There are Martians in Morningside.

If your professor assigns these readings in the first week, run.

Spruce up your Saturday with a Welcome Week mystery!

Please feel free to use these names as inspiration–just make sure to provide me with necessary monetary compensation for my immense creativity and intellect.

A time for vibes like no other.

Tití me preguntó si tengo muchas organizaciones, muchas organizaciones. Hoy tengo una, mañana otra. (Translated: Auntie asked me if I have a lot of organizations, a lot of organizations. Today I have one, tomorrow another.)

Do you think your suite is already too hot in this heat? Well, make it hotter by baking some cupcake hamburgers!

Everyone did cool shit this summer, and with just a couple Columbia buzzwords, so did you.

You’ve seen Bwog mock other syllabi this week. Now prepare for Bwog’s very own comprehensive, official, totally real syllabus.

New semester, new conspiracy.

Maybe, just maybe, the world might be healing.

A dorm. A bed. How many? I guess you’ll have to read to find out.

If you can’t find yourself, store-bought you is fine.

Attendance will be recorded.

Summer burned the brightest, but the darkness has consumed them.