We hear this is a pretty good website that’ll help you cope.

Finals are just around the corner, and Butler is already crowded with people getting ready. Those poor miserable souls seemed only to have work, but we knew there was more, we wanted to know what kept them going. We asked, “What’s your finals coping mechanism?” here are some of the answers we got.

• Quiet librarian: *thinks forever* “I chew a lot of gum.”
• Guy: “Stay up late and work hard.”
• Girl: “Friends!”
• Guy: “I don’t have one.”
• Girl: “Drinking my weight in sunny D.”
• Girl: “The Stanley Cup playoffs.”
  
• Guy in 210: “Alcohol.”
• Girl in 209: “Taking long walks in Riverside.”
• Girl in 211: “I’m not sure, sleep?”
•  Guy in 211: “I don’t know.”
•  Guy in 210: *shrugs and laughs*
• Girl in 209: “I don’t know. You just have to study.”
•  Girl in 209: “Coping? I don’t know.”
• Girl with an entire table in 210: “Meditation.”
• Girl on the third floor: “Umm I dunno coffee?”
• Guy on six: “Lots of sleep and definitely Netflix.”

We also saw a girl skipping down the hallway, which totally counts.

As you know, Columbia is now in the matrix and you need to arrive by parachute.

As you all know, the day prospies leave campus after DoC is the happiest saddest day of the year. So in an attempt to wish them a proper goodbye and hopefully bring them back in September, we braved the seven seas of Butler and asked the locals for some advice to prospies. Here’s what we got:

• Boy on the 3rd floor: “Become nocturnal.”
• Girl with cute glasses: “Learn to walk faster.”
• Boy with puffy coat: “Don’t think you’re ever going to talk to people you meet during NSOP ever again.”
  
• Boy in 209: “Avoid the dining halls.”
• Boy in 209: “I can’t share—I’m graduating, so I can’t remember.”
• Girl in 209: “Don’t find yourself in the Heights tonight at 1 am. Just don’t. It’s not a good idea.”
• Girl outside Butler: “Holding hands won’t keep you from getting lost.” (Pregnant pause, laughs) “Trust me.”
• Girl with glasses outside bathroom: “Spend a lot of time in Butler; that’s what you’ll be doing when you go here.”
• Guy with backpack: “Pick the school that feels right for you… That’s really cliché.”
• Two smiling girls: “Don’t stay in Butler too late.”
• Texting girl with scarf: “Make sure to major in something that you really like. College is a time to discover what you love; you can specialize in grad school. It’s the last time you’ll be free from bills and taxes ands stuff. Your last chance to be… not a kid, but someone youthful and carefree.”
• Grad student: “Do a lot of outlines before actually writing essays.”
• Girl with black jacket: “Talk to a lot of students about what classes to take, just so you know how to build a schedule and not miss out on classes you need to take for your major.”

You can perceive the wide range of Columbia experiences just from these responses—leave more in the comments!

Good luck with your decisions, prospies; Bwog loves you and hopes you’ll come.

Bwog’s traditional stock photo welcome via Shutterstock

Sunday arrived last weekend, as it always does, to remind us that we actually go here for an education. So as a group of zombies took over Butler Library on Sunday, Bwog decided to ruin their nights by making them do their best to remember the highlights and lowdarks (or anything really) about Bacchanal the day before.

• Girl on 6: *sarcastically* “Probably waking up at 8 a.m.”
• Boy with glasses: “Watching my two friends grind on each other and then completely not remember a couple hours later.”
• Girl with springy hair: “Definitely Macklemore. So much swag…”
• Girl outside: “When ‘Thrift Song’ came on? That’s the only one I knew… The worst part was that I got trampled. A third of my hair got ripped out.”
• Girl next to previous girl: “Found some new love.”
• Blonde girl: “Public safety found my wallet, phone, shoes, and keys, which I apparently abandoned at Bacchanal.”
• Stoned-looking guy: “I think I may have found a new fuck buddy.”
• Girl with Woody Allen-esque glasses and bangs: “Pregaming was painful but fun.”
• Girl with nose ring: “Getting up on someone’s shoulders during Macklemore.”
• Guy with red hoodie: “I liked the DJ, Flosstradamus.”
• Happy girl: “Watching the girl dance in the fountain!”
• Girl in hallway: “Almost falling over in my support for gay rights.”
• Guy with Under Armour hoodie: “Pregame—went to The Heights.”
• Boy in Columbia sweatshirt in lounge: “Making spiked pudding and eating it on the steps while macklemore was playing
• Barnard dancer at Miller: “Couldn’t go to bacchanal—some people made it to the concert till 12:15 but had performances at 2.”
• 2 girls in lobby: (hysterical laughter) “Being present.” Bwog: “Any expansion?” Girls: “Nope, that’s literally all we know.”
• Guy in rainbow hoodie: “These two guys were ahead of me and tripped and the guy who tripped asked his friend to take a picture and I offered to so he laid back down for the picture.” See picture below: Update, 4/16: The person in the picture identified himself and ask we remove it.

