Fall 2022 was a wild semester for Bwog and Barnumbia alike. Here to sum it all up is your former Editor-in-Chief and current Alma, Sofia Fontaine.
It’s midnight on December 22, 2022. The semester has come to a close. Columbia’s finals week is barely over. Brains are dead. Bwog is here to remind you of all the chaos and wonder that occurred this Fall, born from our Staff’s abundance of brain juices.
For Bwog and Columbia students at large, August marked the very beginning of the Fall 2022 semester, so school was weighing heavy on our minds. We advised first-year students on how to plan their Fall classes, if they were, like us, very unsure what they wanted to study at the young age of 18. News Editor Victoria Borlando and Deputy News Editor Paulina Rodriguez guided Columbia and Barnard students alike through each school’s “core” curriculums—Barnard’s makeshift Core and The Core for CC students. Former Science Editor (and Bwog’s new Editor-in-Chief) Kyle Murrary gave us pointers to maneuver through the credit system, while others mourned Max Caffé. Staff Writer Linus Glenhaber guided us through Columbia’s many libraries, with Events Editor Ava Slocum telling us how to find the least-crowded study spaces. Bwog remembered the bests and worsts of CU’s dining halls and outgoing Managing Editor Grace Fitzgerald-Diaz reminded us how to navigate Barnumbia’s health services. We celebrated the 16 Columbia alumni who were selected for Fulbright Scholarships and welcomed all the young rats to campus, with hopes they’d graduate and follow in the Fulbright Scholars’ extraordinary footsteps. August rounded out with a detailed tale of Kyle Murray’s summer stint in Venice, Italy and, with that, the Fall semester truly began.
For all the floundering potential STEM majors entering Columbia, Kyle Murray explained, in detail, how exactly to receive a STEM degree, while Grace Fitzgerald-Diaz described their summer spent in a bevy bag. During move-in, we used our imaginations: Y/N fell in love with Harry Styles (duh), wondered about the campus crop circles, and questioned why it was suddenly so easy to turn the tooth sculpture on Law Bridge. The first week of classes was hard, as it always is, but we survived by baking while baked, learning how to make our summers sound incredible (even if they weren’t), lying on the lawns, naming babies, and falling in love with @columbiatendollarposters. We took a deep dive into Columbia’s campus tours, wondering what impressionable prospies are told—or not told—about our beloved schools. To further welcome new and returning students to campus, Barnard had Convocation and distributed hundreds of ugly yellow shirts to the first-year class. Many Bwoggers attended the World Leaders Forum, listening to speeches by European Commission Vice President Frans Timmermans, Prime Minister of North Macedonia Dimitar Kovachevski, COP26 President Alok Sharma, leader of the Belarusian Democratic Forces Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya, and Gabriel Boric Font, Chile’s President. For Bwog, September was also the month of Hewitt—we argued over its place on the Barnumbia dining hall leaderboard, why the tofu is so addicting, and the diversity of the Hewitt spoons.
October at Barnumbia began with the Barnard RA’s filing for union recognition, fighting for better wages and communication between Resident Assistants and ResLife. With two months of classes under our belt, Bwoggers ranked LitHum professors and contemplated our collective mercurial existences. We introduced the world to our Fall 2022 Bwabies and what spices they are—and realized that, for all intents and purposes, Bwog is just a spice cabinet. October was also the month of being “whelmed”: we taste-tested flavored condoms (and were underwhelmed) and Deputy Arts Editor Marino Bubba attended the first Postcrypt performance of the year (and was overwhelmed). Speaking of firsts, the RA Union held their first rally in October, continuing their fight for better working conditions and demanding voluntary recognition by Barnard administration and Bwog reported on Barnard’s decision to bring medication abortions to campus for the first time by Fall 2023, following the RJC’s months of advocating. With midterms quickly approaching, our professors told us about phalluses and made us panic. To escape, Bwoggers Emma Burris and Viviana Pereyo looked under Vivi’s bed (and found a new dimension), while former Science Editor, and current EIC, Kyle Murrary delved deep into the world of the crushed lanternfly. But, most of all, October was the month of Bwoggers loving, hating, avoiding, and throwing various soups.
