See you later, Columbia. Goodbye, Fall 2019. It’s been rough but we’d like to thank our old board, our new board, our editors, our staffers, and of course our readers: you.
SUMMER AND NSOP
Even though school isn’t in session, things surprisingly keep happening at Columbia. Bwog reported what you needed to know throughout the summer, including Central Park Five Prosecutor Elizabeth Lederer resigning from her position at Columbia Law, Columbia winning $150,000 through a contract with U.S. Customs and Border Protections, Book Culture being in jeopardy of closing, and the Executive Director of Barnard Public Safety being fired.
As NSOP neared, Bwog Staff geared up for the start of the semester by posting first-year-related content for the first time. We sent out our weekly newsletter geared towards pre-frosh, named FreshLetter, for the first time. Bwog Staff informed the pre-frosh what they will cry about and what they shouldn’t cry about. Arts Editor Riva Weinstein rolled out one of her beloved comics, sharing five things she wishes she had known before coming to Columbia. Before the pre-frosh could step foot on campus, we knew we had to guide them on the basics of Barnard Buy Sell, First-Gen Low Income resources, which classes to take, how to stock a dorm pantry, and everything in between.
This semester started with a bang as CULPA was down on the first day of classes. Typical. We expressed our frustration with Claremont not having a bike storage as promised by yelling into the 1 Train and breaking the Carman Hall glass. PrezBo didn’t even allow McDonald’s to last a week into the semester, and we pled for you to stop hitting your Juul in our faces. Our school pride shone through as we proposed which Columbia-related tattoos we should get and we celebrated our sharing an alma mater with Nevel Papperman. We strolled our way through the first week of classes, just as Staff Writer Ramisa Murshed makes her daily stroll from CG to campus.
As the reality of being back in school settled in, we reminisced on summer by figuring out who campus figures would be as Bachelor in Paradise contestants and hung out at 1020 until last call. By then, we had some laundry to do, forcing us to enter the lawless Plimpton laundry room. We checked out the digs Chartwell brought in with their first semester in Diana and Hewitt. To get off campus for the first time this semester, Bwog made our way downtown to attend an NYU Local meeting.
We also expressed our love for random food items in Morton Williams and for all of those people who asked oddly specific questions in large lectures. Conversely, we hated on everyone who sit directly next to us in empty lecture halls and the tight turn around times between classes. We #educated you on how to make a drink at a college party that is actually good and renamed the sculptures around campus. We ended the month as it started, with pure chaos, as we listed the best places on campus to give birth.
In true Bwog style, we finally decorated our dorm rooms in October. We also competed with our neighbors in tooth brushing…and speaking of neighbors, our downtown friend NYU’s Chartwells-ran dining hall failed their health inspections. Our former-EIC debated Columbia Person Autumn, and with the changing of the seasons a Bwogger gained a new pet raccoon.
We went to some really cool events such as the event with Christine Blasey Ford regarding the #MeToo movement and a several-hour fashion event. Speaking of fashion and trends, we hopped the TikTok club and wrote up a DIY guide on how to cut your Columbia shirt, just in time for homecoming. This is Bwog after all, so obviously we complained about matcha, people who take our omelets, inconsiderate neighbors who are way too horny, and people singing in the study rooms. It is midterm season, so we cried, pretended to be a Barnard student, and pretended to be a SEAS student but seriously failed.
Barnard had Big Sub, which is something you should tell prospective students about, unlike this list of things you really shouldn’t. We ate Chinese food, we ate Koronet, then we had to burn it off by doing what we do best at the gym– eavesdropping. We reimagined Columbia things as John Mulaney quotes, and we reimagined Columbia as a school in the south.
On a more serious note, there was some drama. A student found glass shards in her John Jay meal and Public Safety faced even more scrutiny as a student revealed a video of officers dragging a protester by the legs. Columbia University Marching Band was finally allowed to play at athletic events again just in time for Homecoming, which we won by the way. Oh right, Columbia Housing Selection moved online, so RIP to Bwog housing coverage. As long as we are still talking about housing, JTS students were evicted from their old dorm.
We kicked off November by not going to office hours and not studying for our midterms; we did attend an event called “Dismantling Big Gay” but decided to dismantle the concept instead. After that we retreated to our rooms for four days of sleep, Netflix, and sleep before heading back to classes. Courseworks was down upon our return and we didn’t know how to handle it, just like one brave Barnard Bwogger who ventured into the Butler Stacks.
Despite climate change’s best effort, it got really fucking cold (and some of us are from California, so it’s even worse.) We learned that Big Tech Is People (but they’re still pretty evil). Then, everyone on campus turned into Timmy! Two staffers reviewed Eli’s Wine Bar on Amsterdam, your next happy hour hangout but sometimes free food is the best.