A guy outside 203 only gave us the following photo as an answer:

Feel free to post your stories in our conveniently anonymous comment section.

He’s looking at your answers and judging you.

So… Bacchanal is coming up. It’s headlined as we all know by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, also featuring Flosstradamus and Morningsiders. Another thing: it starts at 11am. How do people feel about all this? Well, your trusty Bwog braved Butler in a quest for answers. Here are some of the best ones:

• Girl in elevator: “I have a dance performance at 2 that day so… I mean I’m a little bummed I can’t make it, but I think all of us in the dance department are just like “eh, it’s a thing that happens.”
  
• Boy with accent in 6th floor hallway: “I don’t know what that is! But I’ll google it later.”
• Butler smoker: “Not excited about Macklemore, have never heard of Ryan Lewis; I’m a huge trap fan so Flosstradaumus is good, but they really could have stepped it up with the hip hop.”
• Girl: “My thesis is due tomorrow so I have no thoughts about anything else.”
• Girl in 209: “So excited!!! I’ll be there at 6 am!!!!”
• Girl in 209: “Partying people. That’s all I know.”
• Guy in Ref Room: “I wish it was Vampire Weekend, or Phoenix, or something, but it’ll do.”
• Unfazed guy in all black: “My brother is in high school and gives more of a shit than I do.”
• Girl applying makeup in the bathroom for 20 minutes despite head to toe Columbia sweat gear: “Don’t have time to think about it until at least Wednesday.”
• Quiet guy in front of cafe: “Disappointed, I wanted A$AP Rocky…”
• Guy near cafe:”I’m excited, the lineup is pretty good. But I don’t like how they tricked us by saying Macklemore wasn’t going to play and stuff.”
• Friendly guy: “I think it’s gonna be… I wish it wasn’t so early. It’s gonna be hard to drink so early. But I think that makes it funnier.”
• Guy on 3rd floor in passing: “Pumpppeeddd upppp!!!” (as he was walking away)
• Girl with headphones: “I mean I’m excited but I wish it was starting later. But I’m still excited.”
• Guy in a hurry: “I’m really excited… I love Morningsiders… probably because I’m in Morningsiders… the more people like Macklemore the more will come watch us so I guess I like him too!”

The headliner via Wikimedia Commons

Happy “spring” break!

Bwog was as excited as you were to get back to school after Spring Break; we wouldn’t have been able to cope with another day of not going to class. Nevertheless, spring break is a time we need to reflect on. So we went on our weekly Butler escapade to find out what the Butlerites’ favorite part of Spring Break was. Here are some of our best answers:

• Disheveled-looking guy in 209: “Reaching page 100 of my thesis.”
• Guy outside Butler café: “Sitting at Columbia doing my UWriting essay.”
• Girl outside Butler café: “Picking up nasal steroids for the cold I picked up. My nose burns like I did coke.”
• Guy in 210: “I came out to my parents.”
• Guy on the fifth floor: “I dunno, seeing all my friends take shrooms.”
• Girl: “I snuck onto the Hearst private property and found a cowboy party in the woods. They offered me a rib, but I didn’t take it because I thought it might be an initiation thing that would transform me into a cowboy. But in retrospect, I kind of wish I took it.”
• Group of Butler smokers:  Burst into nervous laughter. One of the smokers offers his name, thinks for a moment, then retracts it.
• Butler smoker: “Spending 5 days with mates getting fucked up.”
• Girl in hallway: “Getting to sleep in and being woken up by little poodles.”
• 4th floor group study room boy: “no comment.” “Is that a good no comment or a bad one?” “Eh, good. Short term romance. No strings attached, that kinda thing.”
• Butler smoker: “Just being able to wake up and do whatever the fuck I want and party and go to Ultra and then wake up and do it all over again.”

When hell freezes over via Shutterstock

Is it here yet?

Bwog likes to descend into Butler on Sunday nights (just as a sense of doom is descending) to gather an idea of what’s going on with fellow Columbians. This week we asked you, “What are you doing over spring break?”

The normal.

