Call us old-fashioned*, but Bwog likes sticking to traditions. That’s why we dared enter the dark abyss of terror and neurosis that is Butler without so much as a Virgil-figure to protect us (or at the very least warn us to avert our gaze from one of those 209-couples who seem to feed on creepy eye contact—do they even go here?). Plus, we threw a little Lerner in there to spice things up this year. Without further ado:

A young warrior bows his head in prayer to those who've fought before him.

The dankest and darkest, after the jump. Leer away.

Sure, it’s Saturday night, but it’s also finals week, meaning that your closest encounter with anyone “dressed to impress” will likely be with this girl. Regardless, that urge to pack up and hit The Heights is probably pretty strong about now. To aid in your decision, we happily present a favorite from the archives, the Bwog Finals Fortune Teller:

It’s always times like these when we feel like giving up and leaving our finals fates to the gods. Fortunately for everyone, Bwog has a serious god complex, and we’re prepared to dole out our predictions for your final exams with extreme authority. 

So if you trust Bwog with the weaving of your academic fate (and you totally should), check out our fortune teller. We promise it’ll make way better use of your print quota than that anthro reading you skipped. 

Instructions and cutout (PDF)

Big version (PDF))

Fall break is really over, isn't it

Columbia researchers find that the dust from car exhaust increases the chance for, among other things, brain damage, autism, depression, and Alzheimer’s. (WSJ)

Yesterday, voters soundly rejected an anti-abortion initiative in Mississippi and a law limiting union rights in Ohio. (NYT)

Though the initial flooding in Thailand may be over, the recovery is expected to cost in excess of $4 billion—and if you’re planning on buying a hard drive in the near future, you could end up paying upwards of 60% above sticker price due to shortages. (Reuters, CNet)

The deadline to apply for the city’s $100 million has passed, leaving universities waiting on Bloomberg himself to make a final decision, who is eager to use the science and engineering campus to shape his mayoral legacy. (NYT)

As protesters settle in for winter, Occupy Wall Street has added a permanent first-aid tent, fully staffed with ER physicians, general practitioners, and registered nurses. (Gothamist)

Columbia alum and Nobel laureate in physics Norman Ramsey has died at 96. (AP)

Nemesis via Wikimedia

1020 groupies rejoice! That booth where you had one too many tinis is now famous. The latest prep school misfits movie, The Art of Getting By, stars Emma Roberts (the one from Aquamarine—which maybe made you tear up that one time) and the Wes Anderson look-alike from the trippy version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Isn’t it terrifying when kids in children’s movies get old?

Anywho, The Art of Getting By looks kinda sucky. But fast forward the trailer to 1:47 and check out where the happy couple is spinning?! Our very own 1020. Fact: this could not happen in real life because Emma Roberts’ pretty little head would be impaled by a dart.

And you may recall that Will Ferrell once freeze-frame peed in our favorite haunt. Basically 1020 is universally acknowledged as a dive bar. We’re weirdly proud.

As per tradition, join Bwog as we cram study diligently for our last finals and take an odyssey through the depths of Butler, on a dark night of the soul… It’s good to see you’re all so focused and well-fueled.

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Finals approach. This means you’ll be staying up later. You (hopefully) know both these things. So does Columbia, apparently. With this in mind, here are just a few place which have extended their hours for heavily sighing, red-eyed scholars. Mention any we missed in the comments.

• HamDel will be open 24/7, instead of the regular 24/6
• Business and Econ library open ’til midnight
• Butler Reserves open ’til midnight
• Butler Media Center open ’til midnight
• Lehman is open until 4 am

Cute kids via Wikimedia Commons

It seems like just yesterday that 2015 ED got sent out. Hell, it seems like just yesterday our decisions got mailed out. But it isn’t! Today the Deciders of Fates at Admissions mailed 2015 Regular Decision responses. Nail biting ensues.

The admissions people filed solemnly out of Hamilton, placing box after box (after box!) into the UPS van. Then they sang “Roar, Lion, Roar!” It made Bwog happy and feel fresh and excited and pre-froshy again.

Speaking of pre-frosh, holla 2015! We know you’re out there. G’luck friends.

Manage THIS

Two graduate students stroll by Low Library:

Graduate student: “Yeah, my, like, time management skills this semester have been really poor. I feel like an undergraduate. Who, like, studies the night before? So undergraduate…”

Intricate clock via wikimedia.

Father Time, always harshing your mellow

Sorry kids, Spring Break is over. The seven weeks between now and the end of the semester give you just enough time to let that suntan fade while you camp out in Butler (but do it ethically!). While you’re waiting for the return of lighter hues, here’s what to look forward to. (For added drama, turn your speakers up to 11 and let this play while you read.)

Housing

• March 21: Lottery numbers posted OOPS they did this already
• March 29 – April 5: Suite selection
• April 11: General selection

The Future

• March 24: Last day to drop a class (SEAS), Last day to P/D/F
• Week of April 11th: Fall 2011 class registration

Abacchalypse

• April 15: Battle of the Bands
• April 20: 420
• April 30: Concert

Finals

• May 2: Last day of classes
• May 3-5: Reading period
• May 6-13: Finals

Graduation

• May 16: SEAS Class Day, GS Class Day (speaker tba)
• May 17: CC Class Day, Barnard Commencement
• May 18: University Commencement

Dude with Issues via Wikimedia

Alas, fellow Columbians, our wintry fun is fading before your eyes. Here in front of Dodge, see the physical manifestations of innocent fun disappear. It’s a literary symbol, or something.

Photo by AB

We’re stuck in Butler too, wishing we were back in elementary school when all we had to do was color in the circles and not calculate their velocities relative to the Sun as they hurtle through space.

Holding fast to the spirit of youth, we’ve created a cootie catcher. Now this toy you once used to judge your friends will help you ace your finals. Well, kinda. Click the flyer below for instructions on how to make your very own Bwog Fortune Teller or click the fortune teller to see a larger version!

Instructions and cutout (PDF)

Big version (PDF)

It’s four square! No, not the sketchy social networking site, but the playground game. Relive recess, kids!

Spotted by Sarah Ngu

Time is running out! While Senior Wisdom is imminent, we thought we’d also give out some advice as well as receive it. Bwog presents hyperlinks and highly recommends getting these under your belt before you leave. Who ever heard of a War on Fun?

• Visit every roof
• Explore the tunnels
• Take the public safety shuttle
• Get CAVAed
• Hook up with a TA
• Do a touristy NY thing
• Camp out for a night on the lawns
• Have sex in Butler
• Go downtown
• Eat a Crack Del spicy special
• Pass the swim test
• Find the Alma Mater owl
• Finally hang out with the people you’ve been making fake plans with for four years
• Watch the sun set over Riverside Park
• And/or watch the sun set from a roof or the Schapiro sky lounge
• Graduate

Our pal James is at it again, this time guesting on 30 Rock and totally destroying our long-held ideas on celebrity. Subversion! (Hulu)

CU prof Ilan Meyer testified in the federal Proposition 8 trial, and said that Prop. 8 would adversely affect the health of the gay community. Your faculty: on the right side of history! (Gothamist)

Your faculty: also typecast as liberal. (New York Times)

Identity fraud! Intrigue! The word “manhunt,” even! IMPOSTORS WALK AMONG US! (Rolling Stone)

Debunked: the mystifying history and suggested use of the “emergency brake” on subway cars. (New York Times)

And the New York Jets, improbably but delightfully, are one win away from the Super Bowl. They’ll play the Indianapolis Colts this weekend. (New York Times)

It’s time for another installment of our exam season photo essays. The amount of paper crammed into a single desk never ceases to amaze:

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