November, as always, was the semester’s terrifying liminal space. Bwoggers made jungle juice at JJ’s, Edgar-Allen-Poe-ified rats, and touched things. Bwoggers also fell back in love with Barnumbia’s various campuses in November. Barnard was highlighted with the Columbia Democrats’ Get Out the Vote rally in the Diana Center, featuring speeches and appearances by Vice President Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, and New York Governor Kathy Hochul, Big Sub (and Bwog’s better version), Deputy Events Editor Julia Tolda and Deputy Editor Lillian Rountree’s PeopleHop with Adjunct Associate Professor Elif Batuman, and an ode to everyone’s favorite Barnard students, Frog and Toad. But, of course, nothing could hold a candle to PrezDILF over at Columbia! During November, Bwoggers celebrated the Columbia fencing team, passed the swim test, and ultimately decided that Matty Healy would be the perfect (horrible-est) CC student ever. Three outstanding Columbia theater productions took our breath away this month, too! CMTS’ In The Heights, KCST’s Henry IV, and CUPAL’s Camp Cattywampus all made indelible marks on the minds and hearts of Daily Editor Talia Bloom and Staff Writer Emma Burris, Advertising Manager Charlie Bonkowsky, and Arts Editor Grace Novarr. Bwog covered two protests that took place on Columbia’s campus this November, as well. The first was led by trans and queer students, organized as a way to speak out against a CUCR guest speaker and detransition advocate; the second was a student- and community-led vigil and protest, in response to China’s Zero-COVID policies on Low Steps. As November came to an end, Bwog’s brightest minds relaxed by exploding Coca Cola and struggling to get Taylor Swift tickets.
Perfectly encompassing the highs and lows of humanity, December had a shitty start for former Daily Editor and 2023 Managing Editor Elijah Knodell, a bright start for Staff Writer Jake Torres, and a milky one for Publisher Charlotte Slovin. Worlds collided when Bwog saw Seurat x Sondheim in CMTS’ second production of the semester, Sunday In The Park With George, disco x Orchesis at the performing arts group’s annual show DiscOrchesis, and lesbians x book clubs at CUPAL’s Dr. Ride’s American Beach House. Once again, Sports Editor Maxwell Lurken-Tvrdik and Social Editor Eli Reville found the worst places to study on campus by climbing sculptures and ducking under signs. December at Bwog was the month of celebrity sightings, too; Emily Dickinson obliterated her most recent frat party experience, PrezBo welcomed us into the hallowed halls of his gorgeous home, and the real-life, alive, and always iconic Paul McCartney (né Staff Writer Simon Panfilio) graced us with his holy presence. On campus, students protested the eviction of Red Balloon Preschool by Columbia, asserting the school’s importance to the larger Morningside Heights community and the Barnard RAs finally received a $1000 raise for the upcoming academic year. While finals raged on, Bwoggers caffeinated, studied, and went a little crazy. We admired Morton Williams’ Christmas decorations, wishing for some snow and a respite from the rigors of studying and testing. To take a quick study break, we throbbed and were totally sober at this semester’s Latenite. (You know, “the duality of man” and all that.) Then, in a conclusion to the various COVID-19 policy changes we’ve endured, Barnard put an end to mandatory COVID-19 testing for the upcoming Spring semester. To celebrate, we blasted music, looking back at the albums that defined our semesters, that somehow made the Fall’s doom and gloom slightly bearable. And, as all years do, the semester concluded as we welcomed the Early Decision Classes of 2027 to Barnard and Columbia, and Fall 2022’s wisest graduates told us to get a monitor, take Riverside Park walks with Elliot Page, take Contact Improv with Colleen Thomas twice, YOLO, and just take it all in.
December also marked the end of the Fall 2022 Board’s term and the beginning of 2023 Board’s soon-to-be extraordinary year. Here’s to this wonderful Fall and an even more wonderful year for Kyle, Eli, and Hannah (your new Board)!
Have a holly jolly Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and a wonderful Kwanzaa, Upper-West-siders.
The best part of winter at Columbia via Bwog Archives