• Caffeinated girl by the bathroom: “I feel like I’ve been living off coffee for the past few days. Can’t wait to go home and sleep.”
• Boy dozing off on third floor: “I’m excited to hang out with friends and play FIFA.”

The travelers.

• All 6th floor: Paris, Spain, Los Angeles
• Girl working behind the desk: “I’m going to D.C. with my social caucus. Then I’m working.”
• Two girls chatting: “We’re going to Cancun together for 8 days!”
• Guy with fairly loud voice: “I’m going to Miramar to go scuba diving. No, I’m actually going to California.”
• Stressed out girl in 209: “I’m going to Dubai and I can’t wait because I’m so stressed about midterms and I’ve been practically living in Butler.”

The others…

• Guy: “Staying here… *sigh*”
• Creepy guy I hope was joking: “Furiously masturbating.”
• Creepy guy I hope was joking’s friend: “Dude, that’s what everyone’s going to be doing.”
• Girl with trendy glasses: “Spring break? *laughs and shakes head*” (Bwog’s not sure what this response means)

All our state-school friends right now via Shutterstock

Keep dreaming, folks.

As per tradition, every week we at Bwog leave our meeting at the SGO every Sunday and go straight to Butler. You’d think we’d be studying, but we’re just annoying everyone who is.

This week, we covered the issue that is(n’t) on everyone’s mind: housing. We asked, “Housing selection starts in 3 days. How do you feel about that?” Here are some of our responses.

• Girl eating a salad on the 2nd floor: To be honest, I don’t know anything about it. I really need to do some research into it, I have no idea even how it works or what to do.
• Girl in a Columbia sweatshirt, enthusiastically: “I’m an RA! Suck it!”
• Senior eating under the front painting: “It kinda makes me feel like I wish I had more time here…”
• Guy on the fourth floor: “Wait it starts in three days? Jesus Christ. Like we have to know, know?”
• Guy on the fourth floor: “I didn’t even know that was happening…”
• Guy on the fourth floor: “Um…I’m good how are you? Oh wait about housing? Everything is confusing to me.”
• Two girls studying in 310: “Uhhhh, I’m a senior.” “And I’m studying abroad.”
• Stressed girl in the ref room: “OH FUCK!”
• Girl in ref room: “I’m a senior, but I’m so happy that I’m done with the killing each other drama of housing.”
• Guy in 308 who didn’t seem to understand what we meant by housing at first/might be GS:
  “I’m not very content where I’m at right now. I think I’m going to look for some place downtown.”
• Girl in ref room: ”I don’t really know yet. I want a single but I don’t know my options…”
• Probably a Barnard girl: “Well I think housing is different and far superior for Barnard students.”
• Peacoated girl: “Three days? I don’t have a roommate yet, I’m freaking the fuck out.”
• Guy with lots of buttons: “I have so many other things on my mind that I just don’t even give a shit.”

How your lottery numbers are picked via Shutterstock

Future Columbia film major?

In anticipation of that award show you read all about on Facebook, Bwog invaded Butler to gather the locals’ guesses for the winner of the grand prize of the night. Here are some of the answers we gathered.

Some people (sort of) knew what they were talking about it:

• Guy near elevator: “Is Tarantino running? I’m just gonna go with Tarantino.”
• Girl in hall: “Les Mis? I don’t know, is that nominated?”
• Boy wandering third floor: “Argo.”
• Girl wandering third floor: “I think Lincoln. I really liked it. I actually saw it at midnight the night it came out…we were the only people in the theater because…why would you see Lincoln at midnight? But really: written by Tony Kushner, directed by Steven Spielberg…”
• Two guys reviewing a problem set in 303b: “Argo.” “Really? I think Zero Dark Thirty or Silver Linings Playbook, for sure.”
• Two girls in 202: “Les Mis.” “Zero Dark Thirty.”
• Two girls sitting on main staircase: “Les Misérables? I *want* it to win.” “Lemme think.” *30 seconds of conversation later * “Lincoln.”

And others were pretty lost:

• Girl with glasses near steps: “I don’t know any of the movies.”
• Girl on phone outside of Butler: “I have no idea, I totally have not been following.”
• Girl in hallway: (quietly) “I don’t know… I’m in my own world lately…”
• Guy with a hat: “I don’t follow that stuff.”
• Studious girl in 310 alcove: “I haven’t really been following it!”
• Guy in glasses and hat: “I don’t know, I don’t—” …and he just walked away mid-sentence.

The ultimate prize via Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com

At least maybe this line will get shorter now?

