6pm
PRICE: $8/students, $12/adults
Tags: guide to the weekend, procrastination
Who are you breaking up with before Thanksgiving?
Go back in history.
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