Columbia’s Climate Change Task Force answered questions about what Columbia is doing to solve the biggest crisis of the 21st century while another staffer looked back to the history of gentrification in NYC and a third attended a panel reflecting on 400 year anniversary of the first enslaved people brought to America. Bwog decided to fight the statues and crowned a winner before using our newly tested combat skills to demolish the NYU 2023 GroupMe.
It snew! We tasted soups around campus to help you get through these cold, dark days as painlessly as possible. Speaking of food, Diana smoothies returned and we told which combos to ring them in with while two brave Bwoggers braved waterborne illness to tell you which fountains to avoid drinking from (maybe avoid the ones on Low).
Right before Thanksgiving, we received news that an unnamed man passed away at 25 Claremont. A few days later, Columbia Extinction Rebellion staged a 5-day hunger strike in Butler trying to push the University to take action on climate change. When we returned, Barnard launched a new neuroscience department and Joe Coffee launched a new cup design (one Bwog staffer is not a fan).
We also saw…so much theater; Bwog reviewed: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Ajax, In the Blood, Linguistic Features of AAVE, The Seagull, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Legally Blonde, and MFA Acting Thesis Where Do We Live. Dance also took campus by storm with performances by Columbia Repertory Ballet, Barnard/Columbia Dances, and the Columbia Ballet Collaborative.
We closed out November with an interview with Soundcloud rapper Yung Nugget and the approval of the BDS referendum, which will be included on the ballot in spring elections. Barnard and Columbia announced fall PBK nominees. Bwog published a piece on how the MTA’s recent fare evasion crackdown has affected the student body before giving thanks for everything and everyone we love.
With the end of the semester in sight, Bwog interviewed the man who got the university to repeal the rule against live music in Wein Hall in the 90s. We thank him for bringing us some year-round cheer, but the little moments of Christmas cheer are also worth celebrating. Don’t freak out but we wanted to let you to know that that was definitely your old high school classmate you just saw on College Walk. Maybe you can take them through your CC Journey™, guided by TikTok, or to Kara Swisher’s talk on Big Tech.
Tree lighting happened and Bwog was single but then we got cuffed and went on some cute winter dates. NYULocal, the former love of our life, tried to kidnap our son Baby Yoda and we were Not Amused. Of course, the arrival of cuffing season meant the beginning of the panic over summer internships; luckily, Science 101 has the back of every STEM student around.
There were also some big announcements this month: the Columbia’s food pantry expanded to Barnard (yay!), early decision was announced for CC/SEAS and Barnard (yay!!!), Columbia filed to build new grad student housing and a new McDonald’s on 125th and Bacchanal will be moving to Terminal 5 this spring (we’re attempting to reserve judgment). We bid adieu to our old board and then said goodbye to our least favorite classes of the semester, which was less tear-jerking by far.
December brought slightly less theater but Bwoggers still caught showings of Latenite Fall 2019, Men on Boats, and Alice in Wonderland. Three Barnard first years also caught an early screening of Greta Gerwig’s Little Women s and it did not disappoint. We also got musical on our own: bringing you our favorite holiday classics, study jams, our semester in Slack music recommendations, and albums that defined our semester. We also celebrated the literary arts, compiling a list of Black, Indigenous, Asian, and Latinx women writers in honor of the Butler Banner project.
To get ready for finals, Bwogger Miyoki Walker gave you your horoscope and we compiled all our best finals content. During reading week, we hosted a pajama party in Butler so we could sleep, eat, and face-mask away our stress from doors refusing to open and having to compile some of the most cursed images on campus. We even leaked our notes so everyone could benefit from our non-Senior Wisdom. Looking ahead to next semester, Bwog offered our tips on how to keep you fresh in your friends’ memories while you jet set off to Europe, Asia, or South America.
The end of the semester was marked by a campus tragedy: the stabbing of 18-year-old Barnard first-year Tess Majors. A 13-year-old boy has been arrested for Majors’ death but the investigation continues. In the face of the tragedy, Barnard alums have banded together to support students with housing and words of encouragement. During these difficult times, Bwog encourages you to practice self-care and use all the resources Barnumbia has to offer to manage your mental health.
Isabel Sepúlveda will be taking the helm as Bwog’s new Editor in Chief, along with Eva Sher as Managing Editor and Vivian Zhou as Internal Editor. Matt Wayland and Andrew Penn will continue keeping us in snack money as Bwog’s publishers. We wish you all a wonderful, restful winter break and a happy holiday season to all who celebrate. Catch you next semester, Columbia!
Bye via Pixabear