Our beloved weekly series is back! Inspired by recent events, we bothered the poor souls trapped in Butler to find out what would stop them from going to Columbia’s favorite deli, Milano Market. Here are some of the best answers we got:

• “I actually don’t go to Milanos! Have never been.”
• “Probably getting stopped and frisked. This would cause me to stop shopping there. Because, you know, it’s wrong. Dont even.. no.”
• “I guess…if they stopped selling a lot of their cookies.”
• “Nothing. Nothing would make me stop going there.”
• “Any fast food restaurant that will similarly fill me up for under $6.” ”Yeah, anything other than sandwiches.” “We were just talking about this, Morningside Heights only has sandwiches.” “Just too many goddamn sandwiches!”
• “If it weren’t in my basement.”
• “If the deli guys grew hair.”
• “A day where I was rushed and had some sort of deadline. Some days I just walk to subway to get a spicy Italian with jalapenos. Also last year HamDel stole 10 dollars from me.”
• “A gosh yarn it meeting that’s actually right now.”
• “Maybe if ninjas attacked me or something.”
• “A freight train.” “Yeah that seems pretty valid.”
• “I don’t know… A lot of things, probably.”
• “The minimum purchase for credit cards and flex.”
• “The 10 dollar price tag on the sandwiches.”

Soldier on

Work may not be bothering you in Butler yet, but Bwog is! We spent our Sunday night asking the few souls who are already studying in Butler, “Why are you here?” only to quickly realize that it was a silly question.  While Bwog’s shoddy work ethic keeps us from the depths of the library until midterms crash upon us, other students actually work hard throughout the semester to avoid catastrophies.  To that end, this week’s Bwog Asked is dedicated to our wise, hard-working peers, who show us how it’s done and have inspired us to actually do all of our readings…at least for this week.

• “Staying on top of things. Because I know it’s all just going to break down in the end.”
• “Working on Lit Hum reading.”
• “Doing my homework… Is that it?”
• “Well it’s quiet here.”
• “Studying for linguistics.”
• “I’m playing chess. Speed chess.”
• “I’m checking out books.” Bwog: “Spice it up!” Her: “I’m telling the truth!”
• “No one reserves group study rooms this early in the semester so it’s easy to get one – and kick people out of them”
• “Studying, just doing reading.”
• “I just really like it here!”

The rest were confused looks and variations of “studying for ____, you lazyass.”  For those about to rock this semester, we salute you.

AMERICA via Shutterstock

They could very well have meant this Greece

Last night, Bwog procrastinated from its various papers by conducting another Bwog Asked on unsuspecting library-goers, this time asking the ambiguously ominous question, “What keeps you up at night?” Here’s a sampling of some of our results, along with an unexpectedly detailed conversation about grease.

• Boy constructing cheatsheet in 210: Wet dreams. Get it?
• 209 A: Stimulants.
• 209 B: Remembering how much work I have to do.
• Girl on Facebook in 202: Thinking about all of the work I should be doing instead of sleeping. My sleep schedule is pretty reversed right now. I’m basically nocturnal.
• Boy in 303 with a million papers in front of him: This is going to sound boring, but work.
• Girl in 303 working on a lab report: Too much silence or too much noise. Either/or.
• 303b alcove denizen: *taps coffee cup*
• Two boys studying in 3rd floor hallway: 1: Caffeine. 2: Prospects of failing out of college.
• Ref room A: I took a 4-hour nap.
• Ref room B: I just work better at night.
• 310 alcove A: Caffeine.
• 310 alcove B: Studying.
• Girl studying in stairwell: Finals.
• Two girls in 4th floor study room: 1. Music and giggles. 2. Starbucks mocha frappuccinos and prayer.
• Very sweet boy in 403: I have an exam tomorrow morning and a presentation in the afternoon, so I feel like I should stay up and prepare for it. How many finals do you have left?
• 5th floor boy in a room all to himself: Just caffeine.
• Very sweet girl in 504: (giggles) I’m almost failing everything! How about you?
• Two 6th floor studious girls: 1. Coffee. 2. Having this due tomorrow!

And now for a completely different answer:

Mostly a lot of this…

Last week, Bwog asked Sunday night Butler residents what they would rather be doing. This week, we wondered what’s getting them through finals. Here are their replies:

• Boy in 310 alcove with Mac charger hanging across room: Red Bull
• Two guys in 210: We deactivated our Facebooks (bold strategy, guys)
• Girl in 210: R&B
• Another 210 Girl: A lot of sandwiches
• Guy in 211: A few nights ago, I had this little paper to write. I sent out a Facebook message to all my friends saying I had been procrastinating and asking hem to send an encouraging message. So while I’m writing the paper, all these encouraging texts poured in. Seeing that all those people cared, it makes me want to write all these papers so I can spend time on those relationships.
• Guy in hallway outside 211: Ferris peppermints and JJ’s fro-yo.
• People also sitting the 211 hallway: Girl: Starbucks. Guy: Also fear. Girl: The fear of Starbucks closing
• Guy in 209: When I don’t have to study, I drink a lot

(more…)

Last week, Bwog asked Sunday night Butler residents if they were happy. This week, we wondered what they would rather be doing. Here are your replies:

Bwog’s happy place

• Guy in polo: “Hanging out with friends.”
• Girl with cool scarf and really white teeth: “Raging on a beach at a party.”
• Girl with warm fuzzy jacket: “I’d be home if I could.”
• Guy sitting sideways on armchair in 209: “Eating my parents’ food.”
• Girl in armchair in 209: “I’d like to be at Mel’s.”
• Girl with leg brace: “Vacationing somewhere.”
• Guy holding a cup of coffee precariously while staring quizzically and deprecatingly at us: “……Working on the paper I’m currently working on……”
• Guy in 210: (points to a friend) “He’d rather be playing squash. I’d rather be sleeping.”
• Girl in 210: “Drinking some white wine.”
• Girl reading constitutional law: “Twerkin’, pop lock and droppin’ it, maybe crumpin’.”
• Guy outside the cafe: “Obviously, being anywhere but Butler.”
• Girl hunched over lit hum readings in catalog room: “Sleeping…” (laughs, tentatively at first, then hysterically)
• Guy in glasses in 3rd floor armchair: “I’d rather be watching, um…what’s that TV show?” Girl in other armchair: “Arrested Development?” Guy: “NO, that’s been off the air for years! Ugh, what’s it called…I’m really drawing a blank here…oh my God, I hate myself…oh, HAPPY ENDINGS! It’s a sitcom.”
• Girl outside 303: “I’m good doing what I’m doing right now.”
• Guy in 504: “Playing water polo.”
• Girl in 615: “Like, anything. I’d rather be doing schoolwork than what I’m doing.”
• Girl in the 304 balconies: “I’d rather be partying. Drinking, listening to music, hanging out.”
• Girl at table: “Eating Nutella on my bed watching movies.”
• Girls sitting on the floor on 4: Girl one: “Sitting at home eating yummy food and knowing that I get to watch Homeland later tonight which I can’t do because I have to study.” Girl two: “I would be at the beach. How nice does the beach sound right now?”
• Girl in the computer lab: “Procrastinating.”

Tonight, Bwog bumped around Butler, asking one question: “Are you happy?” Here is what you said.

• A guy walking into 209: “Yes, because I think I’m in the right place, doing the right thing.”
• A man on the second floor: “Moderately. [shrugs] That’s kind of an awkward question to ask in a library.”
• One of your friendly neighborhood Butler smokers: “You know, man, what you’re gonna get is, you’re gonna get people who are upset at how they did on their last midterm, and they’ll say they’re sad right now…and then boom: people at Columbia are depressed. Bwog.”
• His companion: “No. Actually… what is happiness?”
• Reading a Bible in 403: “Am I happy? [giggle] Yeah.”
• A girl wearing a football jersey at a table of drunk people in 210: “Yes, because we just had margaritas!”
• Good looking blonde staring at herself in the second floor bathroom mirror: “Yes. I’m leaving this place.”
• An Asian girl in Butler cafe: “Yes. I came here from China to study and join a different culture, and I live with my boyfriend. So I think I’m happy.”
• White guy in Butler Cafe wearing sweatshirt/jeans/baseball cap: “I’m a Columbia student writing a paper in Butler on a Sunday night. What’s not to love?”
• Girl in the stacks: “Yes! I was looking for a novel and I just found it!”
• A jock-type in 209 with fake nerd glasses: “Yeah, because life is good.”
• Guy in the Reference Room: “No.”
• Female on Facebook in a sixth floor room: “Saw my family this weekend. Finished my CC paper at a godly hour. My ex’s new girlfriend is uglier than me. I guess life is pretty good.”
• Chilled out guy in the Reference Room wearing Beats headphones, earnestly: “Yeah, man. Sure!”
• Girl sobbing in the sixth floor hallway: [no answer]  (ed. note: Bwog is sorry! We didn’t notice!)

Uncertain person holding a flower via Shutterstock